I (33m) never wanted a child, same with my now wife Vera (32). We've started dating in college and we planned to stay childless, we agreed that we're better off without kids.
10 years ago, Vera and I have been together for two years and we lived in a small apartment in a big city. That was the life she and I both wanted. I got home from work one night and I found Vera crying in the kitchen. She explained to me that her borther and SIL died in a car accident. She had no other relatives in the country so it was now up to her to take care of her seven years old nephew Luiz.
She was devastated and so was I. We moved into her brother's house in the suburbs with Luiz. I remember the first night there, sitting there in the living room with a bottle of beer thinking of ways of how can I flee this situation. I decided that the best way was to stay until things settle down. Vera started to see a therapist with her grief and I could tell that she was fully aware of my plan.
Before I knew, I was helping Luiz with his homework, kicking the ball outside with him or taking him out to see a movie or just to eat somewhere while her aunt was at her therapist.
One night he and I stayed up late watching a movie and he fell asleep next to me on the couch. I carried him upstairs to his room. I stayed there for a few minutes watching him sleep with tears flowing down my cheeks because I couldn't believe that I ever planned to leave this all behind.
I proposed to Vera within a year and legally adopted Luiz after we were married. Since then we surprised him with two younger siblings.
My wife and I went from never wanting kids to having three. My son will start college next September and I'm horrified to let him out on his own.
Edit: Thank you all for the kind reactions! I wasn't expecting this post to receive too much attention but I've been pleasantly surprised. — I don't want to say that everything happens for a reason - kind of a cliché - but if you ever find yourself feeling like your life isn't going according to plan than the best advice I can give is to take a step back and look at the whole picture. You might find that the new, unexpected road ahead of you is the one you should go down.
My husband and I chose my best friend and his partner to be the legal guardians for our daughter if we die before she’s 18 instead of our families.
My husband isn’t close to his family so there’s no one on his side we’d want to leave her with. My family is delightful, and I have a brother who helped raise me, and I think the world of him, but his wife isn’t exactly the type of person I want to help raise my kid. She’s generally very dramatic, close minded about people who are different than her and has made some racist comments here and there over the years. Not to mention, they live in the shitty small town I grew up in that I couldn’t wait to leave. There’s little opportunity there and it’s a very different community than the one we live in currently.
My mom and dad are devastated over this decision, and my dad is barely talking to me. My mom thinks that family should absolutely be the preference for this decision despite my SIL having very different values. Also, my friend is gay, which makes no difference to me, but is a sticking point for my parents and they struggle to see how two men will raise a girl. 🙄 Mom wants me to talk to my brother about it because he’ll be heartbroken to learn we didn’t choose him if we die.
Am I the asshole? Should I have chosen a family member? Is it that uncommon to choose a friend who you know would give your child a good home and raise them with your same values in the community you’ve chosen to live? I’m feeling a ton of guilt over my decision now. Has anyone else gone through this?
Cut the story short, we found out he was being abused sexually and physically at home, we had to step up and make sure he is safe, we are legal guardians now, nothing related to our marriage, but I’m so so happy we can keep him safe, he is the kindest most loving 14 year old I have ever met.
I have a son who is 13 years old now and I have had him every day and night for the past 11 years even though it's joint custody with me being the primary. (he is also close with my parents and spends lots of time with them too)
I have been with my wife for 7 years but just got married this year.
I was wondering what would happen to my son if I were to pass away, Would my wife have an easy time getting custody of him?
His bio mother lives in what you would call a very toxic environment and
I would not feel safe for him to be there. ex: drugs, her bf in and out of prison, party house.
I'm just worried she would try to keep him if something were to happen to me.
Also, another question, does my wife need to legally adopt my son or is that not necessary since we are married?
Thanks
I'm afraid my sibling & his spouse will ask me (39F) and my husband (36M) to take their child if something happens to them. I've never wanted kids, and still never want them. I have no clue how to raise a child and no interest in learning. Is it bad to say no if they ask me?
