Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldnβt see himself doing it.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
As a globe restorer, I never turn down projects where I have to fill in missing countries or islands. But missing equators?
Thatβs when I draw the line.
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Around the turn of 1900, two Friars move to London to start up a florist shop. Well this didn't sit well with the established florist shop down on the corner.
The other shop owner called his buddy to have someone trash their store. They sent Hugh, big guy like 6'3'' 300pounds. Hugh goes in and busts the store up and scares the Friars off, sending them back to the monastery.
The moral of the story is, Hugh and only Hugh can prevent Florist Friars.
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︎ Jul 05 2020
Long time lurker, wanted to share a joke that will turn this subreddit upside down.
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︎ Mar 22 2019
At which turn did the dog lay down?
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︎ Jul 23 2020
A man sits down at a bar. After a moment, he hears a voice behind him say "Hey, that shirt looks great on you!" He turns around, and nobody is there. Confused, he asks the bartender, "Where did that voice come from?" The bartender says...
"Oh, it's the peanuts.
They're complimentary."
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︎ May 16 2020
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
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︎ Mar 27 2020
Why did the fungi farmer turn down the job offer at a new farm with higher pay?
There wasn't mush-room to grow there.
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︎ Nov 01 2019
FYI, If your boat turns upside down, you can wear it on your head.
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Because it's capsized
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︎ Jul 08 2019
When a dad joke is passed down to the next generation and turns into a mom joke...
I found myself using one of my favorite dad jokes recently... every time we pass some fresh roadkill while driving, my dad would say βman, thatβs a dangerous place to take a napβ. Made me giggle every time. My own kids typically give me a courtesy laugh now. They donβt appreciate the dad/mom joke nearly as much as I did... and still do.
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︎ Sep 30 2019
Janitor lady asked me if I wanted to smoke pot with her, but I had to turn her down.
I don't like high maintenance women
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︎ Jul 31 2018
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︎ Dec 11 2018
If itβs too loud, turn down the volume.
Now thatβs sound advice.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
Being married is like staying at a fancy hotel. My wife provides turn-down service every night.
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︎ Feb 25 2018
So a magician was walking down the street, then he turns into a grocery store.
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︎ Dec 28 2017
Why did Will Smith turn down the movie role as a bear hunter?
Because he thought there shouldnβt be another Good Will Hunting
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︎ Sep 21 2018
Nicolas Cage turns down a roll
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︎ Aug 23 2013
My dad says this every time we turn down our street.
We pass this sign that says "Slow. Children at play."
Every single time he says "Slow children at play, heh. Makes em easier to hit."
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︎ Sep 21 2013
I told my kid he should turn the volume down...
He didn't listen, even though it was sound advice.
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︎ Aug 21 2015
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He just couldnβt see himself doing it
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︎ Jul 25 2020
TIL: If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Jul 07 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldnβt see himself doing it.
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︎ May 18 2020
TIL: If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Oct 23 2019
If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head.
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︎ Jul 19 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He really couldnβt see himself doing it.
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︎ Sep 29 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.
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︎ Nov 06 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldnβt see himself doing it!
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︎ Jun 26 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldn't see himself doing it.
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︎ Aug 11 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because he couldnβt see himself doing it
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︎ Apr 08 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldnt see himself doing it.
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︎ Jun 24 2019
When your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head
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︎ Jul 08 2019
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He just couldn't see himself doing it.
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︎ May 19 2018
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
Because he couldnβt see himself doing it
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︎ Apr 03 2018
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer ?
Because he just couldn't see himself doing it.
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︎ Jun 25 2018
Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?
He couldnβt see himself doing it.
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︎ Jul 12 2018
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