My history professor's pun (xpost from r/funny)
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
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Student: Professor, can I do something to raise my grade?

Professor: Um, you know it’s May, right?

Student: Of course, so sorry! β€œMay I do something to raise my grade?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanglukian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. There is no Time.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
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Professor X: What's your superpower?

Me: Hindsight

Professor X: Well that won't be much help to us...

Me: Yes I see that now.

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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What did the professor say when the Urology student did not know the technical name for pee?

Urine idiot.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr3vak
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2021
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At the beginning of the term, my university professor makes all of his students buy the book that he wrote.

It’s textbook Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2021
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My professor wrote on his syllabus "If anyone asks me how I'm doing, my answer will always be 'I am great, how are you?'"

So when we ask him how he's doing, his answer is "It's on the syllabus".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
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Chemistry professor: Is it a good or bad thing that ice is less dense than (floats in) water?

Me: It wasn't good for the Titanic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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A professor studies bisexual people

He is a professor of biology

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therderper123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
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I was scared when my professor told me we were going to learn about relative dating today...

Until I learned it wasn’t the Alabama kind.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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My friend on Facebook just made a post about her favorite professor passing today.

I really wanted to comment and say β€œAt least he passed and didn’t fail.”

But, I feel like it’s too soon and wouldn’t be appreciated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomPseudonyms
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
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[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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What did the maths professor do when he became constipated?

He worked it out with a pencil.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cynical-carrot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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My chemistry professor once said, "I teach better when I'm drinking!"

(That was an Alkali.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he will never be there on time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My professor asked me why did I put only one of the three authors as a reference.

I said that I didn’t feel tempted to do so et. al

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sarawatachi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
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Professor dint have this planned

Me: I am planning to start a cider business She: any alternative plans if it doesn't work out? Me: I haven't decidered yet!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WetSoggyTaco
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.

You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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My professor puts jokes on the board before class
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timesuck47
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I used to date a professor

Now i just called him " Professor X"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.

It was unreal.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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An English professor was telling his class that a double negative makes a positive, but there was no case in which a double positive creates a negative.

From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.

The N’s justify the means.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
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"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"

"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business

It was called Bruce Banisters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllanCD
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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A man asks a professor, "Do you think Einstein's theory was good?"

The professor replies. "Relatively."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Comforted-2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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A college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.

"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.

"Sony!" yells the blonde girl in the front.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hughdman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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The professor had used the entire blackboard for the lecture

The blackboard is now chalk-full of information

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Chemistry professor: It is impossible to be both acidic and basic at the same time.

White girl in the back: Hold my pumpkin spice latte.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/elasticpython
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Why do so many people take Professor Fonzarelli’s class?

Easy ayyy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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Did you hear about the professor afraid of negative numbers?

He stops at nothing to avoid them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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I just dad joked my accounting professor and made her cry from laughing.

Someone asked about extra credit.

Professor: "I'm sorry I don't give extra credit in this class"

Me: "yeah but do you give extra debit?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAugustusCaesar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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I was in class today and the professor's last name was Sullivan. After class I went to ask him...

"So do you want us to call you Prof S, or...?"

He replied, "Yes, but don't say it like a robot..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dolphinflavored
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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Did your hear about the professors that went to an island resort to discuss research paper titles?

It was a topical vacation

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alecksface
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
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Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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what was the Nutty Professor's job?

He worked in macademia!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.

At this rate, he will never be in class on time.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No Time.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat exactly happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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My math professor was late 16 minutes for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.

At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
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My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.

It’s textbook Economics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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I said to my computer science professor that my dog ate my homework.

When he doubted me, I said, "Well, it took him a couple of bytes."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JDogg323
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, β€œWhat happened before The Big Bang?”

He said, β€œSorry. No time.”

πŸ‘︎ 379
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
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To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.

It’s textbook Economics.

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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