Ukraine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paladin717
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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This year I went as Ukraine's most famous cephalopod.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jram1818
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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Hor Halloween this year I'm going as Ukraine
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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I live in ukraine and i watched that show chernobyl pretty decent but...

I counted 13 inaccuracies on my right hand alone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WowCreativeName
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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What's Justin Timberlake's favorite part of Ukraine?

The Crimea River

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScoutsOut389
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
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Flag of Ukraine
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2018
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Did you hear about the song that Ella Fitzgerald was singing on the banks of the Alma in Ukraine?

It was Crimea River

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ClassyScotsman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
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What did Ukraine say when being invaded by Russia?

If I’m going to be Russian, then Soviet!

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2018
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Why shouldn't you wear shorts in Ukraine?

Because chernobyl fallout...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdrew91
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2017
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Why shouldn't you wear shorts in Ukraine?

Because otherwise Chernobyl fallout

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsize
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
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People say making jokes about the Ukraine/ Russia conflict is in poor taste. Well those people can just go Crimea river
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdenlisoz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2014
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After we heard about Russia invading the Ukraine

Dad: Hey since Russia went and invaded the Ukraine do you think we will have to go and kill Putin?

Me: What? No. Why?

Dad: Oh. I guess I just assumed we'd have to be Putin him down.

Everyone within earshot: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zektron42
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2014
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What was Putin's response to the UN after they got upset over Ukraine?

Crimea-river

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riddly_Diddly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2014
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What did Russia tell the Ukraine?

Crimea river

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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Since most countries are fought over for resources, I asked my dad what Ukraine had.

He says Ukrainium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eldrazi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2014
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I'm ok with Russia invading Ukrain

After all, it's about time that London had some sun

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheASHTening
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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What do you call a fascist state?

A fascination.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheEpicPotato345
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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A struggling young news reporter was having trouble getting good sound bites from the politicians she was sent out to interview, so she invited an experienced colleague out to dinner to ask for advice.

The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.

Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.

As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."

As the g

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/podgress
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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What kind of crane is that?

My wife responded, "it's a u"

"A u?" I said. "Never heard of that!"

"Yep, a ukraine."

Got dad joked by my wife. πŸ˜‘

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomesickRedneck
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
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Why do Russians ALWAYS wear Speedos?

Because Chernobyl Fallout...😁

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Standingfast85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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When I saw videos of the Ukrain riots: It was like screwing around on a camping trip

Fucking in tents

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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I was at a restaurant with my dad, I asked him if he was getting the Chicken Cordon Bleu or the Chicken Kiev.

He said, "the Cordon Bleu's good, but I hear the Kiev is revolting."

(groan)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/atomicbolt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2014
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Are you Hungary [OC]

Are Ukraine your neck to Czech on the Turkey that they put down the Holland Finished with Chilli because there is Norway it will have Germans on it if you Russia to get there to Welsh and eat it because you're Hungary. Or will you let it die in Spain and leave Denmark on your name. If you do will you leave it on the Iraq and leave because Iran away to save my Korea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RedDragon98
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2017
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Little insensitive there, dad.

Me: Horrible what's going on in Ukraine, isn't it?

Dad: Crimea river.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aralasqt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2014
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Two in one day

My boss and a couple other employees were discussing how I came in even though I was sick and one employee, who is from the Ukraine said "I guess I dont get sick because I ha e better genes to handle the cold weather." My boss replied with "Well what are they? Levis?" We all had a giggle.

Later that very same day I delivered a bag to a post office which must've went out by mistake because it had zero items. When I was leaving the man who received the delivery said to me "Have a good day and thanks for nothin!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/revenantwolf
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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European Pun!

I have Moldova European puns and there is Norway Ukraine diss them, Andorra idiot if you try.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/painya
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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The tale of Ivan Ivanavich (Long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himsel

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entophreak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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My fiancΓ©e and I were watching the olympics together this morning

" Did you know that Chiropractor is the most prevalent profession in Ukraine?"

"Hmm, I had no idea"

"Yeah, it's 'cause when you live there you crane your neck a lot"

eye roll

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kangaroo_Quart
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2016
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I dropped this one on my brother today...

He doesn't use the internet much, so his news is always slow and outdated. I got this text from him;

"Hey, did you hear about that whole Russia/Ukraine thing? I feel so bad for the Ukrainians."

Naturally my reply was "Oh Crimea river."

He texted back an eye-roll so I figured I won.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KnightNight-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2014
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Dad joked during the Olympics

While watching the closing ceremonies for the Olympics, my dad says

"Do you think that in Ukraine, they call their heads 'ukrainiums'?"

Begrudging groans were had by all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anivepairofears
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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While Playing Battlefield 4

Slothiesm: Want to know what Russia is saying to Ukraine now?

Vectron9: Sure

Slothiesm: Crimea river!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ascenzi4
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2014
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