I can never choose what I want; they have such a rye range of bread!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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Yo come up with the best bread puns and dont ask rye.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xrmsa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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George R. R. Martin's love of food does not include rye bread

In his opinion, "What is bread is never rye."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xwhy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2018
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says we don't serve food here

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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I went to the zoo yesterday and I saw a piece of toast in a cage.

When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/insideout97
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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I loaf it πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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Have you all heard about the top secret bakery?

I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BLJ2273
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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I'm a trucker. My dispatcher texted me to ask if I'd picked up a load of frozen toast. This was my response...

20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.

Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!

Sorry about my rye sense of humor...

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimMarch
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
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Told my dad I needed '00 flour' for baking

"What's the difference? Does it have a licence to mill?" It's an awful joke, but live and let rye.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SusanBoyleJr42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Bread puns

That guy who stole my bread is toast! He butter be able to run fast! Need more bread related puns, much appreciated boys.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Camprosic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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The number of puns is 'rising'

I mean, you just 'knead' to listen to the number of bread puns I have, its the 'yeast' you could do. I can't 'wheat' to share them. If not, then 'rye' bother? All this time would have been 'spelt' for nothing. I 'batter' stop now. What, you thought 'oil' my puns were bread related? I'm afraid to say that's not 'white', but there's no need to be 'sourdough'.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonstermunch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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He got us. He cracks himself up.

So, I'm about to eat breakfast at my parents. I ask what kind of bread everyone wants. My mom says, "I like the dill rye bread." My dad replies, "that's because it's made of dill dough!" And they both start laughing hysterically. My parents, ladies and gentlemen. 37 years together and she still finds him funny.

πŸ‘︎ 121
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eternium_or_bust
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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Automechaniker

I take my car to a German mechanic every once in awhile to get my car fixed, he's never changed his prices and always gets the job done properly and promptly. He also gives out free bread after every repair. I was having a conversation with my wife..

Wife: Where are you taking the car?

Me: To my usual mechanic

Wife: Where is that?

Me: The German guy

Wife: lol, the bread guy?

Me. Well yeah, he's the rye guy for the job.

Haven't heard from my wife for a few hours.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thewhatnowyousay
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2015
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Girlfriend ordered a sandwich

and said it came on the wrong bread.

I said aw it wasn't the rye one?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_driveslow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2017
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Asked my mom to make me a sandwich this morning

Mom: "Do you want wheat or rye bread?" Me: "Let's go with wheat, I wouldn't want it to run a-rye while I'm eating it" Me: giant troll face

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lskebba
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
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A discussion I had with a woman over E-mail, Ripe with dad jokes.

Me:That's one of my specialties! Yesterday when one of my coworkers playfully hit me with curtains I threatened to have her arrested for assault with a thread-ly weapon.

Her: That's so cheesy, but so gouda.

M: Hearing you say that makes me feel grate!

H: Course! I couldn't just let it brie without returning with a different pun. :)

M: I'm so glad we curd share this moment, it keeps me from feeling bleu.

H: Are you stilton going on about this? It could be seen as a provelone.

M: No Whey! Really? I accepted Cheeses into my life a long time ago.

H: Well, I believe that there is more out there than Cheeses, with your Parmesan I could continue. Too bad I am bread tired, and wish to be loafing around. Good night and sweet dreams

M: Well, early to Bread early to Rise, as they say. You have sweet dreams. Oh, and don't ask Rye if I'm in them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LegendofDragoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2016
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