What do you call when you lit an 'O' on fire?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
Did you hear about the guy who lit a fire in his canoe and caused it to sink?
It just goes to show, you can't have your kayak and heat it too!
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 03 2021
Just lit my grill and I held a flaming stick in front of my sons face...
Son: STOP! Itβs never funny to joke around with fire!
Me: (looks at the fire) Why did the chicken cross the road?
The wife and I were crying laughing while the son went inside and locked us out of the house. πππ
π︎ 4
π
︎ Mar 28 2021
Lowkey lit
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
Thought yβall might enjoy these illustrated puns I found on the back of my English lit class notes from high school π
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 20 2020
This cake was lit (made by me)
π︎ 1k
π
︎ May 08 2020
A butt lit a house on fire...
So I guess he committed Arse-on
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
Martha had always listened to her parents when they said βstay away from fireβ, but today, her interests got the best of her and she intentionally lit herself on fire just to see what it felt like.
Martha was burning with curiosity
π︎ 68
π
︎ Jul 15 2020
My dashboard lit up before the fin fell off the back of my car.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
I was cold while in my kayak so I lit a fire and it sunk
Shows you canβt have your kayak and heat it too!
π︎ 27
π
︎ May 10 2020
I was messing around with my wife while we were camping and accidentally lit her hair on fire...
Sheβs not going to divorce me, but she was fuming.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 05 2020
Isreal lit in the comment section
π︎ 126
π
︎ Jul 04 2019
Lit on two separate levels
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
This water is lit!
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jun 05 2019
What do you call santa if he goes down a lit chimney?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
Switch to the lighter switch (They look lit)
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
Possibly better than Quiz-lit
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft...
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Nov 30 2016
This is LIT π‘
π︎ 92
π
︎ Mar 19 2019
I like how they light the Olympic torch near Athens, then it stays lit all the way to the opening ceremony.
I guess it's hard to put out a Greece fire.
π︎ 652
π
︎ Feb 10 2018
Thomas Edison really lit up the scientific world
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 16 2019
My school had a fire it was pretty lit
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 09 2019
What's more lit than socks with sandals?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 20 2019
You guys hear about the latest batch of Jim Beam? I've been told it's pretty lit.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 03 2019
I majored in English. My education was lit.
π︎ 27
π
︎ Aug 10 2018
My night's gonna be lit.
π︎ 332
π
︎ Sep 29 2017
it must suck to be a lit candle
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 17 2019
A friend of mine lit a pile of wood on fire
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
I canβt claim to know why they green lit the new Sonic movie
But Iβm guessing they were hopped up on speed
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
What does the farmer say when he wants to make his party lit?
Hey, lettuce turnip the beet!
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 26 2018
A man filling his car with gas, got some gas on his arm. He got in his car and lit a cigarette lighting his arm on fire. He flails around and other patrons help him put it out, just then 2 cops roll up...
They arrest him for waving a fire arm.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2019
Went to visit my brother in the city and noticed he had cute little statues in his garden that lit up and moved around with the music he had piped out there.
He said they were metro gnomes.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 24 2019
Itβs been a month since I quit my job transcribing pre-Classical Greek lit into Braille.
It feels like ancient history.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 24 2018
Moses was a terrible actor. He only ever got one part. That bush, on the other hand, was straight up lit.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 10 2018
I dropped a lit match, all i could say was...
that fire got out of hand
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jul 02 2014
What did Frosty's wife say to him at the candle-lit dinner?
You're such a snowmancer!
(then they melted into each other's arms...er twigs)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 05 2015
Lit and Lighted
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 13 2014
We discussed Robert Frost's "Mending Wall" today in Lit
Me: so I guess you could say he rides the fence about fences.
Classmate: and he doesn't want anyone to take offence about it.
Me: I gate what you're saying.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 28 2015
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft.
Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 09 2019
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank
Proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 25 2018
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
