I appreciate how the Gideons place so many Bibles in hotel rooms.
Someone was giving out bibles for Halloween and I left it on the counter. We aren't religious
Dad joked a guy passing out bibles this weekend...
Walked by one of those guys who's preaching on the street side and passing out bibles to anyone he can.
.
Bible-Dude: Hello sir, would you like a New Testament?
Me: Oh, no thank you, I have an old one at home that works just fine.
.
My wife groaned in appreciation, but Bible-Dude didn't see the humor in it.
Please pray for me since I only believe 12.5% of the Bible.
I ran a marathon with my Bible in my hands.
Now my Psalms are all sweaty.
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible
I guess that makes me an eight-theist
What do you call someone who only believes 12.5% of the Bible?
Most people in the Bible preferred dates...
Most people in the Bible preferred dates...
>!but Lazarus preferred a good raisin!!<
What came before the bible?
The monoble. I'll let you guess what the bible sequel is called.
Explorers found an ancient copy of the bible for blind people.
Just like that, the search for the holy braille is over.
Did you know that one time they bound a bible using the skin from a popes back?
They called it a Papal-Back
So I hired this dude to count people in the Bible for me. How many Noah's are there. How many Moseses. That sort of thing. Well, today, he stopped about halfway through. I'm sad to say that I had to let him go.
I mean, he only had one Job.
Jesus drove a Honda, but never spoke of it.
"For I do not speak of my own accord" John 12:49
Did you know the Bible dictates that the man should always make the morning coffee?
Yep! It says it right here, Hebrews.
What’s sega’s favorite section of the Bible?
If you post a Bible picture on Instagram...
Shirley, Goodness, Mercy, and Will follow you...
Why do they say “amen” instead of “a woman” at the end of songs at church?
‘Cause they’re hymns not hers.
I just got back from surfing and my son handed me a Bible
Tonight my kids read the bible story about Lot's wife turning into a pillar of salt.
I told them, "It's okay, I'm sure she's cured by now."
I just finished reading the bible.
I found the plot very holey.
I just read a book that compares all the different versions of The Bible.
There’s a lot….of cross referencing.
Arkansas is the only state mentioned in the Bible.
“Noah walked out onto the ark and saw....”
I'm disappointed this Bible for the blind isn't called "The Holy Braille"
What joke is a Jehovah Witness’ favorite?
My church has a vegan bible study group
It's called the Church of Seitan
(I am not proud of this. At all. I had to kick myself out.)
What is Jesus favourite sport?
Jesus didn't drive a Honda
Everyone is always saying Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like speaking about it, but methinks he actually drove a Dodge.
The bible does say he was always driving this Demon and that Demon out.
Got the car back from the garage today and the radio now only plays Bible Verses.
Turns out they installed a Catholic Converter
How does Moses comb his hair?
He parts it down the middle.
There’s an early draft of the bible where everyone died in the great flood
that was the end of Noah’s arc
By legalising cannabis and same-sex marriage, we finally interpreted the Bible correctly
A man who lays with another man should be stoned.
Believing only 12.5% of the Bible
Makes you an eighth theist.
Its longer than the bible
I've started a new business where I am building Bible characters from Lego. First up, Isaiah. I hope to make a major prophet.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I bought a book calling itself ‘The Bible of being a self-entitled white woman’
The Bible and the Quran tell us to love each other
The Kamasutra is more specific
Why do alcoholics sing gospel songs and quote Bible scripture when they are drunk?
Because they are filled with spirit!
Credit: https://www.reddit.com/r/Christianity/comments/pe5mo6/why_do_alcoholics_sing_gospel_songs_and_quote/hav070l?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I only believe 12,5% of the bible.
I guess that makes me a eighth-theist
I only believe 12.5% of the bible.
I guess that makes me an eight-theist.
i now believe in 12.5% of the bible
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.
Because I am an eighth-theist.
Women aren't supposed to make coffee. The Bible says..
I just read a long article comparing the different versions of the Bible.
There was a lot of cross referencing.
I only believe in 12.5% of the Bible.
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
I just read a long scholarly article that compares the different versions of the Bible.
Turns out there is a lot of Cross referencing.
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