Do u know how the roman empire was cut in half?-------How?-------With a pair of Caesars!!!!
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︎ Sep 27 2020
What do you call a smart pair of pants?
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︎ Dec 15 2020
I bought a pair of shoes from this drug dealer yesterday
I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping the whole day.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar
The bartender said "I'll serve you, BUT DON'T START ANYTHING!"
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Which TV show pair has the best chemistry?
Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I recently bought a new pair of Orpothedic shoes
Doctor: No, it's pronounced 'Orthopedic'
Me: Ah, I stand corrected
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︎ Dec 02 2020
Why does a golfer always wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one.
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︎ Nov 02 2020
I bought a new pair of gloves today...
...but they're both "lefts". Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
What do you call a pair of shoes ?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Why did the golfer have an extra pair of trousers?
In case he got a hole in one!
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︎ Nov 22 2020
What do you call a pair of docs?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
Why did the woman break up with the man that had 5 pairs of legs?
He brought tension to the relationship
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︎ Oct 22 2020
Vin Diesel should commission a heraldic crest under his first name, a pair of snakes intertwined with fangs bared...
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︎ Oct 12 2020
How do you optimize a pair brainstorm?
You blow into you partners ear
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︎ Nov 02 2020
Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains.
Doctor:- Pull your self together!
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Son: Dad what are you going to do today? Dad: Well first I'm going to get a pair of glasses. Son: And after that?
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︎ Sep 12 2020
If you go golfing, make sure to wear two pair of pants
In case you get a hole in one
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︎ Aug 07 2020
I have a joke about a dull pair of scissors ...
But Iβm afraid it ainβt gonna cut it.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
Mom: Put a pair of normal shorts on.
Son: No I donβt like ghosts.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
An ancient Greek walks into his tailorβs shop with a pair of torn pants.
ββEuripidesββ says the tailor. ββYeah, Eumenides?ββ replies the man.
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︎ Aug 30 2020
Maybe a pair would be enough.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
If you throw a pair of fins in water, they'll float. But if you throw one Fin in the water
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︎ Jun 19 2020
Iβve been wanting to go ice skating for a while. My friends bought me a pair of skates recently, but they broke on the first use!
If you ask me, theyβre cheapskates.
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I was surprised about a pair of sunglasses on the road today
I got them for free, but that's way below street value
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︎ Aug 12 2020
No one laughs at my βbring an extra pair of pants when you go golfingβ joke.
I guess βhole-in-oneβ jokes are sub-par.
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︎ Jul 11 2020
A pair of underwear walked into the bar, ordered a drink, and began to tell the bartender a story. He went on and on and on.
The bartender interrupted him and said, "Hey can you make this brief?"
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︎ Jun 25 2020
I have an ugly, tight pair of shorts that I only wear when every other pair is dirty.
Theyβre my last re-shorts!
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︎ Jun 27 2020
I had to get a new pair of scissors today
The old ones just weren't cutting it
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︎ Jul 02 2020
I have a pair of slip-on sandals for housework and another pair of slip-on sandals for yardwork.
I refer to them as my In-slides and my Out-slides.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
What do you call a pair of backup AirPods?
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︎ Jun 24 2020
To save money I made myself a pair of glasses out of 2 old ketchup bottles.
In Heinz-sight I should have just bought a proper pair
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︎ Dec 29 2019
Congratulate us - my wife and I just bought our first pair of recliners!
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︎ Jul 09 2020
This is (practically) the corniest gift imaginable. At the bottom of the soon to be gift wrapped box of corniness was a pair of Korn tickets for my lady...who enjoys my corny puns.
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︎ Jan 25 2020
what is the scientific word for a pair of jeans?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
As a golfer, it's always better to wear 2 pairs of trousers
You know, in case you get a hole in 1
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︎ Apr 23 2020
What do you call it when a pair of tropical birds do a French dance?
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︎ May 15 2020
Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? π For the Pair Of Medics
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants
In case they get a hole in one
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︎ Aug 31 2020
I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer.
I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day.
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︎ Sep 23 2020
Why do golfers wear two pairs of socks ?
In case they get a hole in one !
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︎ Sep 07 2020
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.
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︎ Jul 08 2020
I took two pairs of socks golfing
In case I got a hole in one
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︎ Jan 06 2020
Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains
Doctor: Then pull yourself together
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︎ Aug 21 2020
I always take an extra pair of socks when I go golfing
In case I get a hole in one
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︎ May 02 2020
Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: In case he got a hole in one.
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︎ Jun 11 2020
Why do younever buy a pair of shoes from a drug dealer?
Because you don't know what he laces them with and you'll be tripping all day.
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︎ Feb 22 2020
Whenever I go golfing, I bring an extra pair of pants
Just in case I get a hole in one
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︎ Jul 03 2020
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