Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘︎ 949
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you reject someone who wants to elope?

Give them a cantaloupe.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Samus reject the offer?

It didn’t match her Crateria.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tentacle-
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A true audiophile rejects outdated stereotypes.
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/falkata
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the invisible man reject the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/v_i_k_i
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend developed a video streaming app that rejects every choice you make, and plays random Russian videos instead.

He calls it Nyetflix

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/conmiz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the blacksmith reject his newly forged sword?

It smelt funny

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rorasaur
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
🚨︎ report
God got into every college he applied to. His son got rejected everywhere.

He got hung up on his boards.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ivegot_back
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
My job application was rejected by a juice company...

I shouldn’t have mentioned my solid experience.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I got a fake medical ID made to get the COVID vaccine, but I was rejected

It was worth a shot.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inTRONet
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
I’ve just received another rejection letter from a publisher regarding my autobiography.

That’s the story of my life

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
I was rejected a job offer because I made a typo

I should really be carfeul the next time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BowelMovementator
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear the Journal of Modern Medicine rejected an article about Midol?

The editor said it was not current at all, but more of a period piece!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/noapostrophe555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My trademark for extremely small grains of rice was rejected

Not sure why. I call it "Minute Rice" and it only takes about an hour to cook.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maximusheadroom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised.

You had to be a complete dick.

πŸ‘︎ 125
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I was recently rejected from a mushroom studying school.

They said there wasn't mushroom for a fungi like me.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SD_Swift
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My son was rejected from Indiana University. Feeling persistent, he asked me if he should call one of the advisors and plead for admission.

I told him beggars can’t be Hoosiers.

πŸ‘︎ 284
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
🚨︎ report
If carbo hydrate

Then why bread dry?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CopsaLau
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
🚨︎ report
The frequency of rejection is measured in Hurtz
πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sukeman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
🚨︎ report
The local seniors care home rejected my offer to speak to residents about the advantages of being young in far-eastern countries...

apparently it is not "appropriate" to talk to residents about the benefits of youth in asia.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sludgemonkey01
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got rejected by your crush?

Ouch... that must've heart.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DuckieNerd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was Hitler rejected from art school?

They did nazi his artistic talent

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/realsuperguy199
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Two pigs tried for an audition but both were rejected

One was too hammy while the other was too boaring

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You don't really hate cats....

You just can't handle rejection.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the boar rejected for the casting role?

He was too hammy

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Some filmmakers were secretly trying to murder the lead actor in a low-budget flick, but he got wind of the plot and managed to escape. They took the existing footage and shopped it to different producers, but it was roundly rejected by everyone for the same reason.

It wasn't up to snuff.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeromocles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I keep applying to carpentry school, and they keep rejecting me.

I don’t think they like my stool samples.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
🚨︎ report
A vegan rejected me on Tinder

She said we shouldn't meat

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stupid_Watergate_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I was rejected from the astronaut academy

I guess the sky is my limit

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PossiblyDumb66
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad has a way with words.

I think its time for him to join the Dad's Poet Society.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Hah, rejected by your mom
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Piersontheraven
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Emperor Akbar rejected from Hogwarts?

Because he was a Muggle Sultan.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to convert to Judaism, but I was rejected because I’m not circumcised.

I guess I didn’t make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
β€œHi, is this the rejection hotline?” β€œNo! Go away!”
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jc123ucme
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
The executive sat on his katana after his proposed new corporate structure was rejected

Apparently, the board didn't approve of the bottom-up harakiri

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boganic-alcoholic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I asked my crush to pass me a chair

Cuz I was falling hard for him.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/animey04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
🚨︎ report
The Solar Panel goes home one night, rejecting his wife’s advances.

He says, β€œI’m sorry honey. I’ve just got no energy at night.”

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedFoxyMoron
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the mushroom say when he got rejected from clown college?

Why not!? I'm a fungi

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stlnthngs
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2018
🚨︎ report
My car was rejected from the car show...

It wasn't wearing the proper attire.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrummerJedi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Johnny Cash wrote a song for "Return of the Jedi", but was sadly rejected?

I guess George Lucas wasn't a fan of "Ewok the Line."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandehmand
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2017
🚨︎ report
An unintended pun
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/t21millz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
How do directors know if an actor is acting or just pretending to act?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2019
🚨︎ report
If aliens came to Earth and used the creatures here as test subjects, what kind of candy would they create?

Species Pieces.

Every time I come up with one of these, I am simultaneously amused and extremely upset with myself.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BarryJertheim
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2015
🚨︎ report
Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report

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