My father was a conjoined twin.

His brother was my uncle on my fathers side once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/banditk77
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the conjoined twins that got fired from the FBI?

they were double agents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vuksin
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Never take a calculus exam when you are sitting next to two identical twins.

It’s really hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2021
🚨︎ report
George Clooney has a twin brother. Do you know what his name is?

George Cloney.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoriatis71
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Twins

Tito and Alex were talking about their families. Tito asked Alex if he had any children. Alex replied” yes, I have identical twin sons named Amal and Juan” . Tito asked Alex if he had any pictures of his sons. Alex produced a single picture and said” this is a picture of Juan”. Tito asked Alex if he had a picture of Amal. Alex replied”no, if you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WaterBoarder1969
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
What's another name for twins?

Wombmates

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aliwalisaurus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the favorite day of the week for twins?

Twos-day

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend told me, β€œYour wife and daughter look like twins!”

I said, β€œWell, they were separated at birth.”

πŸ‘︎ 24k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .

People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.

Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenFranksta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Lots of people know about Harley Quinn but very few people have heard about her twin brother who was stillborn...

Manny Quinn

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....

....and the second one Duplikate.

πŸ‘︎ 484
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 244
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
So a mom and dad walk up to the register at work today holding baby twins.

I asked the mother if it was hard giving birth to two babies in one day.

She looked me dead in the eyes with a straight face and said, pointing at her husband, "not really. I had one and he had the other"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I know twin EMTs

You might say they are a paramedics

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a waffle's evil twin?

Its alter Eggo

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motobuddha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did one twin refuse to live with his brother?

Because he was a terrible womb-mate.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jill_of_the_Hill
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call identical twins that join the police force?

Copies.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlafThePeach
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I've been having an affair with my wife's siamese twin.

We're doing it behind her front.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Twin brothers just had a birthday

One turned twenty. The other turned twenty too.

(Trust me it works when you say it out loud)

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Different_Ad953
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna1 Anna2

πŸ‘︎ 584
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mpschmidtlein
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a twin brother in prison

We finish each other's sentences.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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My friend Jay recently had twins, and want to name them after him.

So I suggested Kay and Elle.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I read a story about twin brothers born with a single body and shared organs.

Age 6 they were separated in a successful 13hr surgery. Later in life they went to prison for armed robbery. They served 10yrs. Afterwards they wrote their book about being ex-con joined twins.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshWithaQ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
A man called his twin brother from prison

β€œHey remember when we were kids and use to finish each other’s sentences?”

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lazydoodlelol
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My twins give me chills, dehydration, fatigue, fever, loss of appetite, and extreme diarrhea.

Their names are Sam and Ella.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anddditburns
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin sister always takes the stairs, but I prefer taking the elevator.

I guess.... we are raised differently.

πŸ‘︎ 358
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Hispanic firefighter name his twin sons?

Hose-A and Hose-B

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/b0kch0y14
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Womb-mates is an acceptable term for twins
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvl100mafia_boss
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My twin preschool boys were playing with foam letters in the bathtub.

One happened to put the letter T into a toy stacking cup I was holding. I tried to give it to him but he didn't want it.

So I turned to my other son and said, "Hmm, guess it's not his cup of T".

Neither 3yo got it so I had to tell someone.

πŸ‘︎ 412
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just found out she will be giving birth to twins in 9 months!

For now, they're just cell mates.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/7_Pillars
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just had twins so I invited him to join the group.

He is now a Pa Pa

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Greystone_86
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.

I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2021
🚨︎ report
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....

......and the second one Duplikate.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
If I have twin daughters, I'll name one Kate

And I'll name the other DupliKate

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Salman_R
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mum only carries one photo......

...... because if you’ve seen Juan you’ve seen Amal

πŸ‘︎ 336
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GrazingGiraffe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at work.

So, I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
🚨︎ report
If I ever had identical twin daughters, I'd name the first one Kate....

........and the second one DupliKate.

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.

Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

So, I have an uncle once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's the name of Kate's identical twin?

Duplikate

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.

I have an uncle, once removed.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had twins I'd name the first one Bill

The second one is Doubill

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report

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