I said "Nah, I'll probably just put it up in the living room"
It was a tiramisunami
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
“There was a schism in the chasm.”
It was a real He-Shed She-Shed situation.
it was 100 feet long
She was crying because she doesn't like grapes.
Everyone looked really fly...
also there was a massive line for the cloakroom.
A meowtain.
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean!
It's a massive emotional wrench.
Massively Multiprayer Online
I thought, 'That's the biggest wave I've ever seen!'
Then I stopped collecting them
I'm an ex tractor fan
We've made a massive mistake
One man was left in a korma ....
Dad joke no. 67 copyright Crap Dad Jokes
I made Massachusetts live up to its name.
I think everyone should Romaine calm.
Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.
But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."
It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.
You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.
In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.
This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un
... keep reading on reddit ➡My son's been drinking whisky that's only aged for two years.
He's the dumbest thirteen-year-old I've ever met.
I think he ran some ware
Since he started dating, his girlfriend would chastise him to great lengths everytime he felt the need to fart.
After they got married, the situation was maintained. He couldn't possibly fart near his wife. Sometimes he had to leave the house, just to pass some gas.
When he was really old, he died peacefully during in his sleep while lying on his back. She called the undertaker, so the arrangements for the funeral could be made.
When the undertaker rolled the man of the bed, there was a massive fart. The undertaker looked to the now widow to see how she was going to react, but she simply said:
"No need to chastise him anymore. Hee can RIP in Peace!"
It was a massive shock to the cistern.
I have a friend who i care for a lot, but sometimes he can be annoying, lets call him Bobby.
I had hit my head and had a nasty bump and bruise dead-center in my forehead.
Bobby: wow! whats this fellas new name? (pointing at my bruise)
Me: His name is Bobby! he is a massive headache.
We still laugh about that one
i was at a wedding and one persons suit was marvel characters and my dad says "well that's just marvelous"
I only have super fish oil injuries and I'm lucky I wasn't krilled!
..She's recovering from a massive stroke.
But I had to leave early because there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.
I'm rial-ly developing a respectable collection, lemme tell ya!
It was a massive blow
I wanted to go to Cancun.
But she wanted to >!come with me!<
Because resistance is futile
Everyone looked really fly, but there was a massive queue for the cloakroom.
