[request] can you help me make a sad or depressing pun?
What did the depressed man in Saint Louis say?
“I live in a constant state of Missouri”
If you become seriously depressed, try drinking a gallon of water just before you go to bed.
That will give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.
Why do astronauts never get depressed, even if they stay in outer space for months?
There's nothing there to bring them down
The zookeeper was depressed after the zoo got rid of its small whale exhibit.
There was no porpoise in her life anymore.
What's a depressed cheese?
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait until 2 more days. Why?
Because it will be a sadder day
Why was the weekend depressed?
It started on a Sadder Day!
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
Why are all archeologists depressed?
Because their lives are in ruins
Gravity is such a depressing topic to talk about.
It really brings me down.
An elderly inventor was becoming depressed with his life: his hearing was failing, his wife was always nagging him, he hadn't invented anything good in years, and his former good looks had been replaced by wrinkles and sagging skin.
He goes to the doctor to discuss his depression. When he arrives back home he has a huge smile on his face. He rushed past his wife and heads into the basement, where he immediately starts tinkering with a brand new invention.
His wife comes downstairs, gives the invention a once-over, then asks "What on earth is this thing, and how this supposed to help your depression?".
"Honey, the doctor told me working on this should have me feeling better in no time!" replies the man. He then proceeds to describe in detail how the machine cracks eggs, steams them, and flips them out onto a plate in under a minute, all at the touch of a button.
"But what on earth does this have to do with your depression? What did that quack doctor tell you to do?" asks the wife
The man replies: "He told me to work on my self egg-steam".
What kind of tea do Brits drink when they’re depressed?
Gravity is so depressing
Always bringing me down...
The stairs, hope my leg heals soon
Gravity has had me depressed lately
It really brings a guy down
Did you hear about the depressed Swede?
He wished he'd never been Bjorn!
Did you hear about the depressed ghost?
He's going through some things.
A guy name .zip seemed depressed, so I tried talking to him...
Why was the 2 year old antivaxx kid depressed?
Why was the button permamently depressed?
Somebody pushed him too far.
What do you call a group of sad journalists?
I was feeling depressed. So my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said "Earth."
That meant the world to me.
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.
I always need to console myself.
My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin, to draw out excess moisture....
My grandpa grew up during the depression, as a result, he never threw anything away.
He died in the war, holding a hand grenade.
Why was Van Gogh so depressed?
Because he lent his ear to everyone else's problems.
Why is everyone depressed and ready for the year to end?
Because 2021.
I hope this is OC. Havent looked though.
Did you hear about the depressive state of US?
What did the taco say to the depressed donut?
Taco: Want to taco bout it?
Donut: I donut know what to say.
Why was Uranus depressed?
Because it has been dealing with shit for years.
I had a job as a garbage collector, it was very depressing...
... I was often down in the dumps.
Why aren’t depressed people worried about flat tyres?
They are always carrying despair.
what did the depressed water park attendant think of at the top of a high rise building?
I absentmindedly bought a block of cheese. As soon as I unwrapped it, it spoke, saying, "I'm depressed. Can you help with this sadness?"
Damn. I picked up bleu cheese.
What did the depressed Scandinavian say ?
I wish I was never björn.
What do you call a depressed one-eyed horse?
What do you call a manic & depressive grizzly?
I think my eye mask is making me depressed
When I put it on I feel like I’m in a dark place
Why was the circle depressed?
She thought her life was pointless.
I used to like telling Dad jokes.
What is it called when everything in your spice cabinet is sad?
What do you call a sad coffee?
At which US state did the great depression start?
If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.
What do you call a depressed man with a robotic arm?
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