My history professor's pun (xpost from r/funny)
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no Time.”
I was scared when my professor told me we were going to learn about relative dating today...
Until I learned it wasn’t the Alabama kind.
A professor studies bisexual people
He is a professor of biology
My friend on Facebook just made a post about her favorite professor passing today.
I really wanted to comment and say “At least he passed and didn’t fail.”
But, I feel like it’s too soon and wouldn’t be appreciated.
My chemistry professor once said, "I teach better when I'm drinking!"
What did the maths professor do when he became constipated?
He worked it out with a pencil.
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
My professor asked me why did I put only one of the three authors as a reference.
I said that I didn’t feel tempted to do so et. al
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he will never be there on time.
I used to date a professor
Now i just called him " Professor X"
My anatomy class is currently covering the skeletal system and my professor is being unreasonable with the amount of material we need to know so I made an office hour appointment to speak with him.
You can bet your ass I have a bone to pick with him.
Professor dint have this planned
Me: I am planning to start a cider business
She: any alternative plans if it doesn't work out?
Me: I haven't decidered yet!
An English professor was telling his class that a double negative makes a positive, but there was no case in which a double positive creates a negative.
From the back of the room a Physics professor said, "Yeah, yeah."
I still remember the moment when my math professor told us what the square root of -1 was.
I just got off the phone with a professor in China. He says it's not worth getting Covid-19
As they are expecting to release Covid-20 Pro in September.
To make extra money, my professor forces all the students to buy his book at the beginning of the term.
My professor puts jokes on the board before class
After the events of Avengers: Endgame, Professor Hulk opened a custom woodworking business
It was called Bruce Banisters
The professor had used the entire blackboard for the lecture
The blackboard is now chalk-full of information
"I'm so sorry, my dog ate my homework." Rolling his eyes, my computer science professor shot back, "Really?! Your dog ate your coding assignment?"
"Well, to be perfectly honest, it did take him a couple bytes."
A man asks a professor, "Do you think Einstein's theory was good?"
The professor replies. "Relatively."
Chemistry professor: It is impossible to be both acidic and basic at the same time.
White girl in the back: Hold my pumpkin spice latte.
My statistics professor told us that the larger the sample size, the more reliable are your averages.
The N’s justify the means.
A college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" yells the blonde girl in the front.
Why do so many people take Professor Fonzarelli’s class?
Did you hear about the professor afraid of negative numbers?
He stops at nothing to avoid them
Did your hear about the professors that went to an island resort to discuss research paper titles?
It was a topical vacation
what was the Nutty Professor's job?
I was in class today and the professor's last name was Sullivan. After class I went to ask him...
"So do you want us to call you Prof S, or...?"
He replied, "Yes, but don't say it like a robot..."
Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
I just dad joked my accounting professor and made her cry from laughing.
Someone asked about extra credit.
Professor: "I'm sorry I don't give extra credit in this class"
Me: "yeah but do you give extra debit?"
What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?
"Don't get the hart before the course!"
My professor's sense of humor.
I am currently dating a math professor. Her name is Ellen.
She is the complete inverse of my e^(x).
Matthew McConaughey is a professor now!! When he gives his students research assignments he instructs them to . . .
All Write!
All Write!
All Write!
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No Time.”
My calculus professor was 16 minutes late to his first class, 8 minutes late to his second, and 4 minutes late to the third.
At this rate, he will never be in class on time.
My math professor was late 16 minutes for the first class, 8 minutes late for the second, and 4 minutes late for the third.
At this rate, he’ll never be in class on time.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What exactly happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
I said to my computer science professor that my dog ate my homework.
When he doubted me, I said, "Well, it took him a couple of bytes."
To make extra money, my university professor makes all his students buy his book at the beginning of the term.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
When the physics lecture ended, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
After the lecture was over, I asked my physics professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. No time.”
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