How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?

Normally three, but Toucan.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
How many opticians does it take to change a light bulb?

One…or two? One…or two?

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xero19
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
How many ravens does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It’s imPOEsible to tell

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?

Ideally three, but Toucan.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MsUneek
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SGT-R0CK
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
How does a Karen screw in a light bulb?

She puts it in the socket and expects the world to revolve around her.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cedar_Nomad
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, they are very efficient and have no sense of humor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/danspud69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moony-7
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09
🚨︎ report
I tried to taste the hot light bulb

But I got my tungstenned.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/within_kamath23
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19
🚨︎ report
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.

It was a soft white.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
How many people with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hey wanna go play catch?

(My dad's newest)

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Thedarkplayr
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.

That was the highlight of my day.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I crossed the road, changed a light bulb and walked into a bar.

My life is turning into a joke

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I changed a light bulb, crossed the street and walked into a bar

My life is a joke

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03
🚨︎ report
How many amoeba does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  1. No, 2. No wait 4! 8 16 32...
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/My_Name_Is_JoeJoe
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
How many hipsters does it take to fix a light bulb?

It's a pretty obscure number. You've probably never heard of it.

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/space0watch
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
How many country singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how much better the old one was.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tgglas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A Brazilian.c..

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joeskies307
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 2. But the real question is, how did they get in there?

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ToeKneeh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They’re efficient and not very funny.

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/m1ngaa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans it takes to change a bulb?

One brazilian

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Abhilegend
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

One Brazilian

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Brugink
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08
🚨︎ report
How many deadbeat dads does it take to change a light bulb?
  • i dont know

Me neither mom usually does it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ADDrenalgland
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
How many catholics does it take to change a light bulb?

nun

πŸ‘︎ 138
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/astronautredlight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Today, I crossed the street, changed a light bulb, and walked into a bar.

My life is a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans takes to change a bulb?

Juan

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Plus4lex44Plus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but it’s kind of cramped.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NudlePockets
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
How many optometrists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1 or 2?

1 or 2?

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Thomas Edison able to invent the light bulb?

Because he was very bright

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/memesneverdie77
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a light bulb is falling into a trash can?

It’s in-can-descent

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and another to give it an unexpected twist at the end.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoggenstein123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Don't eat light bulbs.

It's not a bright idea for a light snack.

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/One_Day_Dead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How many grammar police does it take to change a light bulb?

Too...

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kdryan1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just 2, just don't ask how they got in there.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Markliebs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about writing a book about light bulbs

I think its a bright idea

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PdawgUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How many egomaniacs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one, he holds the bulb up and the world revolves around him

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anassis
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pothocketbubbles
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Juan

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoningFristi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the man open his mouth in front of the bulb?

He was advised to have light meals only.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rbwj
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Two Watt Bulbs

A man walks into a hardware store and speaks to the cashier.

"Have you any two watt bulbs?"

"For what?"

"That'll do, I'll take two."

"Two what?"

"I thought you didn't have any?"

"Any what?"

"Yes please!"

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leec05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Just got hired at a light bulb company.

They said I had some bright ideas.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tortoise_tourist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
How many atheists does it take to change a light bulb?

Doesn't matter, they never truly see the light.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Midnight_g
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How many strippers does it take to change a light bulb?

My wife reads these, I’m not answering that!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/orion808
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Advice needed: I was asked to turn on a light bulb.

And I suck at flirting. I’m in the dark on this one.

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How many β€œsuh dudes” does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Doesn’t matter, it’s already lit brah.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xoXoxo58
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. They're quite efficient, and not very funny.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ehlodex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Whatever.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why didn't the dim light bulb go to college

It wasn't very bright

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanshort1309
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Hey, wanna go ride bikes?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Swillie04
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Whoever invented the light bulb was brilliant.

Just a bit of light humor there.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How many people without a sense of humor does it take to change a light bulb?

One

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
🚨︎ report
How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two... but how did they get in there?

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Norseman4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about writing a book about light bulbs.

I think its a pretty bright idea

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Accidentally swallowed a bulb and now I feel light-headed.
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My nephew just called us into the living room, saying "Dad, Uncle Squigles, all the light bulbs blew!"

We walked into him giggling having just asked Alexa to change the lights to blue.

My brother is still cracking up and very proud.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSquigles
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How many sisters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

NUN

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/powerpass
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2018
🚨︎ report
How many nihilists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NW_91
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How many sheep does it take to change a light bulb?

One. As long as he has enough lambition.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/niggety
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just Juan.

(Friend told me this)

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Liv_Kato
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2019
🚨︎ report
SO YOU HEAR ABOUT THE LIGHT BULB PARTY

I heard it was pretty lit

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ddog224
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Freudians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two.

One to screw in the light bulb, and the other to hold his dick... I mean my dad... I MEAN THE LADDER!

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MDangerhole
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the deaf light bulb say when it got proposed to?

Watt?

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PinkyPomegranate
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2018
🚨︎ report
How many fruit flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. The trick is getting them in there.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/djhorne
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Some people eat light bulbs

I guess they think it is a light snack

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SideOfInsanity
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I stared at a bulb for 5 minutes.

It was lit.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/admiral_nuts
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the old lamp say to the new light bulb?

You've got a bright future, kid.

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elteon3030
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
How many grammar nazis does it take to change a light bulb?

Too

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yeahmaybe2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Why does it take 10 German electricians to change a light bulb?

Because many Hans make light work.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stooby2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I came home the other day and found out that all the bulbs in my house have been stolen...

I was delighted.

πŸ‘︎ 862
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SiroccoTheDawn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Thieves broke into the police station and stole all their light-bulbs.

Police are in the dark as to a motive.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I guess the trip to the bulb emporium was....

... Illuminating

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
🚨︎ report
How many Dutchman does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, most tulip, daffodil, or hyacinth bulbs don't weigh very much.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How many therapists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but it has to really want to change.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_a_song_to_me
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
🚨︎ report
How many people with amnesia does it take to change a light bulb?

To get to the other side.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/51MOE
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2, but I don't know how they got in there.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Crimreap3r
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
How many caravan migrants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. Caravan migrants screw in tents.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I stared at the ceiling bulb glowing for a long time

It was the high-light of my life.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AbelianTensor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
How many mosquito's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only 2, no idea how they got there

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shanegreen82
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2017
🚨︎ report
How many millennials does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's already lit, fam.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/C4NDL3J4CK666
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the light bulb party?

Yeah it was lit.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TatorTots24680
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
Light Bulbs
πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/goforbaroque
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2015
🚨︎ report
How many coders does it take to change a light bulb?

None, that's a hardware problem.

πŸ‘︎ 359
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Notamayata
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Some light bulbs had a party last night

It was LIT!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cantankerousrat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2018
🚨︎ report
How many dads does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they prefer Natural Light.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/G_ben_flowes
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edgydonut
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cavanaughphoto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I crossed a road, changed a light bulb and walked into a bar.

My life is turning into a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Yesterday, I crossed a road, changed a light bulb and walked into a bar.

My life is turning into a joke.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

JUAN

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/duding_prick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rotimi_babalola
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb

Nun.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Shenalord
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

A Brazilian

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pdurrr
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
🚨︎ report
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?

Just Juan.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report
How many South Americans does it take to change a light bulb

A Brazilian.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Man walks into a hardware store...."Any two-watt bulbs?" "For what?" "That'll do. I'll take two." "Two what?" "I thought you didn't have any." "Any what?" "Yes please."
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simple613
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
🚨︎ report

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