I found a lamp that said that if I rubbed it, a genie would come out and grant me three wishes, but when I did it nothing happened
I must have rubbed him the wrong way
Somebody broke into my house and only stole my coffee, my lamp and my parrot.
I don't know how they sleep at night.
Imagine if Aladdin took place in Italy and when he finally finds the lamp and gives it a good rub, out pops...
A man finds a magic lamp
He runs the lamp and a genie pops outs, and says, “I’ll grant you three wishes, but your ex wife gets twice whatever you wish for.” The man thinks for a minute and says,
“Okay first wish is for a million dollars.”
“Okay” says the genie, “your ex wife also now has two million dollars”
The man thinks for another minute and says, “ I wish for a Lamborghini”
“As you wish” says the genie “your ex now has two Lamborghinis”
Finally after a few minutes the man says, “for my final wish, I wanna be beaten half to death”
I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...
What happens when you run a magical lamp underwater?
What do you call a smart guy in a lamp?
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
A burglar stole all my lamps
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight. ;)
A man walks into his home to realize that all his lamps were stolen
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, “Because I am feeling light headed.”
What did the sad lamp say when plugged in?
I finally feel better now that I’ve got an emotional outlet.
A man entered his home and discovered that someone had stolen every single lamp present in the house.
He was absolutely delighted.
You know how when you find a Genie's lamp, you're supposed to rub it?
Does that mean when you find a Frog's lamp, you Ribbit?
I bought a lamp for my friend
Son: There's a life-sized "Leg lamp" at the light display! It's like 4 feet tall!
Me: No, it's only one foot.
This post was made by the lamp squad.
If you have a lava lamp in your basement...
...isn't it a magma lamp?
A young boy finds a magic lamp
He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says, “What is your first wish?”
The kid says, “I wish I were rich!” The genie replies, “It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?”
Why did the lamps get arrested?
They were in some shady business
What did the lamps do after their date
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
What is cold and stands under a street lamp?
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
Why do lamps make people happy?
They bring delight.
My 7-year-old son told me this at the breakfast table this morning. He is going to be a great dad one day.
Martin finds an old oil lamp
Genie: "You get three wishes. I can't kill anybody, I can't make anybody fall in love, I can't bring anybody back from the dead, and you can't wish for more wishes."
Alladin: "I wish that I was rich!"
Genie: "Done."
Rich: "... I wish that I have a lot of money."
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though the wife reckons it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
Did you hear about the young genie who got a job and moved out of his parents' lamp to a one bedroom necklace?
Ya know why you can’t bury a lava lamp?
What did the oil lamp say to the flickering candle?
Do you want to go out sometime soon?
A man stumbles upon a lamp and a genie pops out and offers him 3 wishes.
Man: “For my first wish I'd like to be rich."
Genie: “Alright Rich, what's your second wish".
My wife just admitted that she broke my favorite lamp.
I don’t think I can look at her in the same light ever again.
Why was the lamp not heavy?
A burglar stole all of my lamps! I should be upset...
A burglar stole all my lamps
I should be upset but I am delighted
To the person who stole my lamp, my coffee and my parrot:
I dont know how you sleep at night
A burglar stole all of my lamps.
I should be upset, but actually I’m delighted!
A burgular stole all my lamps.
I should be upset... but I'm delighted.
A kid finds a magical lamp.
He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears and says: “What is your first wish?”
The kid says: “I wish I were rich!”
The genie replies: “It is done! What is your second wish, Rich?”
A burglar stole all of my lamps
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Someone broke into my house and stole all my lamps
I should be upset but I’m delighted
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted.
A theif stole all my lamps...
I should be upset but I'm delighted
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