It’s gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
I just can't put it down.
Absolutely nothing.
It's an autobiography.
Me: What'd you do today?
My toddler: Nothing
Me: Are you sure about that?
My toddler: That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
It was impossible to put down
The librarian said "Sure!! What volume would you like?"
It was about time!!
It's a step by step guide.
So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time."
Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?"
"Well..." the woman says. "A couple things, actually. I noticed you were wearing an Iron Maiden t-shirt. Iron Maiden are my favorite band of all time. When they went on their reunion tour in 1999, my parents took me to see them in Cleveland. I was 12 years old and it was the first concert I ever went to. I absolutely love Iron Maiden."
The man can't believe it.
"I saw them play Cleveland in '99! First concert I ever went to on my own. My best friend Jimmy Spitz and I told our parents we were sleeping at each others' houses, snuck out, took a bus into the city and saw them play at the Plain Dealer Pavillion!"
Naturally, they're both shocked.
"If that isn't weird enough..." says the woman. "I noticed you're reading Mark Twain. I was a communications major in university and I actually wrote my thesis on Mark Twain and how he used satire as a lens to comment on current events of the time, comparing him to satirical news sources of today. He's my favorite author."
Now the man is really taken aback, "Get out of here! I was an English major in university! I specialized in 19th century American literature and this is like my fourth or fifth time reading Tom Sawyer, I absolutely love Mark Twain."
They both can't believe it...this has got to be a match made in heaven.
"Ok..." the woman says. "Well, buckle up because here's the icing on the cake. I noticed you're eating a prune. Prunes are my absolute favorite fruit. When I was a kid, my grandfather lived on a farm. He had an orchard that mainly grew apples and some lemons, but he knew how much my sister and I loved prunes so he kept a couple of plum trees. Every year at the end of the summer, we'd go up and harvest the plums with him. He'd dry them and by the time we'd go back to his place for Thanksgiving he'd always have those prunes saved just for us. They're my favorite fruit! I love prunes, you're eating a prune, this has got to be fate. What do you say?"
The man puts down his fruit and responds,
"It's a date!"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.
Her name is Page Turner.
In the arc-hives!
It was a real page burner
Mein Craft
It’s called War and Peas.
To the Lie-brary!
I thought I lobster, and never flounder.
I guess it’s the beginning of adictionary
I can’t seem to put it down.
I know it was somewhere on this page, but I just can’t put my finger on it.
It caused a title wave!
But it's full of words I've never even herbivore.
It was a very uplifting story. (Courtesy of my 10 year old)
She whispered, "They're right behind you..."
It’s about thyme.
It was shelf defense.
It's only a draft at the moment.
But that’s his story, and he’s sticking to it.
I was so excited to finally this book! It’s a book about anti gravity.
I couldn’t put it down!
I just can’t put it down
"NO, We don't!!!" replies the barman.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
I only have my shelf to blame.
Hebrews
Step 1 Step 2 Step 3 Step 4 ....
Then IT hit me!
I said, “That’s.....a novel idea.”
(credit: Groucho Marx)
It was our last resort...
It's a step by step guide.
I can’t put it down.
I just can’t put it down!
