What did the tulip say to the cheating rose?

β€œDon’t you be dandelion to me!”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CameronC7
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08
🚨︎ report
Where do tulips like to sleep?

In a flower bed

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/climbcolorado
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
My wife said that all our tulips have come out now...

Who’d have thought ....gay tulips !

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
Me to My kid: "I heard you've been planting trees, son! Why don't you plant Tulips?.."

Nvm, not from Alabama

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cracksniffer666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you grow the brightest tulips?

You start with a light bulb.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My boyfriend reminding me he likes tulips.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HomocusPocus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
What flower can kiss two people at once?

A tulip

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Theodot1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a light powered by a couple of lips?

A tulip bulb

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Angoram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16
🚨︎ report
Which gardens are most talkative?

The ones with tulips

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/t-sigh
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
How does a gardener wistle?

He presses his tulips together.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chlumsy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
What type of flowers are the best at kissing?

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TurboAxolotl
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
How did the Gardener blow a whistle

He used his tulips

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slashr7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
What's better than having roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ....

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mike561991
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
Date proposal

Let's go on a date you can help me plant tulips

Tulips around this dick

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/macrei420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers.

In all honesty, I didn’t know she sold flowers.

πŸ‘︎ 627
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenAdam321
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
🚨︎ report
How many lips does a flower have

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 253
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steventhebeliven
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What kinda flowers are on your face?

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/manyu_abee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
You can't plant flowers if you haven't botany.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jupiiters
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2017
🚨︎ report
How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dsgorman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
While my wife and I were dating in high school we were at this church lock in. I said, β€œCan’t wait till we get outta here and I can plant one on ya” she said, β€œWhat kinda flower”

No hesitation I say, β€œTulips”

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vHRenegade
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
A man goes to see his father at his parents house

They both sit and start chatting

Son : how was your doctors appointment?

Dad: good!the doctor gave me different medication for my memory loss

Son : oh really ? What are the name of the pills?

Dad : ( struggling to remember ) oohh...uhhh.... something to do with flowers but I can’t remember

Son: tulips ?

Dad: no , they’re very popular and everyone loves them .

Son : daisies?

Dad : no! They are bright red and romantic

Son : rose ?

Dad: YES. He loudly yells ROSE, WHAT ARE THE PILLS CALLED THAT THE DOCTOR GAVE ME?

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MNMKandyKane
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
The only joke that I know

What's better than roses on your Piano? Tulips on your Organ!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
🚨︎ report
How many Dutchman does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, most tulip, daffodil, or hyacinth bulbs don't weigh very much.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call 2 flowers kissing?

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaden22VG
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What sort of flowers grow on your face?

Tulips..

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrRedneck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Your average mug shot
πŸ‘︎ 165
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Streaplerz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2013
🚨︎ report
What kind of flowers do you take to a smooch concert?

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/booksmeller1124
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Listening to Kiss from a Rose by Seal

Wife: This is a really strange song. I mean do roses even have lips?

Me: No but I know what plant does.

Wife: ?

Me: Tulips.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DPAtheCPA
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
what flowers are the best kissers?

tulips.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Hot Dog Toppings

I was telling my Dad about a new hot dog stand in town and how they would put nacho cheese, pepperoni's, French's onion rings, etc. He said "I like tulips on mine." Confused I said "Tulips? What the hell?" and he pointed to his mouth and said "These two lips right here."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Whats the only flower that grows on a face?

Tulips

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/slap_shot18
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
🚨︎ report
A classic joke my dad would always tell: what's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mossybeard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Jokin' like a dad

Last night my daughter was looking at some new clothing my wife had gotten her.

Daughter: "I like this one, it has tulips on it!"

Me: "Do you like me? I have two lips too!"

Daughter: "Where?"

Me: "Right here!" points to lips "One lip! Two lips!"

Wife: rolls eyes

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/omega697
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
🚨︎ report
What is better than having roses on your piano?

Having tulips on your organ.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pho_de_bimos
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What type of flowers are the best for kissing?

Tulips!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
🚨︎ report
What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/E3galloway
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
How do flowers kiss?

With their tulips

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chockzilla
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2016
🚨︎ report
What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Skullify
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2015
🚨︎ report
What's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LingeronmyFinger
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
🚨︎ report
what's better than roses on your piano?

... tulips on your organ.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Soosh123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2013
🚨︎ report

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