Guardians of the galaxy
πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
The Guardian with a spicy caption to this mildly interesting post
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If you are a bouncer at a Samsung’s, does that make you a guardian of the galaxy
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HodeYourBalls
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If Groot had kids, and one of them betrayed the guardians

it would be treason.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wotmate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Who is guardian of the galaxy?

The security guard at a Samsung store

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Watching "Guardians of the Galaxy" with dad

Me: Huh, I forgot James Gunn directed this.

Dad: Yeah, the studio decided they'd give him a shot.

Me: ...thanks, dad.

Dad: Hey, I thought about it, and decided to pull the trigger.

πŸ‘︎ 617
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PlayTheBanjo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
🚨︎ report
So i was talking to my dad about guardians of the galaxy and when i mentioned Chris Pratt my dad sighs and says...

I dont know how parents can be mean enough to name their child after a fried rodent.. and i just sat there looking at him confused until he whispered...... "crisp rat"

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LordDobbington
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2018
🚨︎ report
I met the guardian of high-potency drugs the other day.

He was the Fentanyl Sentinel

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenpachi_Ramsama
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
My dad went to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2...

Me: How was the movie? My dad: It was Groot.

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/camelopardalisx
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2017
🚨︎ report
Girlfriend got me during Guardians of the Galaxy

Talk about the alien race called the kree

Me: The Kree were on the agents of shield tv show

Gf: That's Kree-zy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MattAzrael
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Going to see Guardians of the Galaxy...

me: Are we using your car or my car?

dad: I don't know. Why?

me: Just wondering.

dad: makes a little smirk Well don't wander off too far...

I usually facepalm a few seconds after I say "wondering".

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slowww2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2014
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards who guard Samsung stores.

Guardians of the Galaxies

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beingjac
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
🚨︎ report
5 Terrible Puns
  1. It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.

  2. If I'm the night guard at the Samsung store, does that make me a… Guardian of the Galaxy

  3. I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

  4. I Googled β€œHow to start a Wildfire”. I got 48,500 matches.

  5. I accidentally drank a little food colouring last night. I ended up dying inside.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If you're the parent of a kid named Zoey, what does that make you?
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insteadoflattes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Samsung store’s security guard

A guardian of the Galaxy Credit:u/eatsleeprepeat101_

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hidininthetrees
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I hear that Samsung are employing security guards at all their stores now...

...does this make them...Guardians of the Galaxy?

:D

Hotter half shared that with me the other day. We're trying to build up our dad joke repertoire with a recently arrived bub.

EDIT: for removal of apostrophe

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scalesthefish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2015
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security in a Samsung Store?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 531
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guard at the Samsung store?

A guardian of the galaxy!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security outside of a SAMSUNG store?

Guardian of the galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zayer96
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Security at Samsung?

The Guardians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call the guards of a Samsung store?

The Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gamingfreak207
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Samsung’s security team?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sportznut1000
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I Did A Dad Joke on My Dad

My Dad: "I'm looking to find a new job doing security."

Me: "You should apply to be a security guard at the Samsung store."

My Dad: "Why?"

Me: "So you can be a Guardian of the Galaxies."

πŸ‘︎ 127
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/blumonk3y
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you know what they call the security guards at Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/detrickster
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security guard at a samsung store

Guardian of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-_Anirban_-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security at a Samsung factory.

Guardians of the galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/J4KE95
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samuelcbadams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung factory?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store?

>!Guardians of the Galaxy.!<

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security at Samsung?

The Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr-cereal
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?

Guardians of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lbrooks13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2019
🚨︎ report
If there are security guards outside of a Samsung store does that mean they are

Guardians of the Galaxy?

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a security guard at Samsung?

Guardian of the Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 121
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Big3151
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside a Samsung store!

Guardians of the Galaxy!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2019
🚨︎ report
If you work security at Samsung

Does that make you a guardian of the Galaxy. My kid was in stitches when he told us this one.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OZBigfoott
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards at the Samsung store

Guardians of the galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Noah84843
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
How do you call guards of a Samsung store?

Guardians of the galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Saying
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
What's a security guard called at the Samsung store?

Guardian of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rubeva_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the guards working at Samsung?

Guardians of the Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/4ost
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guard working at the Samsung store?

Guardian of the galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mxlberrybush
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2018
🚨︎ report
If I’m a security guard at Samsung

Does that make me one of the Guardians of the Galaxy?

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call security guards at a Samsung store?

Guardians Of The Galaxy.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InsecureTurdPilot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung?

The Guardians Of The Galaxy

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Homer_Simpson2
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2018
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.