I have started freezing different objects at -273.15Β°c and blowing them up. Seeing with items reacted differently.

I call it the 0k boomer experiment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
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I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.

It's Groundbreaking work.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Zenchi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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My son blowing up a beach ball says,

as soon as I am done, I'm gonna catch my breath.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahuva
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2015
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A terrorist tried blowing up a train.

Fortunately the plan was derailed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Dude.. Your phone is blowing up! wannalol.com/p/803318
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arjunnanda9
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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That gif with the guy throwing a cigarette into a pipe sure is blowing up

https://gfycat.com/AstonishingSeparateIberianmidwifetoad

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hideous_coffee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2017
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Samsung's recent business ventures are really blowing up in their face.
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2016
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I suck at blowing up balloons.

That's because you're supposed to blow, not suck!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkalong
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2014
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Just watched an episode of 24 where Jack Bauer had to decide to either help the cartel transfer cannabis crystals into the U.S within 24 hours or they would blow up the Gulf Coast states.

...It was Kief or Southernland.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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I posted this on r/memes a while ago and it didn't blow up or somthing. I am just so proud of this it makes me laugh every time
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πŸ‘€︎ u/or2072
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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I once tried to blow up a car

Burnt my lips on the exhaust pipe

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DenisMcK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
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Hope this one doesn’t blow up on me.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lococlyde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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People usually say, β€œlet’s blow this popsicle stand,” when they are at a place where people are cold and have the proverbial, β€œstick up their ass.”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForestValkyrie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
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A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

β€œSir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised, and was silent for a minute or two. Finally, he asked me

β€œFur-eel man?”

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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What do you call a dinosaur that blows up?

A TNT-Rex

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetmyMeat234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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Why did the Millennium Falcon blow up?

Because Chewie was playing with a live Han grenade, and it fired first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
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Can you tell me what metal blows up when it reacts with water?

Na

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Albertosaurus77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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It really did blow up
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BABAKAKAN
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Why can cows blow up randomly?

Because they're usually in stables.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Laika_5
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
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Why did Marilyn Monroe'd skirt blow up when we met?

Because I'm a huge fan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dagusiu
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2019
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Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?

He was dead lifting.

Edit: Wow! Went to bed, went to work, checked this post, and holy hell did it blow up! Thanks for the awards, funny add-one and dad jokes! This sub is awesome!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/35mmPirate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Why did the vegetable hospital blow up?

Because someone dropped a sick beet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/petsarenice
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
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I post a pun everyday on this subreddit hoping it’ll blow but I’m disappointed.. every time!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Hopefully the comments don't blow up... imgur.com/x9JVVQK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kasabe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
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Have you heard of the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timotheonb
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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Why did the President of the U.S. blow hot air up his dog's bum?

Because it's a Trump-pet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/plankyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
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I had to blow up my the tyres on my car the other day...

I came home afterwards "Done it?" he said.

Me - "Yeah, bit of a piss take though, cost me 50p just for some air."

"Well, that's inflation for you."

Good one, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ron_manager
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
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Sorry this isn’t really a joke but I wanted to say thanks

I just wanted to thank everyone here. My mom has been in the hospital with the virus and being able to send her jokes from here has made her laugh (we both really like puns!) so I just wanted to thank y’all for the fun jokes you post. I know it doesn’t seem like much but it has been very nice to be able to share them with her!

Edit: thank you so much for the awards and well wishes! I 100% did not expect this to blow up like it did and I’m so glad for y’all’s support!!

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
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Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...

but they needed to sea mine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saddestclaps
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
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A saber tooth tiger would never blow anything up.

But a dino might.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kidnorthstar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2017
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This pun is like my vacuum cleaner. It blows a lot of hot air, but ends up sucking.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirate_of_the_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2016
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What sound does a 747 airplane make when it bounces?

Boeing, Boeing, Boeing

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeW2017
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
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"Okay, I did learn one interesting thing," Gabe admitted.

He was finally doing the reading for his history class. "Did you know that Bin Laden was planning to blow up monuments in other American cities?"

"I bet St. Louis was next on his list," I nodded.

"How'd you know that, Dad?" he asked in surprise.

"Well, he was our arch-enemy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cja1968
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new terrorist boy band?

They are blowing up.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kesavadh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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A man walks in to a bar. On the bar is a duck tap dancing on a biscuit tin.

He is amazed and wants to buy the duck. The man refuses at first but eventually agreed. As the man walks out of the bar the now owner of the duck shouts. Excuse me how do i stop the duck tap dancing. Simple says the man lift up the tin and blow out the candle......

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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My uncle laid this one on his son's girlfriend while in a food coma, laying on a blow up mattress in the living room

Uncle: Hey K, did you know I once petitioned to change the name of Uranus?

K (the girlfriend): Oh really, what were you trying to change it to?

Uncle: Urrectum

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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkpunk
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag.

The girl replied, β€œThanks for the Baghdad”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mannippulative
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
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If I see another gender reveal bomb meme...

Boy, I’m gonna blow up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swim_and_drive
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I've been torturing my daughter with jokes for years now

And here they are

In case this is your first time here (I haven't posted in a while), I find jokes here and elsewhere on the internet (and now my friends have started sending me jokes), and I text them to my daughter. I then capture her reactions for those sweet, sweet internet points.

Thanks very much to the original joke submitters. You dads are alright. If you missed any of the previous episodes:

Vol. 1

Vol. 2

Vol. 3

Vol. 4

EDIT: Since this is blowing up, I may as well mention that the young lady in question just passed her driver's license test this morning! Everyone congratulate her!

Also, thanks for the gold.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geoffevans
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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One of the particpants at an adult foster care home dropped this bomb.

I work at a house and take care of two gentlemen with mental disabilities who live there. One of them dropped this gem today:

Him: What would happen if I didn't have a mouth? I couldn't talk. What would happen if I didn't have a nose? I couldn't smell. What would happen if I didn't have any ears? I couldn't see. Me: Do you mean you couldn't hear? Him: No, my hat would fall down and cover my eyes.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calebshmaleb
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2015
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I have an unoriginal joke.

But you probably Reddit

Edit: Holy Crap I Wrote this last night as a joke and DID not expect it to blow up, thanks for the silver my dude.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DolphinzX
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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I bought myself a crash test dummy

I always wanted to test one of those blow-up dolls

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πŸ‘€︎ u/psayayayduck
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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