He said: Well, I can clearly see your nuts
Is it... Quark Kent...? Da dum tisssss
Turns out my therapist is my old high school bully. He says he can help me with that.
And the shrink says, "I can clearly see you're nuts"
He had a pursonality disorder
Turns out I'm best on the fly.
You could say it's quite belittling.
He was a little Thor afterwards.
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
"Well, you just have to be a little patient."
“Be a little patient.”
I can’t tell you how angry I am at this.
He said, “You'll just have to be a little patient then”.
They're calling them microchips.
A nurse approaches him and says "Sir, you're just going to have to be a little patient."
Cause then I'll be a shrink
In short his practice is shrinking.
A guy is going to see his shrink. when he gets there, just outside the door he strips down, gets butt naked & raps himself in suran wrap, then walks in/hops in, & goes & flops on the couch & says alright doc im ready! doc turns around, thinks for a minute, & says alright i can clearly see--- your nuts!
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
He could never bring himself to see a shrink.
The nuts shrink.
The shrink takes one look at him and says “I can clearly see your nuts!”
The shrink ray
It’s a quickly shrinking hobby.
I hear it really helps reduce your waste.
The physio: what is wrong?
The moth: I feel so depressed, worthless, useless to society, and I really need help.
The physio: This is a Physiotherapists, I deal with physical issues, you need to go to a Psychologist, a shrink. Why did you come in here?
The Moth: "The light was on"
We were talking about a mutual friend recovering from cancer:
Wife: .. and her tumor shrunk at least 50% now.
Me: (almost instantly) So it's a onemor now? Good for her!
Wife: (Silence then a groan)
..I think I'm going to hell for that one.
EDIT: grammar thanks jonty57
The shrink looks up at the guy and says "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
My shrink says I'm just being self centaured.
Him: My test results came in. The tumors in my lungs and back haven't spread and have begun shrinking thanks to the treatment.
Me: That's wonderful!!!
Him: They're still there but at least they haven't increased by one and become tremors.
Me: Hm? I don't ge......oh goddammit.
My dad everyone. Even when battling cancer, there's still time to make a joke.
I asked my dad why he is seeing a shrink. He responded (dead serious):
Because I need to be shrunk.
So I was enjoying my nice warm shower. She says "Do you always take cold showers in the morning?" I say, "I'm not taking a cold shower."
She says "...yet", and pour ice cold water on me.
I would've groaned, but I was too busy shrinking.
I was about seven when my mom dad and I were driving past a graveyard when my dad asks me question. Dad: How many dead people are in the graveyard? Me: Idk like 100 Dad: All of them! Next thing I hear is an uproar of laughter from him and my mom, while I just shrink down in my seat in defeat. He kept doing the same joke for 5 more years