He's quite the realthor.
"Get off my mother's grave, NOW!"
The scientists were brainstorming.
Because he was thorsty.
He had a Thor Thumb.
It’s taking the world by storm! (Help me)
He must be Mighty Thor.
It's easy: it stands out like a Thor Sum.
There’s thunder down under
To which I responded “It certainly will when you take it out.” I accepted the long awkward silence that followed as thunderous applause.
Because thunder and lightning, very very frightening.
It was feeling mis-thunder-stood
“Pop”, goes the weasel.
So I said, that's because you have thunder thighs.
OKC may have stolen the Thunder, but Seattle's still got the Storm.
Not many people are aware of its existence but I assure that it is there all the same. The king of this little land faces a lot of difficulty. He wants to make his kingdom into a sovereign nation but unfortunately they do not have the infrastructure, population, or economy to do so. In fact, this small state is only known for a single export. Thanks to their proximity to some of the finest gold and other metals in the world but total lack of an ability to process those metals on a mass scale, they have been left with only one option. You know the saying; when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. Make lemonade they did. This tiny territory is renowned for creating the highest quality watches in the world. No expense is spared and their elite group of craftsmen train for their entire lives from childhood to produce these terrific timepieces. Men of great wealth and taste have been known to trade entire fortunes for just a single one of these watches; that is how valuable they are.
The... keep reading on reddit ➡
Im a smart 15yo boy, just trying to invent a machine that can direct thunder where I want.
I got grounded
He gets off the horse and loudly exclaims "I am Thor!"
To which one of the towns people reply "That's because you forgot your thaddle thilly."
It's raining really bad right now (we live in Florida). There's rain, thunder & lighting. I was in my bedroom when we hear a loud thunder clap. I heard my daughter scream & I instinctively ran to her room. She sees me, starts to laugh & says "daddy, I wasn't that scared". I reply "sorry baby, I was just checking". She goes "I'm ok, it just shocked me" & then laughed.
I have written this book to sweep away all misunderstandings about the crafty art of punnery and to convince you that the pun is well worth celebrating.... After all, the pun is mightier than the sword, and these days you are much more likely to run into a pun than into a sword. [A pun is a witticism involving the playful use of a word in different senses, or of words which differ in meaning but sound alike.]
Scoffing at puns seems to be a conditioned reflex, and through the centuries a steady barrage of libel and slander has been aimed at the practice of punning. Nearly three hundred years ago John Dennis sneered, “A pun is the lowest form of wit,” a charge that has been butted and rebutted by a mighty line of pundits and punheads.
Henry Erskine, for example, has protested that if a pun is the lowest form of wit, “It is, therefore, the foundation of all wit.” Oscar Levant has added a tag line: “A pun is the lowest form of humor—when you don’t think of it first.” John Crosbie and Bob... keep reading on reddit ➡
My dad just cracked this great one
> Mum: You men don't know what it's like going through the menopause
This is when he looks at me and tells me to stop what I'm doing and stand completely still, he leaves me like this for about 5 seconds before going
> Dad: There we've been through the menopause, men are paused.
He walked off chuckling to himself leaving my mum with a face of thunder.
Went to use a public toilet and there was a father and his young son using the urinal, after the dad finished his business he let a fart rip (as you do).
His young son got a bit of a shock and asked, 'what was that?!', to which the father smugly replied 'can't have rain without thunder!'.
The son came thundering down the stairs, much to his father's annoyance.
So he said, he said, "How many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now, go back up and come down like a civilized human being."
There was a silence, and the son reappeared in the front room. So his father said, he said, "That's better. Now will you always come down stairs like that."
So the son said, he said, "Suits me - I slid down the bannister."
Chinese dude here.
Every time we have dinner with extended family, we'll have a whole steamed fish as one of the courses.
My dad will usually be the person to cut up and distribute the fish among the family.
Every time he does that, he'll use the spoon and fork to make the fish mouth "thunder, thunder, THUNDERCATS! HOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" before cutting up the fish followed by this shit-eating grin around the table. No one above the age of 14 laughs.
The younger cousins find this funny and that's probably why my dad keeps doing it every freaking time.
Just my dad's thing.