[request] can you help me make a sad or depressing pun?
I had a job as a garbage collector, it was very depressing...
... I was often down in the dumps.
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
Why was the circle depressed?
She thought her life was pointless.
Why was the Calendar so depressed?
He knew his days were numbered
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
Ever heard of the polar bear that lives on both north & south poles, is manic depressive and attracted to both sexes?
Hes known as the bi-polar bi-polar bi polar bear.
My chair is depressed and broke down to pieces.
It just doesn't give a sit anymore.
Gravity is really depressing
It's always bringing everyone down
If yoo think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
My dog has depression and is having a hard time with it...
... You can say she has it a bit... rough.
My medicine makes me depressed
What do you call a depressed locomotive?
Someone broke into my house and stole my anti depression pills
My depressive daughter said she "wants to go out with a bang"
I got her to a hair stylist,but im not approving of this relationship.
My doctor recently prescribed me some anti-gravity pills for my depression.
They have been extremely up lifting.
I heard all the hair stylists are suffering from depression due to unemployment.
They just want to like, dye.
(OC)
Why did the chicken with depression cross the road?
How do depressed frogs die?
I was feeling a little depressed, and then I saw a clown doing sit-ups across the street.
Funny how things work out.
Why do depressed people make the best jokes?
‘Cause they’re already dad inside
Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
What did the therapist say to the depressed dog?
Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.
The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.
Why was the depressed fisherman in the orange grove?
He was fishing for a compliment.
I was at work when i passed by the interviewer's office and saw a small bear walk out depressed, I went in and asked "Whats his deal?"
They said he wasn't Koalafied
What do you call a white bear that has crippling depression, is sexually confused and can't pick a hemisphere?
A Bipolar Bi-Polar Bi Polar Bear
You think THAT’S depressing? You know what’s REALLY depressing?
Those popsicle sticks in the doctor’s office!
Nickelback is such a depressing band... They should make happier songs...
... and change their name to Tickleback...
Sitting in the ER with my son last night, he got me with this one. I was trying to lift his spirits and was pointing out all the crazy equipment they have in the room. I said "Oh look. They have tongue depressers." He says "Those won't work on me." I asked why and he says...
"I'm on antidepressants."
He's going in for surgery at 3:30pm Pacific. All your positive thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind words and omg for the gold! He's out of surgery and looks to be recovering nicely. All your well wishes helped cheer him and his parents up.
Wanna hear something depressing
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
Because he has low elf esteem.
To the guy who stole my depression medication,
My wife bought me soy sauce to help ease my depression.
Kikkoman when he's down, I guess.
If you ever become depressed, try drinking a gallon of water before going to sleep...
That'll give you a reason to get up in the morning.
Viagra is the worst medicine for depression.
Because everything will get only harder.
Why did he come home looking depressed after the doctor said he needed to take a pill everyday for the rest of his life?
The Doctor only gave him 4!...
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He sometimes wishes he’d never been Bourne.
What do you call a depressed vegetable
Do you know what happens when you crack an egg?
It becomes a shell of its former self.
Whoever stole my anti depressants
Why did the depressed person put his booze in the elevator?
He wanted something to lift his spirits.
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?
What does a depressed music student say?
To whoever stole my anti depressants
What do you do if you don't want people to see you depressed?
Hide and go seek therapy.
How does a ghost cope with depression?
Why are so many Belgians depressed?
Because the food they eat is just... woefful.
The Grape Depression by Berried Alive
Martin was depressed because he could never get girls. Then Martin became a director. Now Martin scores easy.
Why were Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake depressed?
Their careers were in ruins.
What do you call an Chinese child that's depressed?
What do you call depressed testicles?
Depressed = not pressed (sorry if that ruined the joke but last time I posted this nobody got it)
Being out of wok can be depressing.
To the thief who took my anti-depressants.
Almost every button has dealt with depression at some point in their lives.
What does a vampire drink when depressed?
Why is it called hereditary depression and not blue genes?
You guys hear about the depressed plumber?
He’s going through a lot of crap right now.
What do potatoes do when they're depressed?
How does an electrician cure depression?
Han Solo was very depressed when his son went to the dark side. All his friends were wondering. . .
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed.
Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
I don't understand depressed magnets.
Why isn't HIV a major cause of depression?
Because it's not that hard to stay positive.
Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.
It really improves your Outlook.
They say depression runs in my family
I guess I have blue genes
I met a depressed bodybuilder today
He had nothing to lift for.
I’m not a dad but here’s my best shot.
What does a depressed cowboy say?
Yee-nah
What do you call a depressed frog?
Why was the dolphin depressed?
What did the depressed Scandinavian say?
I wish I had never been Bjorn!
Why was the archaeologist so depressed?
Because his life was in ruins
How can you tell when a color is depressed?
What do you call a sad storm?
Why was the math book so depressed?
To the thief who took my anti depressants
I have a job crushing coke cans
Whoever stole my anti-depressants, I hope you’re happy now
What does a depressed interior designer say when he messed up his work?
To the boy who stole my anti-depressants
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
How do depressed frogs die?
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
Because he has low elf esteem.
Why was Santa's little helper feeling depressed?
Because he has low elf esteem.
Every time I visit my dad in St. Louis, he will walk into a room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong.
His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."
Matt Damon is severely depressed because he keeps getting typecast as an action hero.
He wishes he was never Bourne.
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