My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry puns
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
Why is Billy Joel’s laundry still wet?
He Didn’t Start The Dryer.
What brand of laundry detergent does a fisherman use?
Why did Blondie start making her own laundry detergent?
Because the Tide is high.
Saw a guy flipping some of the laundry detergent at the store today, and I asked him what he was doing.
He responded with a smile and said, "The tides have turned."
i always procrastinate doing laundry
Why are panties always at the bottom of the laundry basket?
Because they are undergarments.
You need to be smart to do laundry.
Otherwise you're an Oxi-moron.
Laundry can be therapeutic
It takes a load off the mind
My wife told me that after this next load she's never doing laundry again
She just threw in the towel.
My friend was carrying his laundry to the washer
He tripped and fell
When he saw me he was embarrassed and said, “we’re you there the whole time?”
I said, “yep, I watched the whole thing unfold.”
What’s the best laundry detergent to use at the beach?
I’m sure most people will say Tide, but really, any surfactant will do.
My mum was doing the laundry....
When she found some loose coins in one of my pants.
She then told me come and collect my laundered money.
I just bought a German laundry dryer
Its setting are ein, zwei, dry.
This just happened as my wife was folding laundry
"I'll stay out of your way so I don't hamper your style."
Which US state has the highest laundry detergent usage?
I found $20 in my laundry
I think someone is money laundering.
My attempt to clean my dusty graduation cap in the laundry didn't work out so well,
But at least I gave it the old college dry.
My son asked me why I wash the laundry in Tide.
I told him "cuz it's too damn cold out tide."
My friend dropped all his dirty laundry today..
Emphasis on laundry rotation
The only place where racism is still acceptable is in the Laundry Room...
...as you seperate the whites from the other colors.
Last night my wife and I had a huge fight, about who's going to do the laundry.
did my laundry, and at the bottom of my basket were a couple of crumpled $1s
As I smoothed them out for folding, my wife looked over at me, so I said "laundered money"
True story
There was an accident at the Laundry Detergent Manufacturing plant...
A tank filled with Tide crashed into another tank filled with All. A bunch of employees got absolutely covered and had to run out of the building.
I guess you could say it ended up being a real Tide All wave.
I just can’t seem to get along with people who obsess over and think about laundry all the time….
They’re just so clothes-minded.
I'm almost out of laundry detergent.
I hope I have enough to Tide myself over.
A friend of mine told me he hired a pig to do his laundry...
Sounds like a load of hogwash.
OMG, the commute home was awful last night! Ya see, a tractor trailer carry laundry detergent crashed and spilled detergent all over all four lanes...
Traffic was Tide up for hours.
What do mermaids use to wash their laundry?
Don't be worried about your smartphone and TV spying on you
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years!
I was searching through my wife and I's laundry to find what appeared to be my underwear.
And for a brief moment, I was right
I just did my laundry and now I’m super nervous
I’ve got a lot on the line.
What state does the most laundry?
My new washer and dryer room is so cramped, I can barely carry my laundry in and out.
Who stole Miss issippi’s New Jersey?
My wife and I were in bed the other day. I leaned over and whispered, “Talk dirty to me.”
She said: “The dishes need to be washed, the laundry needs to be done, the toilet needs to be scrubbed…”
Why does my laundromat refuse to raise the laundry rates?
I am Iron Man
This morning my fiancé said to me:
“Technically you’re iron man”
Me: “is this going to descend into something about me doing the ironing?” (I was sorting laundry at the time)
Him: “you’re female. Fe is Iron, male is man, therefore you’re iron man”
I rolled my eyes so hard I could see my spine.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I couldn't reach my Nirvana CD buried beneath all of my laundry.
Something (was) In The Way.
My wife wonders how I am able to straighten and fold all the clothes so fast after laundry.
Laundry can be funny
Me: I’m doing laundry today.
Friend: Sounds like fun.
Me: Loads
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Why was Billy Joel's laundry still wet?
He didn't start the dryer.
The commute home was awful last night! A tractor trailer that carried laundry detergent crashed and spilled detergent all over all four lanes...
Traffic was Tide up for hours.
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