What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?
when I was a child we were so poor that my mother made us clothes out of the scraps my dad would bring home from work at the sandpaper factory
When my parents would go to the bar, my dad would always carry his drink to the table in his left hand and my mother’s in the other. I finally asked him why...
And he said, “Because your mother is always right.”
What did the mother airplane say to the child airplane when the child was acting high and mighty?
"I've had it with your altitude"
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out identity theft is a crime
What do you call the wife of an elephant’s mother’s brother?
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
My mother is much smaller than me. I'm not sure how tall she is...
...But I know she's the minimum height.
Dear Mother in law...Don't teach me how to bring up my children...
I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
What do you call the Mini-Me of your mother?
How I Met Your Mother was just
I was really moved when I realized my mother let me win at cards.
It meant a great deal to me.
Your mother is iron man. How do I know?
I apologise if this isn't allowed.
New to this subreddit. I know the point of this thing is to share funny jokes, but since I'm a newbie I hope you'll allow me this one opportunity to make a serious but friendly PSA: If you're lucky enough to have a father, don't take him for granted. Even when they scold or punish you, trust their judgement, it's likely for good reason even if you can't see it at the time. When I was a child I narrowly avoided a horrific accident in which 4 of my friends were electrocuted at a playground we used to play on every day after school. I used to hate my old man for being so strict and disciplining me when all of my friends got to run wild, but if it weren't for him I definitely would have been electrocuted too that day. But I wasn't. I was grounded.
What did the mother melon say to her daughter when she wanted to run away to get married?
I took out my mother in law yesterday
Being a sniper is so much fun
A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.
What's another word in a thesaurus for 'mother' ?
Can't say. Mum's the word.
My mother's zodiac was Cancer, which is ironic
because she died from a giant crab.
The cannibal said to his mother, "I don't like my vegetables."
Mother says, "well, just eat your wife."
How do one-armed mothers raise their kids?
What did the Indian say to his mother after leaving Bombay?
When does a joke become a dad joke ?
When it leaves and never comes back
What do you call a father or a mother who's kid looks a lot like them ?
What did the British guy tell his Indian mother when he was going to leave?
What does your mother's sister eat when she's mad?
You have your mother in law, father in law, son in law doughter in law but your wife is
What did the psychic say to her mother at the shady auto dealership?
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
My children got their good looks from their mother.
I met your mother on a dating site.
I don't know, we just clicked.
My mother will not stop complaining about her stairlift.
She tells me the thing is driving her up the wall.
A little girl turns to her mother and asks, "What is that rasta man cooking behind us?"
The mother turns around to look and says, "I don't know sweetie. What Jamaican?"
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
How does a nurse greet a mother about to give birth?
Labor & delivery at your cervix!
A mother was bribing her little boy with a quarter so he could behave..
“Why do I always have to pay you to be good”
Why can’t you be a good for nothing like your dad
A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says we don't serve food here
Nate's mother asked him to delay the marriage by an year...
she wanted his fiance to mari_nate.
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
Dear Mother in law,
Don't teach me how to bring up my children. I'm living with one of yours and she needs a lot of improvement.
The show "How I Met Your Mother" was just
What do you call a midgets mother?
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
It turns out that identity theft is a crime.
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