My wife suggested we should try some role reversal in bed....
I suggested a new name for the planet Saturn to an astrophysicist and he seemed to like it
He said it had a nice ring to it.
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.
He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”
(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)
Since this is a “Nana” tree (common name for Juniperus Procumens Green Mountain Juniper bonsai), it was suggested I have a “ba”. Therefore, since the stock ticker for Boeing is BA, I bought a toy 787. That means there is now a “banana” on the counter.
Had too many drinks at the pub last night, so the lads suggested I leave the car there and take the bus home.
Turns out I was in no fit state to drive it home either.
Had a really tough day today. I figured you would appreciate that my wife suggested I peruse r/dad jokes while she drew me a relaxing bath.
I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.
My daughter asked where her toy Cryolophosaurus might be. I suggested...
"Maybe the Mesozoic Era?"
A friend suggested I added herbs to my soup.
One of my friends recently told me he’s bored and looking for a fun new hobby. I suggested getting involved in political protesting.
I suggested to my wife that we make some Indian bread for a group dinner appetizer.
It was a total naan starter.
I suggested to the national park service we release clay pigeons back into the wild.
That idea was immediately shot down
Friend suggested I post to this subreddit, my response...
How did the woman react when the doctor suggested she have a brain biopsy?
She gave him a piece of her mind.
After hearing me sing for the first time, my music teacher suggested that I should be tenor.
Ten or twelve feet away from her at all times.
Someone suggested I post it here.
My son suggested to my parents that they should adopt twin girls. I said,
"Do you want aunts? Cause that's how you get aunts!"
My husband suggested we get a repeater to improve our router signal...
Me: A what?
Him: A repeater.
Me: dramatic eyebrow wiggling with shit eating grin
Him: Oh my god.
My dad suggested I travel the world to discover more about myself.
So I went Seoul searching.
Someone suggested I leave this here. Email from my dad this morning.
I was in Bangkok with my wife recently. I suggested we check out one of the many temples.
She said “wat pho?”
And I said “idk just to get a little culture?”
After a world-renowned athlete lost an important match, his wife suggested that in the future he wear a pair of her panties in his shoes for good luck to boost his confidence.
He’s been undie-feeted ever since.
I asked my friend if he knew a pachyderm famous for its trunk. He suggested Dumbo.
But that was Ear-Elephant.
My wife suggested that I try a blindfold, but I decided not to.
I just couldn’t see myself wearing it.
My daughter's baby wouldn't eat any of its dinner, so I suggested, "Try the airplane!"
She looked at me confused and asked, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980's, but that's not important right now!"
I was asking my wife for some work out tips, she suggested I try lunges
I thought, that's a big step.
A friend suggested trying a local honey for my allergies. So I did that.
Now my wife wants a divorce.
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
Someone suggested I get a lobotomy
Trying to stay open minded
I wanted to start a creative writing class at a prison but my wife suggested we talk about it first.
We needed to discuss the prose and cons.
I couldn’t think of what to put here, so my friend suggested brainstorming
I said it was a shockingly good idea
My kids just got a new puppy that is scared of every appliance in the house, and one in particular. I suggested they name him “Nature.”
Because nature abhors a vacuum
My wife made a PB&J protein shake and asked what I thought. I suggested she add regular kitchen spices.
Then she could have peanut butter jelly thyme!
My wife suggested I wash the car with our son
I told her a sponge would be better.
When I suggested to my wife we used a strap on, she was right behind me.
I asked my wife if she knew what kind of car I drove before we met...(x-post from r/funny because someone suggested it)
Her: "No, what kind?"
Me: "I drove a Toyota, Pre-us."
Kids wanted to watch a new anime, so I suggested...
Kid 1: Let's watch -Japanese name of some anime-
Kid 2: No, let's watch -Japanese name of some other anime-
Me: Let's watch Supphomi!
Kid 2: "What the hell is Suppho... (realization dawns) mi..."
Me: NOT MUCH HOMIE, WHAT THE HELL 'SUP WITH YOU?!
My wife suggested we follow some Marie Kondo tips to tidying up our home
I asked her if we should wait for the townhouse version
Do y’all think, when the name Jupiter was suggested, someone said it had a nice ring to it?
/r/mildlyinteresting suggested I post this here. The service lift at work is made by Schindler. Schindlers Lift.
imgur.com/OLsOw
My dad ran over a cat one day. I suggested he scrape it off the road and put it's rear on the wall.
Because it was his Cat-Ass-Trophy
So I suggested that we learn about Kendrick Lamar in English...
The teacher said, "no, you're gonna study Ozymandias, ya Bysshe."
Brewed some beer, and my girlfriend suggested this name
Take some peppermint from my garden, My Father in Law suggested
"It needs to be used before it goes bad."
Mr.Brotato responds: "Would you say it's no longer in....mint condition?"
It is suggested that women over the age of 55 get a mammogram every 2 years.
Shouldn’t men be recommended to get sirograms?
Apparently if you eat a polar bear's liver you'll get sick from too much vitamin A; someone suggested testing this so I called the butcher and asked them to send some over...
...But unfortunately they said they don't deliver polar bear.
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