If you leave a grape out in the hot sun, it will shrivel and dry up.

Just raisin awareness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2016
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Just cleaning out the fridge and found this dried up and shrivelled behind the egg tray. What a waste.
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JediWithBenefits
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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Lying in the sun, getting all dried and shriveled?

That's every grape's raisin d'Γͺtre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/option8
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2019
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Words that sound the same backwards and forwards

I started pronouncing words backwards and forwards, with slight variation in the sounds of the consonants.

Mom....mmoM.

Dad....daaD.

Poop....pooP.

Daughter: What are you doing!? *Shriveled nose face

Dad: I'm trying to think of words that sound the same backwards and forwards. Can you think of any?

Daughter: Um, no.

Dad: I'm surprised you didn't instantly think of... Sass.

(Still would work if they come up with examples as long as they don't think of sass.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RickJVenture
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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Destroyed my wife yesterday with this dad joke

Wife: "Look at my hands. They're getting wrinkles. I'm old. I bet my ovaries are just shriveling up as we speak."

Me: "I don't know, I think you're...ovary-acting."

Wife: [long pause and sigh] "I deserved that..."

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zero44
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2016
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Classics are classics for a reason....

Talking to a co-worker and she asks what time it is

"Time to go to the dentist"

"What? Why's that?"

"Well, its two-thirty, isn't it"

The shrivelling look of disapproval I got was a true honour.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/extraflux
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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