Her: Hey, what's up? Me: Oh, just going into the [nervously glancing at store sign] -4
......I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.
But in the end it doesn’t even matter.
He kept getting attacked by the ducks. I guess that's what happens when you have a pure bread dog.
He was bloody useless. I think I need a flatter dog.
Big if true.
To get to the other rides!
Psychiatrist: That is the strangest case of parking sons disease I have come across so far.
He runs a lab there
The sign said fine for parking.
Craaaaaaawling in my kin. . .
Nothing, it’s on the house.
I hope I get lucky and she takes my kid for a few hours.
They left a sweet note on my windshield that said “parking fine.”
It got toad
I told my wife they were having a plow-wow.
Barely a chuckle. sigh
My sons are three and one so they had no idea what I was talking about.
Had to share with some other fellow dad joke enthusiasts.
That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.
The trailers look amazing.
Half a second later the poor animal got introduced to the sole of her shoe 😜
I guess that’s what he gets for buying a pure-bread dog.
Have you heard about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?
it is said that he won the no bell prize
Doyouthinkhesaurus
Edit: I definitely forgot this came from Jurassic Park. So credit goes to that. But it’s still funny.
They were both Great Danes.
..Indian. It doesn't even matter.
We’ll never know, it’s a paradox.
to find exactly 32 of them..
Because I want validation.
A rollerghoster
💀💀
In desperation, he begins to pray, "Dear Lord, if you help me find a parking space right now, I promise to go to church every Sunday and never drink again."
A moment later, he sees an empty spot right next to the entrance. So he again says, "Never mind. Found one."
While she's sitting there, she sees a young man who's jogging while eating a popsicle. All of a suddent, he begins to choke on his popsicle. The woman calls out to him, asking if he needs help, but the man quickly stops coughing, and gives her a thumbs up; indicating that he's fine.
About twenty minutes later, the young man passes by her again, now eating a hotdog. Just as before, he begins to choke on his hotdog. The woman calls to him, but again, the man gives her thumbs up, and confirms he's fine.
Another twenty minutes pass, and the young man once again jogs past her, while eating a bag of chips, where he, once again, begins to choke. He again assures the woman that he's fine, but this time, the woman decides enough is enough.
"This is the third time this has happened!" She screams. "Why can't you just sit down to eat?"
The man gives her a smile, and replies. "Because, ma'am, I'm a running gag."
Wake him up!
And additionally a pinch of driving skills
Then it hit me
Because that’s your own asphalt
Its just wrong on so many levels
Wife: That's steep!
Me: I know. What a hike!
Wife: Uggghhh
Me: What? I was just following your lead.
A conversation we had at breakfast this morning lol
But in the end, it doesn't even matter
To get to the other slide.
Nothing, it's on the house.
Toad!
