I got rear-ended by a rental car today

It hertz

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I remember when I bought my first rear view mirror.

I never looked back!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChuckBerry2020
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2021
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A police officer tried to pull me over for not having a rear view mirror.

But I didn’t see him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LoogyHead
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.

So I removed the whole mirror.

I haven’t looked back since.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Just watched a movie where the main protagonist decapitates a guy with a car’s rear fin.

Oh sorry, β€œSPOILERS A HEAD”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bentup85
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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IF RUSSIA INVADED TURKEY FROM THE REAR...WOULD GREECE HELP
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sK197666
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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We had a car that was Front Wheel Drive and a truck that was Rear Wheel Drive, but we traded them both for on SUV

And now it's All We'll Drive!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dirge-kismet
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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Checking out your butt in a dressing room is just you looking through a rear-view mirror.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FairlyCharming
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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When I was in the Navy, I was often told to go to the rear of the ship...

They were stern orders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Driving down the road, listening to Disney songs. I look in my rear view mirror. My two-year-old is grooving. I ask her, "Aw, are you dancing?" And she replies,

"I'm Avery."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TuLongDong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shininglice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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The other day my rear view camera broke

and I've never looked back since

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lancalot
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What did the car's front tire say to the rear tire?

I'll see you around!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I was in an accident the other day, rear-ended the car in front. We both pulled over, and a dwarf got out of the other car.

He said, "I'm not happy." I replied, "Well, which one are you then?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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What do you call a lady of the evening only interested rear maneuvers?

Q: What do you call a lady of the evening only interested rear maneuvers?

A: A back ho.

I'll show myself out

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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I rear ended a dwarf in a mini...

He hopped out, waddled over, and signalled me to wind down my window.

As the window came down, red in the face he yelled β€œI AM NOT HAPPY!”

To which I replied, β€œWell which one are you then?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seshimus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
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I saw a donkey with a stained glass window affixed to it's rear end...

What a pane on the ass!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I bought a new rear tire for my motorcycle today. As the clerk handed it to me, I looked him in the eye and said "guess I can retire now"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confibulator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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I decided to live more dangerously, so I took the rear-view mirror out of my car.

I've made my decision and there is no looking back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmyspr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
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Why should you never make an award shaped like a feline rear end?

It's always a cat-as-trophe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/retief1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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When I was younger, I really liked looking at women’s rears

Not much has changed except now I’m a grown ass-man

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pacos-ego
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the Name of the Lord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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Is "buttcheeks" one word?

Or should I spread them apart?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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So, I finally met the inventor of the Rear View Mirror

I said to him "since creating this invention how has it changed your life?". He said to me, "funny you say that, after I invented it I've never looked back".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slartibartfastBB
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2018
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Kenny Rogers was driving along the highway and discovered his rear wobbly tire popped off his truck and rolled down the middle of the road. That's when he broke out in song...

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Loose Wheel!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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The Bun Huggers Lounge in Flagstaff, AZ has "additional parking in rear."
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ddras
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2017
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As we were pulling out of our driveway and I was adjusting the mirrors, I said to my wife, "It's important to remember, there's side view, rear view and you know what else?"

"I loview!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2018
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My dad ran over a cat one day. I suggested he scrape it off the road and put it's rear on the wall.

Because it was his Cat-Ass-Trophy

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2015
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Did you ever hear about detective Rear?

He had some tough cases but, he always got to the bottom of it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ninthpower
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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A bread truck rear-ended me on the interstate and then sped away.

It was a hit and bun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2016
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My nephew smacked his face on the rear view mirror of a car...

I told him "Be careful, it's closer than it appears."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpudsMcKensey
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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What do you call the rear end of a part man, part lion?

It's Sphinx-ter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WheresTheWombo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2017
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Why is the rear of a ship so hard to impress? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/termiAurthur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Installing snow tires on the rear of my truck. Noticed they are a little taller than the front tires. Dad says that's ok, I'll get better gas mileage.

"Because you'll always be driving downhill."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fitchgt
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
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I removed the rear view mirror from my car last week.

Haven't looked back since.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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I got tired of flipping the little switch on my rear view mirror to dim the headlights.

So I removed the whole mirror.

I haven’t looked back since.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThriveBrewing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
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What did the car's front tire say to the rear tire?

Why so low? Are you tired?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/warpedddd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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I took the rear view mirror out of my car

i haven't looked back since

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Icaho
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Rear-ended a midget

Rear-ended a midget the other day. He got out of the car and told me "he was not happy" So I asked, "which one are you"?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nkfallout
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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If Russia invaded Turkey from the rear, would Greece help?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moliz1
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
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I rear ended a car with a Jesus bumper sticker on it.

I stopped in the name of the Lord.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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I took the rear view mirror out of my car..

...Since then, I've never looked back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothepropellor
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2017
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