True story: eggcellent yokes

My son and I love good egg pun Dad jokes. We got it going the other day and my wife rolled her eyes. He asked her, "which joke didn't you like?"

She replied "all ovum"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/erleichda70-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Why was the chef arrested?

He was caught beating an egg.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Why don't eggs tell jokes?

They'd crack each other up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nitevid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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Why don't eggs like jokes?

the crack up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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How do duck dads entertain their eggs?

With dad yokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jspittman
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Eggcellence
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πŸ‘€︎ u/awells1012
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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A Carton of Eggs... I mean... A Cartoon of Eggs
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iziahzay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2019
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Why do chicken coops only have two doors?

Because if they had four they’d be a chicken sedan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noah_S152298
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Today I have outdone myself

Today I have outdone myself. When asking my sister how her day went, she said that she learned how to cook an omelet today and she said she did really well on it. I then said "next time, omelet you cook breakfast." I swear the look of disgust on her face could turn milk sour, and I couldn't be any prouder of myself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoinBowen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2015
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I've decided to go on the Gaston diet

The one where you eat dozens of eggs for breakfast.

I'm trying to get yoked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YoureAMuenster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
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They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!

I prefer mine poached

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiacTD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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Have you ever heard the joke about eggs?

There's a dozen of them! They'll crack you up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaitlin_h
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2017
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SO was looking to liven up breakfast

Her: "I've just found a page with hundreds of omelette recipes!"

Me: "Well you'd better get cracking then."

Thank you one and all, first time I felt I had something worthy to submit here.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pseudogentry
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2015
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What do you call a race between eggs?

A running yoke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onegonethusband
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2017
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At IHOP the other day...

Me: "hey, how's the omelet, babe?"

Gf: "it's good, a little cheesy though"

Me: "yeah, they usually have better jokes"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/veterejf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2014
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Thought I'd share my poem about how dad jokes are made.

I have a theory

That you must tell no one,

About the way

That dads make a pun.

It all starts out

With an underground meeting:

7:30 on Mondays,

With limited seating.

They talk and converse

To say their new jokes,

Like

"I'm all out of whites,

But got plenty of yokes!"

From there they spread

To dads far and wide,

For use on their kids,

All mercy aside.

There's no way to stop it,

Believe me, I've tried.

The only thing that can help

Is to plug your ears, and hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bramsayma
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2015
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