π︎ 17
π
︎ May 07 2012
Why do horses have low divorce rates?
They have stable relationships.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 23 2023
Why do horses have low divorce rates?
Because horses donβt get married, you idiot.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 23 2023
Iβve found a Delorean on Craigslist. Itβs got low milesβ¦
The owner says itβs only been driven from time to time.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 26 2023
My car keeps showing that it's low on fuel...
...but it's probably just gaslighting me.
π︎ 13
π
︎ May 04 2023
Looking to sell my Delorian. Low mileage..
Only driven from time to time
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 06 2023
So horses have low divorce rates because of stable relationships?
Where did they get their data, GALLOP poll?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 23 2023
What do you call a Satanist who only eats low-carb pizza?
ΚsnΙΉΙ-α΄Κuβ ΗΙ₯β΄ :β
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 29 2023
As a boy, the people I assumed were my parents would bathe me in low quality Australian lager.
It wasnβt until years later I realised Iβd been fostered
π︎ 324
π
︎ Jan 30 2023
They gave me a fork because I'm not Chinese.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 17 2023
Some people say my puns are...
π︎ 635
π
︎ Apr 11 2023
Why does Singapore have such low rates of violent crime?
Because they practice proper gum control.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 01 2023
Why are Joe Bidenβs approval numbers so low?
They are adjusted for inflation.
π︎ 553
π
︎ Oct 14 2022
Where did Noah store his bees?
π︎ 840
π
︎ May 09 2023
What do you call a cat with low iron levels?
π︎ 824
π
︎ Oct 20 2022
officially moo'd from r/engrish.
π︎ 189
π
︎ May 04 2023
Actor Rob Lowe is going to be a father.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Feb 27 2023
How far down do they have bury Harry Belafonte?
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot?
π︎ 173
π
︎ Apr 25 2023
The wife and I named all our kids after Star Wars characters. Our daughter Leia loves it, but our son Chewbacca doesnβtβ¦
Iβll admit we made a Wookiee mistakeβ¦
π︎ 100
π
︎ May 05 2023
When I want something low key...
I call upon the god of mischief.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 27 2023
Thatβs just Hawaii roll
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 01 2023
My carβs low fuel light keeps coming on right after I fill my tank up
I think Iβm being gaslighted by my gas light
π︎ 41
π
︎ Nov 04 2022
[Request] baby is on the way and need a joke to send
I'm in charge of sending a group text to all the family to let them all know but it's happening two weeks earlier than expected so I haven't had time to prepare so such an amazing chance for a joke. Anyone got anything I could send out rather than a low quality gif?
Sorry if this is against the rules for submissions
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Feb 17 2023
How do tamale vendors keep their costs low?
They make their tamales en masa.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 23 2023
We're hoping for a stellar night's sleep
π︎ 89
π
︎ Apr 16 2023
AITA for calling one of my teacher's many replacements the wrong name?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Feb 18 2023
I bumped my head going under a low bridge.
I'd have been ok.. if viaduct..
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 02 2023
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 09 2023
I set a whole pile of Chinese dumplings on fire
I was arrested for wonton cruelty.
π︎ 85
π
︎ Apr 28 2023
Razor sharp thinking to make the pun, one might say
π︎ 32
π
︎ Apr 23 2023
What do you call a nut which has low self-esteem?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 14 2023
Scientists at MIT have discovered a plant-based egg that has low cholesterols.
Itβs called the eggplant
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 08 2022
What do we want?! Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want it?!
π︎ 698
π
︎ Jul 27 2022
I was promoted from a frigate captain to a submarine commander.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Apr 18 2023
We were running low on spices in the kitchen. Tensions were high, and the head chef told me if I made another mistakeβ¦
It would be the last thyme.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 17 2022
Dwarfism is becoming more common than ever
π︎ 247
π
︎ Mar 19 2023
It's clearly a sin()
π︎ 42
π
︎ Mar 13 2023
This morning at work we were told we were low on O- blood.
I said, βLetβs B+ that we have some supply.β
No email yet from my director.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 06 2023
I set the bar for noodling around in the kitchen pretty low
π︎ 700
π
︎ Mar 29 2022
They conducted a research with a couple of visually-impaired folks on how much alcohol they could take.
It was a double blind, beer-reviewed study.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 25 2023
When Iβm low on cash, I just grab some more out of the nearest ocean.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Oct 28 2022
Iβve lost weight recently by wearing bread on my head.
Itβs a new loaf hat diet.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Apr 06 2023
I finally got to watch Back to the Future
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 24 2023
why is Thor so high strung
π︎ 25
π
︎ May 10 2023
What kind of cheese has muscles?
π︎ 182
π
︎ Mar 05 2023
A local man was killed by a falling piano.
It will be a low key funeral.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Apr 06 2023
Why is the divorce rate for horses so low?
Because they tend to have stable relationships.
π︎ 698
π
︎ Feb 26 2023
Selling my low mileage Delorean.
Only driven from time to time.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Dec 17 2022
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