Lily's fatal Greek mythology school play.

Lily liked Greek mythology a lot. Her favorite character was the titaness Rhea. She loved the story about her outsmarting Cronus with a stone in order to get her children back. She loved it so much in fact, that for the sake or realism, she decided to eat some rocks too for the upcoming school play she took part in! But, very soon after going onto the stage, poor Lily started convulsing on the floor. It was a poor decision to eat the stones. She knew that. But at least, she could die a Rhea.

I am so, so sorry. Please forgive me.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/BrotherTausil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
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Puns are blooming all over this garden....Like a cat fight between a dandelion and tiger lily...

Oops...A Daisy

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/l17charlie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Daisy, Rose, Violet, Lily, I want you to all go get some sleep
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/ServalSpots
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
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Dad, why am I called Lily?"

"Because when you were born, a lily landed on your head; so we called you Lily."

"Dad, why am I called Rose?"

"Because when you were born, a rose petal landed on your head; so we called you Rose."


"Shut up, Refrigerator."

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
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Beautiful Lilies from around the world
πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ‘€︎ u/killahherb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
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I was trying to think of the artist who painted The Water Lily Pond.

But I just can't remember him for love nor Monet.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/xz03yx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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There is a very common and seamingly innocuous plant. But if you sit under it for 5 minutes, you’re dead.

A water lily

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBully74
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2020
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3 Little girls were walking along with their mother on the way home from the park

Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...

Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?

Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.

The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...

Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?

Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head

This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...


Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block

πŸ‘︎ 190
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrogOnACouch
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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Amphibious Lending policies

A frog walks into a bank. He walks up to a desk and sees the name plate "Patty Whack Loan Officer". He says "I'd like to get a loan to start a business making lily-pad art." Patty, a little put off by a talking frog says "Okay, but we are going to need some kind of collateral." The frog says"I have this." and he puts a small porcelain figurine on her desk. She says "That's very nice but I'm not sure it's enough. Do you have any references?" "Sure!" the frog replies. "My Father is Mic Jager!" Further taken aback, Patty says, "I'll have to check this with the bank manager." She calls the bank manager over and explains the odd situation. "I don't know what's going on...this frog says his father is Mic Jager and all he has for collateral is this...figurine thing." The bank manager looks up and smiles at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan! His old man's a rolling stone!"

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quicksdraw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
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Anytime someone is getting married.

DAD: Make sure you treat her right. I really screwed things up with my first wife.

PERSON: I didn't know you were married before Lily (his current wife).

DAD: I wasn't thats who i'm talking about.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/WineEmDineEM
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2014
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My dads first joke to my mom "Why do elephants have flat feet?"

So they can better walk on lily pads!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/rbcrusaders
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
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