Divorce is strong with this one.
So I fondled her boobs.
“Now this takes me back”
The other answered "16. Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer"
I told him "oh you know... horns... hooves..."
I wonder if that wizard practices Bark Magic.
Audrey Hipburn.
“Now blow the candles”
John Candle and Rick Candle were ecstatic
'when I was your age, I was six.'
She is engaging in wristicuffs.
Sometimes I wonder if I am the dad or if she is.
In the Sith Grade
May the 4th be with you!
That’s just how I roll.
I looked up at it, leaned a few degrees to the side and said "looks ok to me!"
Ground beef.
Eiffel.
His long-time wife was sitting in the first row at his funeral, when a man she didn't recognize came up and sat next to her.
"Do you mind if I say a word?" he asked. "No not at all. He meant so much to so many people."
The man walked up to the microphone and said: "PLETHORA" then sat back down.
Crying, the woman leaned over to him and said, "Thank you... That means a lot."
That’s how I roll.
He was leaning too far to the right.
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.
...the first one says "So, how's it going?"
The second one sighs and shakes his head, "Not good to be honest pal. I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me and my wife is leaving me."
The first one replies 'Well, try not to lose any sheep over it."
I can’t believe he annoyed the singer too! She composed a song on the spot, even better she guessed his name right.
“Joe, lean. Joe, lean. Joe lean!”
I guess its too right-leaning for them
Souper-man
He asks the widow “May I say a word?” And she agrees.
The man stands up and says “Plethora”
When he sits down. The widow leans over and says “Thank you, that means a lot.”
My partner is pregnant with our first child. Very happy.
During the ultrasounds, the lady doing it said, "And here you can see the largest artery coming out straight from the heart."
I was sitting next to my partner. I leaned over to her and said, "Aorta make sure that's looking good."
We all sighed. It was great.
I felt your presents!
A mom makes breakfast for her 3 sons and asks them which ones they prefer.
She asks the oldest some first “son what will it be waffles or pancakes?” The boy says “I’ll have the Fucking waffles” The mom immediately smacks him in the head and says “what the matter with you!? Go to your room!” She looks at the middle son and says “what will it be waffles or pancakes” The boy says “I’ll have the fucking pancakes!” The mom immediately smacks him in the head and says “what in the world!?! What’s wrong with you!? Go to your room!” She then looks and the baby boy who looks very confused and scared She looks at the little boy and says “what will it be pancakes or waffles?” The little boy pauses nervously.. looks at both options and says… “idk…but i definitely don’t want the fucking pancakes or waffles….”
... that's just how I roll
You might not like it, but that's just how I roll.
Eiffel.
That’s just how I roll.
Ground beef
That’s just how I roll.
That’s just how I roll.
That's how I roll.
Because it’s in Italyics
That’s just how I roll.
That’s just how I roll.
That's just how I roll..
Because that’s how I roll.
That's just how I roll.
My friend Joe went on the Dolly Parton diet
It made Joe lean Joe lean Joe leeeean
It really got Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean Joe lean
