I counted 13 inaccuracies on my right hand alone
The Crimea River
It was Crimea River
If I’m going to be Russian, then Soviet!
Because chernobyl fallout...
Because otherwise Chernobyl fallout
Dad: Hey since Russia went and invaded the Ukraine do you think we will have to go and kill Putin?
Me: What? No. Why?
Dad: Oh. I guess I just assumed we'd have to be Putin him down.
Everyone within earshot: groan
He says Ukrainium.
After all, it's about time that London had some sun
The would-be mentor insisted on going to a seafood restaurant and then he ordered his favorite meal for the both of them. When the hard working, fresh-out-of-journalism-school grad asked the veteran newshound how he always managed to get witty phrases from the Prime Ministers and Presidents he interviewed, a sly smile swam across his face.
Intrigued, she watched intently while he reached for his wallet then removed a €5 note. Holding it toward her face over the table, she was surprised when the greying beat writer dropped the money directly on her uneaten dinner and held an index finger to his closed lips.
As they both looked down at the seafood platter, his paper Euro was suddenly sucked under the rings of fried calamari until it disappeared from sight. After what sounded like a stand-up comedian clearing his throat, a male voice with an Eastern European accent clearly rose out of her food. It said, "Trump asked for dirt on Biden so I sent him some good Ukrainian topsoil."
As the g... keep reading on reddit ➡
My wife responded, "it's a u"
"A u?" I said. "Never heard of that!"
"Yep, a ukraine."
Got dad joked by my wife. 😑
Because Chernobyl Fallout...😁
Fucking in tents
He said, "the Cordon Bleu's good, but I hear the Kiev is revolting."
Are Ukraine your neck to Czech on the Turkey that they put down the Holland Finished with Chilli because there is Norway it will have Germans on it if you Russia to get there to Welsh and eat it because you're Hungary. Or will you let it die in Spain and leave Denmark on your name. If you do will you leave it on the Iraq and leave because Iran away to save my Korea.
Me: Horrible what's going on in Ukraine, isn't it?
Dad: Crimea river.
My boss and a couple other employees were discussing how I came in even though I was sick and one employee, who is from the Ukraine said "I guess I dont get sick because I ha e better genes to handle the cold weather." My boss replied with "Well what are they? Levis?" We all had a giggle.
Later that very same day I delivered a bag to a post office which must've went out by mistake because it had zero items. When I was leaving the man who received the delivery said to me "Have a good day and thanks for nothin!"
I have Moldova European puns and there is Norway Ukraine diss them, Andorra idiot if you try.
There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himsel... keep reading on reddit ➡
" Did you know that Chiropractor is the most prevalent profession in Ukraine?"
"Hmm, I had no idea"
"Yeah, it's 'cause when you live there you crane your neck a lot"
He doesn't use the internet much, so his news is always slow and outdated. I got this text from him;
"Hey, did you hear about that whole Russia/Ukraine thing? I feel so bad for the Ukrainians."
Naturally my reply was "Oh Crimea river."
He texted back an eye-roll so I figured I won.
While watching the closing ceremonies for the Olympics, my dad says
"Do you think that in Ukraine, they call their heads 'ukrainiums'?"
Begrudging groans were had by all.