Lowering Puns

I was at church with my father who is the pastor, so lots of people come up to him weekly. I went to go say hi to him after church, and an older lady by the name of Bertha comes up to us and introduces herself. After I tell her my name, she asks me if I play football. I shake my head and give her a puzzled look and she says, "oh well you have a strong looking body". Of course I get rather excited about this and say, "dad did you hear that, she thinks I play football?" He responds with, "son, we've been praying for Ms. Bertha's eyesight for a long time now"

I need a PG13 Or lower pun for wrestling for a yearbook subheader. Help plz

Now they’re under a buck.

Don't worry, I'm 0K.

He was afraid of Capitalism.

Setting my heights real low on this one guys. Lol

it's a real pain in the ass.

It was quite the shindig

Because they hate capitalism.

You know, a schwa sticker.

He was a negative one.

I told them “you’re masking me something I don’t have the answer to, why not mask someone else?”

But apparently it was just an old wives tale

And will continue until they lower the price.

;

I didn't plan ahead

So I went home and put it in on a lower shelf

i said i stopped giving a shift.

Judgmental

“No, I want it even lower. I want it mega-low, Don.”

Get it? Met-a-four?

I was hungry af yesterday and I called my dad to buy something to eat

Me: Dad, I'm Hungry

Dad: Hey hungry, I'm dad!

All these years I was so cautious not to fall for it and yesterday was the first time my guard was lowered and he used the opportunity!

Turn down for watt.

A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.

A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.

The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.

The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"

"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.

The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."

It was a real shindig

He said it lowers his maskulinity.

Now they're transparent trans parents.

I call it The Only Way is Ethics

He hated capitalism

I said, don't sell yourself short

...counter productive.

A chinchilla chin chiller

She'll be able to use the force to raise and lower things.

Her name will be Ella Vader

He says, "Ouch!"

Guess you could call him a capitalist.

...so when someone asks what your password is, just tell them it’s: 12345678.

Edit: I meant 12345688...

Its my fault.

Now, I’m stoney below knee.

It was quite the shindig.

0K boomer

I said, “i decided to stop giving a shift.”

He’s 0K now.