362 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up...

Unbelievable!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ralph-Hinkley
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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What do you call a woman that would rather stare at her phone than look up at the Northern lights?

Aurora Borealis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timthedriller
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Didn't light up on SLPT, maybe y'all will like it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match

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πŸ‘€︎ u/profusly
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
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Open up your morning light...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lindserrific
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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Ding heres a light joke to brighten up the world(three jokes in one) (;
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHotSouthWinds
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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Two snails pulled up next to me at a red light.

When the light turned green they sped away.

I looked to my friend and said, β€œlook at that S car go!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/davidwayland
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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If a light no longer lights up

Is it a light, or a dark?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoitsdavid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Lights out lying in bed. My wife just made this up: Which jokes are historians allergic to?

AntiHistoryMemes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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Here's something to light up your life
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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Say β€œRise up lights” out loud.

Congratulations, you can now say razor blades in Australian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/G-Note
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Where does bad light end up?

In prism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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This one really lights up your day
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Sometimes I get tyred of normal jokes and make puns instead. They are quick, easy, and don't put you under pressure. Sometimes, they can be very flat. They can be as light as air, or as heavy as steel. All in all, puns really punp me up!
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πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
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I'm always able to light up a room

simply by smiling and moving away from the window.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JadedByEntropy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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These puns really light me up
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IshaqN94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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Dad pulls up to a red light, Car next to him revs the engine and yells "race?"

Dad responds "Hispanic!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/strider820
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2016
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If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/brookscorbs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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What do you say when your parents pick you up from your light skinned friend Rachel’s house?

Biracial

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anythingman1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
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In the supermarket, my son and I saw a cashier holding a customer's note up to the light.

"Is that counterfeit?" my son asked.

I said, "Don't be silly, son. Counters don't exercise."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Too late I realized the new jar of discount mayonnaise felt light. When I opened it up the pristine surface collapsed into a large air pocket.

Yes it was a sinkhole de mayo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JazzboTN
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2018
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You know when you sneeze and that tiny region in your brain really lights up

There's a small part of me that really enjoys that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DownloadSerpaint
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Why did the robot’s eyes light up?

He finally got new contacts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SargerasIsBack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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She lights up the room, every time she walks in...

...then again, she’s the only one who knows where the light switch is.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixel_juice
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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So a friend of mine was putting up Christmas lights and they got stuck in her hair

She was light headed!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cookie4524
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2017
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I got out of bed and my girlfriend asked "Will you turn the lights off while you're up?"

I said "No, but I can turn the lights off while Asia."

Girlfriend cringed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seeteebee3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2015
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It January second and people already have their Christmas lights up....this is getting ridiculous.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meatballin12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2017
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Thomas Edison was the type of guy who really knew how to light up a room.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2016
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In light of No-Shave November, my best dad joke up to date.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_Responsible
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2013
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I could see his eyes light up as I unknowingly provided the set-up.

Me: banging an ice cube tray on the kitchen counter to get the ice out

Dad: Who's making all that racket?

Me: Me, I'm trying to break the ice

Dad: Why, is nobody talking to you? Ahahaaaaaaa.

Dad goes back to eBay

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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatering
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2013
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I woke up this morning and my bedside light had turned into a moth...

That's the last time I ever buy a larva lamp…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2017
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Setting up Christmas lights with my dad

Me, holding one end of a string of lights: Ok, Dad, grab a side.

Dad: Isn't that what kills grabs?

Me: What?

Dad: Grabacide.

He burst out laughing for a full minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dude_Dudeman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
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How do you light up a soccer stadium?

With a soccer match

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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How do you light up a soccer stadium

You have a soccer match!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/howiewu0402
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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Can you believe that people have their Christmas lights up already?

There is still 365 days until Christmas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beroc85
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2019
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What lights up a soccer stadium?

A soccer match.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Where does bad light end up?

In prism

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrRGP3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2015
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Can't believe people still have Christmas lights up... Christmas was LAST YEAR!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alexdude1085
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2017
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