What happens when one of your butt implants deflates?

You're half assing it!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigKnowledge34
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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Police forces are deflating the stats of seized drugs during the drug war campaign.

Apparently, they didn't do the math but they did the meth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baldomccoy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2020
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I hear Tom Brady is very deflated after his loss.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CollapsibleEra
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2018
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My car got a flat while I was driving today...

It was a treadful, deflating experience which left me feeling flat and tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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Do you know the hit Ramones song that was originally about inner tubing?

I Wanna Be Deflated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
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I taught my pet rodent to chew holes in car tires.

He is now my little "Deflator Mouse".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.

So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could β€œbuild your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.

Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.

My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, β€œThis looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, β€œThat’s why they call it a money shot.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dormsta
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2020
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Andrew Luck "Feels Deflated" Being out of the Playoffs

This guy. We may have the NFL's Dad Joke MVP.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/onyxsamurai
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2015
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In a way, I kind of feel bad for the corona virus.

At my age, I remember how deflating it was to spend hours and hours coming up with an email address or gamer tag that was both clever and fun, only to find out that 18 others had thought of it first

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ty1erWard
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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That super bowl was so good

It was the best one I've seen all year

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pwines14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
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Why can’t a bicycle stand by itself?

Because it’s two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotatSalaed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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these guys are tired. thestarphoenix.com/storyl…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryonisis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2016
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OC from my dad

My dad sent this to me in email. The subject was: "Live from the Met"

http://imgur.com/gallery/oJqXVkJ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmeofdoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2015
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Why did Robert Kraft (owner of the New England Patriots) get a happy ending at a massage parlor in Florida???

To get his balls deflated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twill2318
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
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A family of balloons

Here's a joke my dad told me. Sorry if you've heard it, but I found it hilarious, and I think you might enjoy it.

In a small town in the suburbs, there was a small family of balloons. There was a mummy balloon, a daddy balloon, and a small child balloon. Every night the boy would sleep between his parents, but his father had had enough.

"son, I know you love sleeping between us, but you're getting a bit too old for it., " the father said. "You're nearly 8, you're a big boy, and your mother and I think you should sleep in your own bed from now on. You can stay tonight but starting tomorrow we want you in your own bed. Do you understand?"

"Yeah dad, I understand..." the boy said with a maudlin tinge to his voice.

"okay son, I love you."

"love you too dad"

The next night the boy tried sleeping in his own bed, but there was a storm outside. It was a dark, ominous storm - the kind of storm that sounds like a cataclysm for the end of the world.

The boy was scared, so he went to sleep

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aesyr_raps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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"Ugh, I was late to work because my bike had a flat tire"

"Did that leave you feeling deflated?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fnord123
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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Tom Brady may be the best QB in NFL history...

But that subject is very deflatable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Shiva92
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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What killed the dinosaurs?

A reptile dysfunction.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2015
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My dad came home with patriots balloons today...

When I asked him why he bought them a week early, he looks at me and says it's because by the time the Super Bowl comes around, "they'll be DEFLATED."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doses_of_mimosas
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2017
🚨︎ report
How did the Seahawks feel after they lost the Super Bowl 24-6?

"Deflated" "I'm just here so I don't get fined"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevekochscience
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2015
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Good Morning

So I was sleeping on a air mattress on a hand made bed made out of wood. (Camping with hunting buddies) When I woke the air mattress has deflated. Dad: Good morning how did you sleep? Me: I feel like I slept on wood all night. Dad: I did to then I rolled over. Every one in the cabin moans except for one chuckle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Voices
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2014
🚨︎ report
Out camping. Dadjoked my out-laws.

Leaving the campsite that morning, girlfriend's parents come over while I'm deflating the air mattress. The mattress we have has a battery-powered inflater/deflater.

Gf's mom: "Oh, it even comes with a sucker!"

Me: "Yeah, and for once it isn't the consumer."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/brakos
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2014
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