In his opinion, "What is bread is never rye."
The bartender says we don't serve food here
When I asked the keeper why, he said, "It was bread in captivity!"
I didn't think so, it is on a knead to dough basis.
20,000lb of frozen bread so clearly I'm loafing along and a gluten for punishment.
Bad puns are the yeast of my problems. This load takes me to the upper crust, but if I don't get it in on time I'm toast!
Sorry about my rye sense of humor...
"What's the difference? Does it have a licence to mill?" It's an awful joke, but live and let rye.
That guy who stole my bread is toast! He butter be able to run fast! Need more bread related puns, much appreciated boys.
I mean, you just 'knead' to listen to the number of bread puns I have, its the 'yeast' you could do. I can't 'wheat' to share them. If not, then 'rye' bother? All this time would have been 'spelt' for nothing. I 'batter' stop now. What, you thought 'oil' my puns were bread related? I'm afraid to say that's not 'white', but there's no need to be 'sourdough'.
So, I'm about to eat breakfast at my parents. I ask what kind of bread everyone wants. My mom says, "I like the dill rye bread." My dad replies, "that's because it's made of dill dough!" And they both start laughing hysterically. My parents, ladies and gentlemen. 37 years together and she still finds him funny.
I take my car to a German mechanic every once in awhile to get my car fixed, he's never changed his prices and always gets the job done properly and promptly. He also gives out free bread after every repair. I was having a conversation with my wife..
Wife: Where are you taking the car?
Me: To my usual mechanic
Wife: Where is that?
Me: The German guy
Wife: lol, the bread guy?
Me. Well yeah, he's the rye guy for the job.
Haven't heard from my wife for a few hours.
and said it came on the wrong bread.
I said aw it wasn't the rye one?
Mom: "Do you want wheat or rye bread?" Me: "Let's go with wheat, I wouldn't want it to run a-rye while I'm eating it" Me: giant troll face
Me:That's one of my specialties! Yesterday when one of my coworkers playfully hit me with curtains I threatened to have her arrested for assault with a thread-ly weapon.
Her: That's so cheesy, but so gouda.
M: Hearing you say that makes me feel grate!
H: Course! I couldn't just let it brie without returning with a different pun. :)
M: I'm so glad we curd share this moment, it keeps me from feeling bleu.
H: Are you stilton going on about this? It could be seen as a provelone.
M: No Whey! Really? I accepted Cheeses into my life a long time ago.
H: Well, I believe that there is more out there than Cheeses, with your Parmesan I could continue. Too bad I am bread tired, and wish to be loafing around. Good night and sweet dreams
M: Well, early to Bread early to Rise, as they say. You have sweet dreams. Oh, and don't ask Rye if I'm in them
