Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you're thinking)
Not what you're thinking.
If you are thinking of settling down, here’s some advice: Don’t date soccer players.
There’s only a 1/11 chance that they’re a keeper.
Mom: I'm thinking of making pasta or taco for dinner. What are you thoughts?
Dad: Those are the little voices that say things inside my head.
My wife sometimes has trouble thinking of the right word for things. This morning, she asked me "what's it called when you have no bars?" Without missing a beat, I told her...
"Prohibition." She wasn't as amused as I was, I'm afraid.
When you are thinking of an amazing idea and it suddenly disappears, it should be called an epoofany
I asked my wife, “ I’m thinking of starting an exercise routine. What do you suggest?”
Her: Why don’t you try lunges?
Me: That sounds like a huge step.
If any of you single *fellas here are thinking of getting married, consider the following before you do:
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
I'm thinking of buying this wardrobe what do you guys think?
If you're thinking of becoming a philosopher, be mindful of many things.
I was thinking of telling you my best pizza joke...
I have a pair of non-prescription glasses made of diamond; and I know what you're thinking
Dad: Are you thinking of doing a PhD?
Dad: Are you thinking of doing a PhD?
Me: pffffffft
Dad: oh is that how it's pronounced
[OC (I think)] What do you call the child of a civil engineer?
My friends and I were playing a game where you have to think of famous Johns. The game ends if you pick a John that is no longer with us.
It's all fun and games until someone gets Hurt.
If you think 2020 was bad, just wait a couple of years.
Because 2022 is 2020 too.
Why is six afraid of seven? (Punchline is not what you think)
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, “So what do you think of The View?”
I said, “Whoopi Goldberg is ok, but I don’t like the other women on the show.”
What did you think of the two antennas’ wedding?
The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was great!
How many egg puns can you people think of
What do you guys think of german sausages?
I think they are the wurst
Two ninjas are sneaking up on their target when one of the ninjas asks the other: "do you think you can hit him from here?" and the ninja says:
Like a good Grandpa I share with my 12 yr old Grandson the amazement of r/dadjokes regularly. He thinks you all are totally cool. I told him there is much power here. How? He asked. Let me demonstrate... With the diahrrea song.. I'll start.
Some people think it's gross but it's really good on toast. Diahrrea...
How do you think they measure the weight of bones?
They probably Skel-a-Ton at a time!
When you think of 2020, what’s the first thing that comes to mind?
Coronavirus, right off the bat.
*sighs* You know what melancholy flowers make me think of?
I was on a game show and the final question was "What do you call a 3D painting made out of plaster?" I couldn't think of the answer and I was worried I'd lose all of the money. Then I got it right!
What kind of house do you think you can pick up!?
I’m not very bright but I’m pretty sure I can pick up a Light House!
He does have a cents of humour don't you think?
Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas,
Get them a fridge and watch their face light up as they open it.
If you can think of a better fish pun than me
I don’t think you understand the gravity of this situation
My son borrows money from me every week, so I told him, “I don’t think you understand the seriousness of your debt situation.”
He said, “Oh please. You should really give me a bit more credit.”
Didn't think of this, did you
Do you think that Terry Pegula's kids ever get tired of him saying, as he's headed out the door to work ...
"Time to go pay the Bills."?
I've been creating sketches in invisible ink. Can you think of anyone else who has done that?
I was at a concert of which a Scandinavian woman was playing on stage, one of my friends turns to me and remarks “I wonder if she’s from Sweden” another friend says “maybe Norway?” My final friend asks “do you thinks she’s Finnish?”
I boastfully reply “I fucking hope not she’s only been on five minutes”
I think this will resonate with a lot of you here.
I making a game full of terrible, wonderful, puns. What do you guys think?
Can you think of a good Star Wars pun?
Why is six afraid of seven?
Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.
Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary. Six is afraid of Seven because he is a damn psychopath.
9 yo daughter: "You know, dad; I think I have your sense of humour."
Me (rather pleased): "Really?"
Her: "Yes. Would you like it back?"
A father and son were sitting in the woods.
Son: Dad, do trees poop?
Dad: Of course son, how do you think we get #2 pencils.
Why is 6 afraid of 7? (The answer is not what you are thinking)
Not what you are thinking.
For people on this sub who are thinking of getting married, consider this carefully before you do.
On the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
Why is 6 afraid of 7 (The answer is what you are thinking)
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