A depressing pun, I sea
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
🚨︎ report
[request] can you help me make a sad or depressing pun?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/INeedHelpPlease97
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2017
🚨︎ report
I had a job as a garbage collector, it was very depressing...

... I was often down in the dumps.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.

I always need to console myself.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Why was the circle depressed?

She thought her life was pointless.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/urkkizzz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Why was the Calendar so depressed?

He knew his days were numbered

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.

It will be a sadder day.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Ever heard of the polar bear that lives on both north & south poles, is manic depressive and attracted to both sexes?

Hes known as the bi-polar bi-polar bi polar bear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04
🚨︎ report
My chair is depressed and broke down to pieces.

It just doesn't give a sit anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/risanthy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08
🚨︎ report
Gravity is really depressing

It's always bringing everyone down

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fukurslf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
If yoo think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.

It will be a Sadder day

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Parkwad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
My dog has depression and is having a hard time with it...

... You can say she has it a bit... rough.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPrisim
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
My medicine makes me depressed

It's a sadative.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/refward
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed locomotive?

A trainwreck

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tinycubegamer45
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
Someone broke into my house and stole my anti depression pills

I hope they're happy

πŸ‘︎ 131
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tjeters
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
My depressive daughter said she "wants to go out with a bang"

I got her to a hair stylist,but im not approving of this relationship.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ferkeshu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
My doctor recently prescribed me some anti-gravity pills for my depression.

They have been extremely up lifting.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Orrboy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02
🚨︎ report
I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.

They just want to like, dye.

(OC)

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lazy-Potential
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
Why did the chicken with depression cross the road?

To apply to KFC.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeftRadio0
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
How do depressed frogs die?

They Kermit suicide.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
I was feeling a little depressed, and then I saw a clown doing sit-ups across the street.

Funny how things work out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
Why do depressed people make the best jokes?

β€˜Cause they’re already dad inside

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRoaringSeaLion
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
What did the therapist say to the depressed dog?

Life is ruff.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryden22
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
That's depressing.
πŸ‘︎ 201
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πŸ‘€︎ u/blakestar45
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the depressed fisherman in the orange grove?

He was fishing for a compliment.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/neobloodsin
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I was at work when i passed by the interviewer's office and saw a small bear walk out depressed, I went in and asked "Whats his deal?"

They said he wasn't Koalafied

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Waterburst789
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a white bear that has crippling depression, is sexually confused and can't pick a hemisphere?

A Bipolar Bi-Polar Bi Polar Bear

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ErinMcCloud
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
You think THAT’S depressing? You know what’s REALLY depressing?

Those popsicle sticks in the doctor’s office!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Nickelback is such a depressing band... They should make happier songs...

... and change their name to Tickleback...

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...

"I'm on antidepressants."

He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.

Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebikerdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna hear something depressing

A pull.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kitianoxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
🚨︎ report
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
To the guy who stole my depression medication,

I hope you're happy.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hood-30535
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30
🚨︎ report
My wife bought me soy sauce to help ease my depression.

Kikkoman when he's down, I guess.

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...

That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.

Because everything will get only harder.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrokraj
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?

The Doctor only gave him 4!...

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed vegetable

Despairagus

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HazelTazel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what happens when you crack an egg?

It becomes a shell of its former self.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ArkticDarkness
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05
🚨︎ report
Whoever stole my anti depressants

I hope you are happy now

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timmy23309
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the depressed person put his booze in the elevator?

He wanted something to lift his spirits.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?

Bummer to bummer traffic

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
What does a depressed music student say?

Everything hertz

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paveljedarebak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
To whoever stole my anti depressants

I hope you’re happy now

πŸ‘︎ 162
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTexican11
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do if you don't want people to see you depressed?

Hide and go seek therapy.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a ghost cope with depression?

BOOZE

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Maths gave depression
πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oracle_3605
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why are so many Belgians depressed?

Because the food they eat is just... woefful.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JAiFauxThe
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
The Grape Depression by Berried Alive
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pielewis
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Martin was depressed because he could never get girls. Then Martin became a director. Now Martin scores easy.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Superbat898
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake depressed?

Their careers were in ruins.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Chinese child that's depressed?

Youth in Asia

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Innarhythm
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call depressed testicles?

Blue balls.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/knucklehead27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Depressed = not pressed (sorry if that ruined the joke but last time I posted this nobody got it)
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fab-_-
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Being out of wok can be depressing.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2018
🚨︎ report
To the thief who took my anti-depressants.

I hope you're happy.

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Almost every button has dealt with depression at some point in their lives.
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a vampire drink when depressed?

B positive!

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atomic-wizard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it called hereditary depression and not blue genes?
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
You guys hear about the depressed plumber?

He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

πŸ‘︎ 92
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LazyGuyE
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do potatoes do when they're depressed?

They get baked

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How does an electrician cure depression?

He uses shock therapy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Geb69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Han Solo was very depressed when his son went to the dark side. All his friends were wondering. . .

Why’s Han so low?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed.

Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
I don't understand depressed magnets.

They're so bipolar.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn't HIV a major cause of depression?

Because it's not that hard to stay positive.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trollcitybandit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.

It really improves your Outlook.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
They say depression runs in my family

I guess I have blue genes

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I met a depressed bodybuilder today

He had nothing to lift for.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeffo0o
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m not a dad but here’s my best shot.

What does a depressed cowboy say?

Yee-nah

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BulbaFriend2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
What do you call a depressed frog?

Unhoppy.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bearinthegarden14
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the dolphin depressed?

It had no porpoise

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the depressed Scandinavian say?

I wish I had never been Bjorn!

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the archaeologist so depressed?

Because his life was in ruins

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
🚨︎ report
How can you tell when a color is depressed?

When it’s Cyan.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a sad storm?

A sigh-clone.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Depression is real
πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bongnazi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the math book so depressed?

It had so many problems.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MuahDib74
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2018
🚨︎ report
To the thief who took my anti depressants

I hope you’re happy.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/minamo99
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a job crushing coke cans

It's soda depressing

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
Whoever stole my anti-depressants, I hope you’re happy now
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Reborn0608
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What does a depressed interior designer say when he messed up his work?

I hate myshelf.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FarinaIsInSpace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
To the boy who stole my anti-depressants

I hope you’re happy now

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Just-a-cute-Toast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.

It will be a sadder day.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/deedubya8
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
How do depressed frogs die?

They Kermit suicide!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 27
🚨︎ report
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days

It will be a sadder day

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
🚨︎ report
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?

Because he has low elf esteem.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.

He wishes he was never Bourne.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report

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