Pizza place played puns perfectly
Why don’t vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
When I was a kid, I wanted to play the guitar really badly.
And after years of hard work, practice and dedication, I can now play the guitar really badly.
A lion would never play golf.
Just heard a man had an accident while playing peek a boo..
He's currently in the ICU.
What's a pirates favorite toy to play with?
My wife caught me playing with my son's train set. I was so embarrassed, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
My Bluetooth speaker wasn’t working so I threw it into the lake.
What do you call a bunch of whales that play instruments?
Cruel joke my dad used to play
When I was a kid, my dad used to ask me if I wanted to go to Cotton Springs. When I said yes, he would tell me to go to bed :(
Why would T. Rex have a hard time playing the piano?
There is a board game that I stopped playing years ago.
But I don't like talking about my checkered past.
I bought a record at the charity shop the other day, "Sounds That Wasps Make". I took it home and it sounded nothing like Wasps.
That's when I realised I was playing the Bee side.
My friend doesn't want anyone else to know that he used to play board games a lot.
He's had a checkered past.
“I was playing cards with the natives”
“Zulus?”
“No I usually won”
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
Why can't the pirate play Magic the gathering?
Because he is sitting in his deck
Why is it so hard to play cards in the jungle?
why can't sharks play flutes properly?
because they don't have a tuna.
Why are dogs better at playing classical music than cats?
No matter where I go, I like to bring my ukulele, then, whenever someone asks if I play an instrument, I say...
“I play a little guitar!"
A physician broke his leg while auditioning for a play.
Luckily he still made the cast.
I’ve been building play structures for kids in my spare time...
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Why should you never play Hacky Sack with Bigfoot
You'll get you sack-squashed.
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
What did the walnut say to the hazelnut when playing tag?
You better run or I’m going to cashew!
Why shouldn't you play Uno with Mexicans?
They get all the green cards.
One of my friends played guitar while drunk…
Then he got in a Fender bender.
I got an vinyl album of wasp sounds the other day. Played it, didn’t sound anything like wasps!
Then I realised I was playing the bee side.
My dad wanted to post something on Reddit and I told him there’s specific subs he would want to post on and certain ways to post
And he responded “oh so there’s reddiquette to it then”
(Also he’s on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)
I thought about auditioning for that play called The Spices.
I want to get the Cinnamon role.
I used to play guitar by ear...
my crush came over to play with legos
it was a good way to build a relationship
What game do catapilars like to play?
My two year old was playing cars and blocks with my wife, when she (the toddler) put a block on the road on her city map carpet and said:
No one will listen to White Snake with me
SO here I go again on my own
From my 9 year old son: Dad, what hand do you wipe your bum with? Me: My right hand......
Response: EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR, I use toilet paper.
Well played, boy.
I hurt my finger playing Minecraft
It’s okay. Just a minor injury
Friend: “My doctor said I had to give up playing the drums.” Me: “Why?”
Friend: “He lives in the apartment below me.”
Came up with this one myself, one day when I noticed a squeak every time I played a certain note on my tuba.
So I decided to fix it and got a tube o' grease.
Was playing a game of yahtzee, rolled four 2s
I thought I heard someone playing baseball.
I was really embarrassed when my wife caught me playing with my son’s train set by myself. In a moment of panic, I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
When my wife found me playing with my son’s train set, I was so embarrassed that I threw a bedsheet over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
A lion would never play golf...
Why can't you play poker in the jungle ?
Why shouldn't you play poker in the serengeti?
Why don't people play poker in the jungle
There's too many cheetahs
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