A hypnotist once convinced me that I was a soft malleable metal with the atomic number of 82.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jun 06 2021
Two cats are on a metal roof. Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest ΞΌ
π︎ 24
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
What makes music heavy metal?
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 24 2021
Adjective for metal is metallic
But not so for iron which is ironic
π︎ 174
π
︎ Feb 21 2021
How did the orchestra attract heavy metal fans?
π︎ 108
π
︎ Mar 23 2021
Did you hear about the metal shipment that was late?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
π︎ 206
π
︎ Dec 15 2020
I had a bunch of metal pipes inside of me after my lung transplant.
Guess they got the wrong organ donor.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
What's the difference between a vacation and metal earplugs?
One is o-cation-al and the other is quiet off tin.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
π︎ 166
π
︎ Dec 25 2020
I used to get small shocks every time I touched metal objects, but I don't anymore.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 07 2021
I like to listen to music as I fall asleep, so I tuned the radio to the Metal station
I've always been a heavy sleeper.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 05 2021
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
Our first single is "Bread or Alive."
π︎ 79
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Why do fairies burn when in contact with metal?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 20 2021
Iβve got a device consisting of a circular canopy of pink fish on a folding metal frame supported by a central rod, used as protection against rain.
Now I have salmonella.
(Iβm sorry, itβs a fishy joke)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Metal Fan
π︎ 23
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
What kind of net catches metal?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 06 2021
In Yosemite, I once found a chunk of metal that was more dense in the center of it.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
My favorite part of the morning is the sound of pouring coffee into my metal thermos
Itβs the little tings in life, ya know?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
Why did the metal like the magnet?
Because it was attractive
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 25 2021
2 metal workers got married....
It was a beautiful welding.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
i am deaf on both ears after working at the metal factory
I guess heavy metal is not good for my ears
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 05 2020
A huge metal fan
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Nov 25 2019
Studying Chemistry at the moment, I just learned that Sulphuric acid should never be left in a metal beaker..
..It's an oxidant waiting to happen.
π︎ 49
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together
At first itβs boring and then itβs Riveting!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
I had a few doubts about buying a big metal cabinet to store all my valuables.
Turns out...it was a safe purchase.
π︎ 114
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Metal fan
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Oct 12 2019
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 05 2020
How do you know all woodpeckers love heavy metal music?
Because theyβre all head bangers. (Credit to my 11 year old).
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
Harry Houdini was allergic to the metal they used to make handcuffs...
Every time they put a pair on him, he'd break out.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 12 2020
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Hi a huge metal fan, I'm dad
π︎ 104
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
I ordered some big metal letters.
I wanted to make a sign that said "YOU & ME". So, I ordered some big metal letters.
When they arrived, the box was very damaged. I checked if everything was there, but the iron E was lost on me.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
Work pun regarding a dewar (large metal tank used for liquid nitrogen)
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 16 2020
The Three States of Metal Gear.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
What have you got to add to metal to get heavy metal?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Huge metal fan!
π︎ 45
π
︎ Jun 07 2020
Mike Tyson gifted little metal cups to his friends...
When they asked what it meant, he said it was a thimble of friendship!
π︎ 69
π
︎ Jun 05 2020
Rusted Metal!
π︎ 50
π
︎ Feb 18 2020
Iβm not into Metal Bands....
...just into Rubber Bands!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 24 2020
Trash metal, anyone?
π︎ 37
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
What's Santa's favourite metal band?
π︎ 61
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
The corresponding adjective for "metal" is "metallic"
But that's not the case for "iron", which is ironic.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
