I wrote down the names of all the people I hate on a piece of paper, but my roommate used it roll up a joint.
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to talk to again.
I wrote down all of the things my wife wants me to buy from the produce section at the grocery store...
My professor wrote on his syllabus "If anyone asks me how I'm doing, my answer will always be 'I am great, how are you?'"
So when we ask him how he's doing, his answer is "It's on the syllabus".
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex
But my wife insists it's for Dyslexia
While doing a crossword, the cyclops asked his wife, "How do you spell Hawaii?" Glancing at what he wrote, she replied, "You need two i’s."
Cyclops growled, "My life is just a big joke to you, isn’t it!?"
I wrote an epic poem with only one line.
It's in celebration of the universe.
I wrote a ballad about tortillas.
I recently wrote a paper about erotic photography of plants
I wrote a book about armadillo shells the other day
Did you hear Elliott Page wrote a book about him changing his pronoun?
I wrote an essay in highschool about lottery winners who ended up losing. Apparently I thought this was way funnier than it is.
I was part of a class and i total , we were 100 students. I walked up to the front of the class , and wrote :"balloons" on the white board. So...
The other 99 read balloons.
Just got an epic eye roll for this: My son was showing me his school work from math, where he was learning fractions. I pointed to where he wrote his name on a line at the top and asked what that fraction was.
I told him it should be {Sons Name} / Mommy. Since he came from her.
Then I said he could reduce that fraction further since he came from his mommy, that fraction would equal....
One Whole
if you wrote an essay about why capitalism was bad
would you gain or lose marks for not using capital letters...?
He was sentenced to drinking spruce tea or leaving for 6 months because he was teaching the youth how to be passive-aggressive. His disciple Playdoh wrote half a screenplay about him before giving up and finding a real job.
Who wrote a textbook for the serious seamstress?
My son wrote s symphony about not caring if your car's tire has no air...
It's written in the key of B flat.
Who wrote the song: "All I want for exile, is you"
I wrote a poem the other day...
I dig, he digs, she digs.
She digs, I dig, he digs.
It’s not great, but it’s deep.
I wrote a bad joke on a piece of paper
The author of Webster's dictionary committed suicide with the book he wrote.
At least he died on his own terms.
I wrote to the Vice President to ask him to overturn the election results...
But that's just my own To Pence.
I wrote a book about how convicted felons can use fiction writing to work through their experiences and achieve better rehabilitation outcomes.
It's called, "Prose and Cons".
I wrote a song about a tortilla
Actually it’s more of a wrap
My cat wrote a joke today
Coz he was in a good mew-ood
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
I wrote a haiku...
Well, really, more like a pun,
Leaving. A “bye-ku”
There once was a record store. The owner was seventy-four. One day he fell ill then wrote in his will , “bury me with records galore”
It was his vinyl resting place
I wrote a rap song about Voltron
Let me break it down lion by lion
TIL Elton John wrote an unreleased song about his short-lived affair with the lead actor in "Who's The Boss?"
He called it, "Hold Me Closer, Tony Danza"
Just wrote a book about falling down the stair case
It's a step-by-step guide
Friend wrote it on the back of her test
Somebody wrote a quote at the bottom of the pool.
I wrote 7 letters to the Governor yesterday.
My friend got married so I wrote her a poem regarding what she meant to me...
Did you know that the guy who wrote the famous scene in 300 was Canadian?
He was like "that's what I'm talkin a'boot!" kicks
I wrote a card for my friend who just graduated high school and wants to study geology and/or paleontology in college. She also likes puns :)
Americans love frozen fruit so much, they wrote it into the constitution...
The 1st amendment is the right to freeze peach.
I wrote an article on pillows
It was really just a fluff piece
I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels
She said, “Try Sarah Topps”
I wrote some new jokes and they’re all about butter.
They’re margarinely funny.
My mother’s leg was amputated 2 years ago. I wrote this punderful post to make her smile. It was more than successful and also impressed her doctor.
Kid wrote an essay about cheese.
They knew what they were doing when they wrote this headline..
I wrote an article about replacing noisy light bulbs with quiet LED ones. I found a fitting title as well.
I wrote down the names of all the people I hate, but my roommate used the paper to roll up his joint
Now he’s high on the list of people I never want to see again.
I just wrote a song about tortillas...
actually it’s more like a wrap
I wrote down the names of everyone I hate on a piece of paper, and my roommate used that to roll his joint.
He’s now high on the list of people I never want to see again.
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