Hey guys, so rn I'm 16 turning 17 in Jan 5, my Legal Guardian is my Grandpa who has double Citizenship of Israel and Georgia and currently lives in Georgia, I did contact Israeli Embassy about this but the woman I spoke to from Aliyah department was a huge bitch about it, I'm not Eligible for law of Return since I'm 4th gen Jew by Papers, And my Grandpa wasn't my legal guardian from birth, he became one like this month after my mom was killed (My dad already had parenting thing taken away). That woman from Aliyah department told me to write these guys: Pniot@Nativ.gov.il. we had tried getting citizenship a few years back but they demanded for DNA test to be done between my Mom and Grandpa to prove they were actually daughter and father but we didn't have funds back then so we Returned, Now I would have to do DNA test between me and my Grandpa, That woman said a couple months ago that consul will decide if that will be enough. Would it be needed for me to get a Israeli Lawyer? Is it even possible for me to get Citizenship now? What should be my next step basically?
I’m up all night thinking about the future from here. I would like advice from anyone who has had a family member given a legal guardian that is not another family member. My father is a Danish citizen, but I am not one myself, and I live in America so it’s too hard for me to manage all his affairs. His Dementia has gotten so bad that the Kommun coordinator and I decided it was time someone have legal authority over him. I am very thankful this has been done, and it is what I knew was best for him, I just have some big questions maybe someone out there can speak on from experience. I want to be able to do things with the guardian like speak for my dad on financial and medical and housing matters. Will this be allowed? Will the guardian partner with me to make sure what he does is consistent with my family’s wishes? My dad has property and money in Denmark and I am worried about the possibility of a stranger having total control without my input. Can I be granted Fuldmagt by the guardian for certain matters? I have a lot of feelings about the possibility of losing his little house because my family has been here for hundreds of years and it makes me feel bad that it might end with me if I cannot have control over the decisions.
After three grueling years dealing with the court and foster care system, handling unnecessary paperwork and bureaucracy, staying on my mother's good side so she'd consent to guardianship, it's finally going to happen!
Today was the final court date. And tomorrow, everything should be finalized (hopefully).
My partner and I called child protective services on my mother back in December 2018. Workers showed up, took my mother's side, and blamed everything on my partner and me. They even said we needed to move out for the safety of my siblings. Cops also showed up after we called because my mother and her boyfriend were making death threats at us. They also sided with them, blaming everything on us.
That night haunted me ever since. And it'll likely continue to haunt me. But I kept telling myself it's worth it because it will lead to this moment! And it finally has.
Back in 2018, my siblings were taken away. But my partner and I got them back 10 days later. We went through the process to become certified foster parents so we can continue keeping them. There was no end in sight but at least we were away from my mother. But after one, then two years it was starting to drain.
We were stuck in the system whose intention was to reunite mother and children. I had to watch my every move, worried they'll be taken from me. And I kept worrying my mother's facade might win over the people on the case like it did with the initial workers and cops. But fortunately, she showed her true colors in court and basically incriminated herself. And after a while, she was fed up playing nice and stopped cooperating altogether.
I continued complying and doing the best I can even during times when I'm upset and frustrated for all the hoops I have to jump through as a foster parent. I was sad that the system favored reunion despite it being apparent that my mother was unfit. And I hated that some people can give birth and treat their kids like dirt. But how adoption is so hard for loving families who want children.
But finally, it's happening. It definitely wasn't easy and It's not official yet so I'm jumping the gun. But I am so excited it feels surreal. I've given up hope so many times because every time it felt like the end was near, something else happened that kept it dragging.
I've been planning to move to another state for the longest time with my partner. Buy our own house. Start over someplace new. And this thing was holding us back. But finally, we can do it!
Duri
... keep reading on reddit ➡I’m really scared of it happening and being under my families thumb again but I also think I need to get a diagnosis because I could really use the help…
My parental guardian died, when I fill out the form do I mark the fafsa as parents deceased or that I do have a legal guardian and clarify that they have died later on?
My parents have appointed a non relative legal guardian in the US for me. They are a US Citizen. I currently have an F1 visa and am almost done with the process of getting a green card. Am I able to obtain a US citizenship ( not a green card ) through my legal guardian?
