I was trying to create a super soldier in my lab, but I accidentally created a very thin man who could tell the future.
At least I was still able to make a slight prophet.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 19 2021
"Hey man so I was walking trough the forest yesterday and I came across this complete freak. He was laughably tall and thin and wore a suit in the woods like a weirdo. I'm certain he's some kind of psycho stalker."
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 24 2021
My embarrassing hobby is covering the fifth letter of the alphabet in a thin layer of gold β¦
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 29 2021
Once I finally finished installing the thin wood flooring in my large living room, I thought to myself...
π︎ 3
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︎ May 06 2021
Never make love to a thin piece of wood without using protection.
If you forget, you might get a veneereal disease.
π︎ 2
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︎ Apr 07 2021
My Wife got a thin crust pizza for dinner. It reminded me a lot of myself:
No dough and lots of cheese.
π︎ 19
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︎ Mar 01 2021
It doesnβt matter if youβre tall, short, fat, thin, rich, poor, at the end of the day....
π︎ 237
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︎ Dec 05 2020
My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...
Ahh. I get it. Itβs a viscous cycle.
π︎ 26
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Apparently a lot of sniffer dogs are just vanishing into thin air.
Police say, they have several leads.
π︎ 6
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Thin soup
π︎ 315
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︎ May 16 2020
People ask me why you so thin
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I've been trying out some new knitting patterns, but I think my yarn is too thin
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 04 2020
My uncle's friend won the Olympic gold with an epee made from a disposable thin metal sheet often used in cooking...
It was a good aluminum foil
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 05 2020
How does the Queen (of England) stay so thin?
She keeps all her pounds in the bank.
π︎ 8
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︎ Oct 10 2020
I don't like thin pancakes..
π︎ 53
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︎ Jun 15 2020
What do you a thin turtle that is a god?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 09 2020
What do you call a tall, thin girl with big feet?
π︎ 9
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︎ Sep 05 2020
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shoutedβ¦
π︎ 355
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︎ Dec 27 2019
I tried to rob a bank but the vault was covered in a thin layer of aluminum
Needless to say, my plans were foiled
π︎ 18
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︎ Jun 19 2020
I'm going to show you a magic trick and make two bras out of thin air
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 08 2020
*pulls candy bar out of thin air*
Kid: WOW are you a magician?
Me: no, but I have a couple of twix up my sleeve
π︎ 80
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︎ Feb 01 2020
You canβt just manufacture a dad joke out of thin air!
Iβd at least need my tool box.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 31 2020
Someone keeps putting very thin sheet metal around my garden...
They keep foiling my plot!
π︎ 17
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︎ Mar 01 2020
A friend of mine spotted a customer who looked quite thin
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 03 2017
A man was on trial for producing cents covered in a thin layer of gold...
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 04 2020
My workmate's patience is running thin
π︎ 44
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︎ Mar 12 2019
My friend said "My patience is running paper thin right now"
π︎ 302
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︎ Aug 26 2018
What do you call two thin guys hanging on your wall above a window ...
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 26 2019
I replaced my bowstring with a thin tree limb.
It will break eventually, but it hasn't yet, so I'll nock on wood!
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 30 2019
I miss my SO a lot. I end up kissing and hugging thin air and she says it makes me look ridiculous. How do I recalibrate my aim? (r/fifthworldproblems)
reddit.com/r/fifthworldprβ¦
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jan 15 2018
What do you call white thin bricks
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
If soft drinks came long, thin, wooden tubes, it would be fantastick.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 27 2019
I'd just like to thank my legs for supporting me through thick and thin.
And my arms for being by my side for all these years.
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 01 2019
What do you call a thin skeleton?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 06 2018
Whatβs white, thin, and colored on by kids?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 03 2019
My magician friendβs signature trick is to make cute kittens appear out of thin air.
His stage name is The Wizard of Awwws.
π︎ 18
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︎ Aug 05 2018
Do you know why vegans are so thin?
They have no meat on their bones.
π︎ 8
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︎ May 21 2018
I was cutting cabbage real thin when I cut myself...
...It was Murphyβs Law and coleslaw colliding.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 30 2017
I suddenly forgot what a piece of clothing was. I explained it to my son: "It's a long piece of thin fabric, it goes around your neck, usually worn with a shirt?"
π︎ 2
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︎ Feb 07 2018
What do you call the marriage of a thin potato to a vat of hot oil?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 06 2017
A large group of fat economists probably get better results than a small group of thin economists.
Due to the economists of scale.
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 27 2016
"The walls are so thin..
My Dad said to me a while ago.. "The walls are so thin at my house, I can hear the neighbours changing their minds!"
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 10 2014
I walked into a bank, pointed a long, thin piece of wood at the ceiling and shoutedβ¦
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 11 2020
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?
He had a lot of Twix up his sleeve
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Sep 12 2015
How did the magician make a candy bar appear out of thin air?
He had twix up his sleeve
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 01 2015
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