My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
....and the second one Duplikate.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
I've been having an affair with my wife's siamese twin.
We're doing it behind her front.
My friend told me, “Your wife and daughter look like twins!”
I said, “Well, they were separated at birth.”
I have a twin brother in prison
We finish each other's sentences.
Twin brothers just had a birthday
One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.
(Trust me it works when you say it out loud)
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.
Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.
Their names are Sam and Ella.
My friend Jay recently had twins, and want to name them after him.
So I suggested Kay and Elle.
What did the Hispanic firefighter name his twin sons?
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.
Womb-mates is an acceptable term for twins
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!
For now, they're just cell mates.
My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.
I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.
What do you call conjoined twins that have emotionally bonded?
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.
I guess.... we are raised differently.
My sister had twins, a boy and a girl, and asked for help naming them.
She liked my suggestion of calling the girl Denise, but had second thoughts when I suggested calling the boy Danephew.
A man called his twin brother from prison
“Hey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”
A lot of people can't understand why Daniel Day Lewis's twin brother Daniel Night Lewis didn't make it in the movies.
That's because the difference between them is night and day.
My twin preschool boys were playing with foam letters in the bathtub.
One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.
So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".
Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
What are male twins inside a pregnant woman called?
How did mama Moose differentiate between her twin son Moose?
What did the drummer call his twin sons?
My kids were watching a show about identical twins re-united after being separated at birth, and in disbelief that they were wearing matching outfits when they met up.
I said, well, they do have the same genes.
If I were doing any better, I’d be twins. Then again...
If I were twins, I’d be beside myself.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
What do you call twins who live together?
While giving birth to a set of twins, the mother losses consciousness.
The doctor called in the woman’s brother from the waiting room and asked if he would like to name the children. The brother agrees.
When the mother wakes up, the doctor informs her that her brother has named the children while she was unconscious.
She said “Oh no... my brother is an idiot. What did he name the kids?”
The doctors replied “Well, the girl’s name is Denise!”
“Oh, that’s not so bad! And the boy?”
“Denephew”
If you are taking a calculus exam, don’t sit between two identical twins.
It’s very difficult to differentiate between them.
If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate
And I'll name the other DupliKate
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......
...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So, I have an uncle once removed.
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....
........and the second one DupliKate.
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill
The second one is Doubill
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
I have an uncle, once removed.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
If I ever have twin daughters...
I'll name them Kate & Duplikate.
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