A man goes to a library and asks for books on paranoia
The librarian whispers "They're right behind you."
I asked the librarian where books about oil were located.
She said try the non-friction section.
A man asks the librarian where he can find books on suicide
The librarian says, no, you'll never return them
I'm reading a book called "The Yellow River"
It's written by I.P. Freely
I asked the librarian if books about paranoia were available.
She looked up and whispered, "They're right behind you".
I once swallowed a book of synonyms.
It’s gave me thesaurus throat I’ve ever had.
Me: "Excuse me, can you show me where the self help books are?"
Librarian: "Well, that would kinda defeat the purpose, don't you think?"
"Have you ready any of Dante's books?" I asked my friend.
"Inferno," he replied.
"OK," I added, "what about just in regular clothes?"
Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone, and I wondered why they were doing that...
I was courageous enough to read a herbs book
I'm reading a book where the main character has a spine injury.
Did you hear they will be handing out Goosebumps books at Oktoberfest?
Just look for the R. L. Stein.
After a bad diy project, a load of books fell on my head.
I have only my shelf to blame.
What do you call a person who sells banned books?
What’s an alcoholic’s favorite book?
I read this really good book
it was called your nearest toilet by Anita.P
At the beginning of the term, my university professor makes all of his students buy the book that he wrote.
I'm starting to write a book about a tornado disaster
It's just a draft at the moment.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend
Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read
I lost one of my wife's audio books.
I know I will never hear the end of it!!
The other day a bunch of books fell down on my head.
I guess I only have my shelve to blame!
Today, I told my son about a book I was reading. It was on how to discharge electricity
He asked me for the name. I told him that the book was called
"Kil-a-watt"
The cabinet I made just collapsed and a bunch of books fell and hit me.
I’ve only got my shelf to blame.
I've booked a nice table for me and my wife this Friday night
I hammered her five frames to nil last time.
A group of friends were walking around the beach looking to find a hotel to stay but they were all booked except for one, one of them said:
"Guys, that's our last resort."
I booked an appointment at the orthopedist for my whole family
Quarantine has allowed me to finish 3 books.
It may not sound like much, but thats a lot of colouring.
Me: I just read a great book on multiple personality disorder...
Also me: I don't think it was that great, and neither do I!
After almost a decade, I’m finally finished with my book about my favorite herb.
I was reading a book on Anti-Gravity
I just couldn't put it down...
I am writing a book about hurricanes and tornadoes....
It's only a draught at the moment.
When I was cleaning my room earlier I found book on anti-gravity...
I couldn't put it down.
As told by my son to my wife just now. The circle is complete.
I'm reading a horror book in braille.
Something bad is going to happen. I can feel it.
Whenever a book publisher refuses to accept my hand-delivered unsolicited autobiography, I usually just squeeze it as hard as I can with my thighs...
so that it's easier to walk away with my tale between my legs.
I went to a bookstore and saw a book titled "How to solve 50% of your problems".
If you were to second guess your decision to book time at a Native American community,
That would be called a reservation reservation reservation
Credit to Brian Regan
LPT: If you are trying to stay in a hotel that’s completely booked, just tell the receptionist that your name is “improvement”.
Because there’s always room for improvement.
How come there are so many people named “Smith” and “Jones” in the phone book?
Because they all have phones.
I just finished reading a book on anti gravity.
I have found a book about a amazing basement.
What do you call a book club that's been stuck on one book for years?
I wrote a book on basements . . . . .
It's on the Best Cellars list
A bunch of books fell on me yesterday, but I couldn’t find anyone at fault in the accident.
I only have my shelf to blame.
Dad why is the book so thick?
I'm putting together a book of tried and true recipes, none of which will include thyme as an ingredient.
>!I've decided the title is going to be 'Thymeless Classics'!<.
How many books can you fit into an empty backpack?
One. Because after that it’s not empty anymore.
So I asked the librarian where were the books on paranoia?
"Right behind you." She whispered.
I asked the librarian where the books on paranoia are kept.
She whispered "They're right behind you".
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