Now, bare with me as I accidentally enmesh a handful of seasons..
We meet Bonnie. The only local family she ever mentions is Grams. We know Grams has her own house. Bonnie and other characters clearly visit Shiela's house. Bonnie goes there, she knocks. She is pretty uncomfy the first few times and kinda thinks Grams is a weirdo until she herself starts to experience her powers
We never hear of her parents... until we do?? Obviously, her mom left early. We know she did magic that isolated her and inevitably led her to leave her life and self, later becoming a vampire, etc. So, okay, mom's out.
She never speaks of her father? And when we meet him he is obviously absent and travels constantly. Came outta nowhere. When we finally DO meet him, IN SEASON 4!!!!!, it is clearly awkward and surprising he is around. Bonnie reacts as if she hasn't seen him in years. And then he's dead.
So... where does Bonnie live? Like, the whole time we know her..? Does she go to her own PTA meetings? Who paid the bills? (I know, probably mysterious traveling dad but ok) Was she just rocking it solo in a big ass suburban house? And if so, what was she doing???? ($10 says she turned an entire room into a rollerskating rink room)
Who was the legal guardian of this child, considering her dad only starts to exist when she is already in college?
My wife has 2 boys that are my step kids. The youngest’s father is not in the picture at all. He has a 5 year no contact order from the courts. I would like to become legal guardian of my step son incase anything happens to my wife. I have been raise him since he was 3 months old and is 3 years old now. How would I go about becoming legal guardian in the state of Ohio? TIA
Hey guys, I have posted this multiple times as I am only on 13 participants and I DESPERATELY need 100 by January as I have a dissertation to complete.
If you are a parent yourself or know someone who is that is either: 18-25 or 40-50 with children aged: 2-11, please do pass this on. Participants can be: Female, Male and NB. Also Adoptive, Stepparents, Legal Guardians or Biological.
I am struggling to find participants and it is very stressful at the minute.
Upvotes will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time🙌🏼.
Kind of random, but I’m reading Godparented (definitely recommend checking it out!) and just curious how you’d would feel if this happened to you irl. I feel like I’d be kind of pissed, especially if I was living a workaholic lifestyle not suitable for kids.
I'm confused, didn't Miller put it on paper that Ben and Bailey would be her legal guardians??? Because i remember there was an episode, i think after Pruitt died, when he was writing his will and he had it in hand when he asked Vic first, then Ben said yes and then what happened...???
Did Ben sign it? Shouldn't be legal or did i just imagine the whole thing?
Of course, he never involved me in the process, or told me either. I’m not sure how that works, legally. But this could be the reason why he’s forcing nursing services on me, even though I do my own housekeeping and prepare my own meals, and go outside a few times a week, and drive my own car.
And he attempted to make my first stepmother (I had 3 in total) my personal assistant. In the past, my dad has provided a job and a home for her, but has been cheating behind her back continuously (and even brought me along to meet with the people he was cheating with). But she has been going back and forth to him after the divorce and moved in with him for a few years, and then moved out.
I told my first stepmother that I would be terminating the services, and I said I didn’t want to be infantilized, and she…doesn’t know what infantilized means. She doesn’t have the biggest vocabulary. She couldn’t even read the form properly without his help.
And of course, my father was raging over the phone. He kept repeating “she NEEDS to be there, bottom line, she NEEDS to be there”. He said he would call back yesterday, but he hasn’t called or texted at all yet.
So now I found out that my case manager called him and he told her that he’s my legal guardian and he has power of attorney over me. But she still told him that he has no legal access to my medical or insurance records. I did mention that he abused me in the past, and it’s probably too late for me to prove it. But my dad has some legal experience and experience with being his mother’s guardian before she died. I’m certain he’ll find a way to bend the case manager to his will.
So, now I know that he can put me in a group home or another subsidized housing project near him after he gets to move to Florida.
it’s 21+ or 18+ with a legal guardian 30+ so if anyone who is going to the show is willing to just walk in with me so i can go and then go our separate ways that would be amazing.
edit: it’s the wednesday show not thursday
