Chess Pun
Did it ever occur to Magnus Carlsen that he could be eliminated from his own chess tournament?
Norway!
At the weekend, I like to play chess with elderly men in the park. But it's becoming increasingly harder..
..to find exactly 32 of them.
I (Australian dad) have been playing chess remotely against my primary school pen-pal (from Czech Republic) for almost 2 decades. I finally beat him yesterday!
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
Why should Australians be banned from international chess tournaments?
Cos they keep saying "check, mate"
Why did the chess master go to Prague?
I'm starting my new job as a human chess piece.
The money is great. I'm on knights next week.
Why it’s hard to teach Aussie’s how to play chess?
Because they think every check is check mate
What did the cow say to the owl when they were playing chess?
The cow said: Moooooooo
The owl asked: who?
I play Chess regularly with my friend, but last time he suddenly said " let's make this interesting "...
..so we stopped and went home.
Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess?
Because he can't decide whether he wants to be black or white
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.
They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer
Why do British chess players always win?
Because their queen never dies
Why can't you play chess in the jungle
Because there are too many cheetahs
Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?
He was always working on his knight moves...
Why do cows never play chess?
Because they can’t make any mooooooooove
A lumberjack beat me in a game of chess
Someone asked if there is a local chess club?
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
Goddamn those big game hunters
I have a friend in Prague who I play chess with.
Why did the chess player worried towards the end of his meal in a restaurant?
Because the waiter said, "CHECK?"
Today I was playing chess and blundered a major piece
A wife came home and finds her husband sitting in front of a game of chess....
...with a raw egg propped up on the other side.
She asks: "What are you doing?"
He responds: "Well this pancake recipe says I need one beaten egg..."
"So... you decided to play it in a chess game?"
"Well yeah, but the darn egg keeps winning!"
I sold a Chess set to my friend. He asked if all the pieces were there.
I played my dad in chess yesterday.
He didn't think he would win, but he just wanted to check.
Why did the lonely chess player go to Czechoslovakia?
Because he wanted a Czech mate!
I thought I checkmated my dad with my new glass set in chess...
But he saw right through it
A man from Prague and his friend were playing chess at a restaurant when an Australian waiter interrupts their game. The waiter says, "have a check, mate. Your Czech mate is about to be in checkmate... oh, and here's the cheque, mate."
My best friend lives in Prague and is a real chess enthusiast.
I call him my Czech mate.
Did you hear about the Slovak chess player who finaly found a wife?
What did the Australian chess player say after he finished his meal?
"Can I have the check, mate?"
The King gathered all the chess pieces around to tell a bedtime story. He said...
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Not to brag, but I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
What do you call a chess club bragging about their wins in a hotel lobby?
Chessnuts boasting in an open foyer
What do you call a bunch of chess nerds bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.
How could you describe a group of chess grandmasters bragging about their skills in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
I've just been offered a job as a human chess piece...
The money is good.
I'm on knights this week.
Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said "Let's make this interesting"
I met some chess players in the hotel lobby. They were bragging about how good they are.
It was Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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