Just received Twin Peaks and the "missing pieces"
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/meemboy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Four men are sitting in a hospital waiting room because their wives are all giving birth,

A nurse comes up to the first man and says, โ€œCongratulations! You are the proud father of a pair of twins!โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s funny...โ€ the man said, โ€œI work for Twin Peaks!โ€

Another nurse comes into the room and goes to the second man and says, โ€œCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to triplets!โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s funny...โ€ the second man said, โ€œ I work for the 3M company!โ€

Yet another nurse comes into the room and says to the third man, โ€œCongratulations! Your wife has just given birth to quadruplets!โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s so funny...โ€ said the third man, โ€œI work at the Four Seasons Hotel!โ€

The last man is groaning and whining in obvious agony, โ€œWhatโ€™s wrong?โ€ the other men ask.

โ€œI work at Seven Eleven.โ€ He replied.

Happy Fathers Day!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/NighTraiN7804
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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"No, that's..."

My dad used to play a game with me and my brother that was, in effect, an extended dad joke.

The "beginner" version, when I was younger, was when I would be talking about something, my dad would intentionally misinterpret it so that we could correct him. The objective being to keep up the misinterpretation in as long of a chain as possible.

Me: "Dad! Top Gun is on TV!"

Dad: "Doesn't that movie have that whiny folk singer on the radio in it?"

Me: "...No, dad, that's Tom Petty, not Tom Cruise."

Dad: "Oh, I thought he was Rosanne Barr's husband?"

Me: "No, dad, that's Tom Arnold, not Tom Petty."

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..."

Later, once I figured it out, we moved to "advanced mode", where we skip the "correction" and just prove that you catch the reference by making another error in response.

Dad: "Oh. I thought he was that golfer..." (Arnold Palmer)

Me: "...wait, I thought that was the victim in Twin Peaks?" (Laura Palmer)

Dad: "...no, you're thinking of the lady who was the actress in Jurassic Park." (Laura Dern)

And so on. Did anyone else's dad's do something like this? Or any current dads? I currently play a version of this with my wife where she'll put on the radio and I'll intentionally misinterpret the artist. (Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody is playing, I comment to the effect of "God, I love Styx. Such a great song.")

๐Ÿ‘︎ 42
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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2015
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Titties

So my girlfriend likes to talk in a baby voice sometimes. I don't mind it and find it fairly cute. Well she's been wanting to go get a kitten and every time she mentions is she says it as "can we go look at titties today?" Instead of kitties. Well I woke her up and in her half asleep voice she asks me

"Can we go look at titties today?"

I say "sure, we'll go to the shelter later."

And she responds "Hooters or twin peaks?"

It took me a minute but she definitely got me on this one.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Draked1
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2016
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Halloween costume

So I'm going as Disgust from Inside Out for Halloween this year. It is something my daughter will love and it's easy enough to just dress up in green. I've known for over a month now.

But earlier today, the day before Halloween, my man decides to tell me he wants to do a couples costume from Twin Peaks. I get frustrated and say, "Why? You've known for a while I'm going as disgust. I have it all planned."

He replies, "Really babe, I don't remember this being something we ever... discussed."

My inner Anger is enraged.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/pickle_lady
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 31 2015
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