Long live Rudolph the red
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pasd84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What looks like red paint and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Dont hate me its cakeday

πŸ‘︎ 279
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/imaharry23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/13harry09
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Roses are Red, Violets Are Red...

...I set your garden on fire.

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red knows rain dear
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CV3C20
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of racist red necks storming the Capitol Building?

The Coup Klux Klan

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobMV03
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
Nobody wanted to buy my Red Hot Chili Peppers cd.

I have to give it away now

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
A viking named Rudolph The Red was looking out his window one day

"Its going to rain soon" he said to his wife. "How could you possibly know that?" She asked. He simply replied, "Because Rudolph The Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What does a white hat dropped into the Red Sea become?

Wet

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irishlamb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the red-haired elf in the baking dept. at the North Pole?

He’s a gingerbread man.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/forkspoooon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
I was left a package this morning. On the front in big red letters it said, "PLEASE DO NOT BEND"

I thought to myself, how the f**k am I supposed to pick it up?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My partner turned 40 today so I gave him some red, red wine and told him

UB40

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s blue and smells like red paint

Blue paint 🎨

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My 12 year old daughter got me today. Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer was playing on the radio.

"What was the other reindeer's name?"

"Um, Dasher?"

No."

"Dancer?"

"No. Olive."

"Olive?"

"Yes! Olive, the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names."

I was very proud.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsrigdic
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A stormtrooper and a red shirt get into a fight

Despite not receiving a single hit, the red shirt died.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Snoopy AKA Snoop dogg AKA the Red Baron has been spotted flying his Dogg house today. It is understood that he defeated his enemies in one fell snoop.
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Badwolfgyt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is pronounced dead after colliding with a flock of seagulls and a 747 over Madrid.

Eyewitnesses say the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nsh921
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do Red Lobster shrimp and a car dealership have in common?

They’ve both been detailed

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/flowersforfrogs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Can’t wait for the first married woman to walk on the red planet.

Just so I can ask if there’s wife on Mars.

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A viking by the name of Rudolph the Red was sitting in his home, when he looked out the window.

He told his wife that it was going to rain soon. His wife, never hearing her husband predict the weather before asks, "How Rudolph, how do you know its going to rain soon?"

"Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pidgeon-eater-69
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Which red is the hardest to see?

Censored

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Unkn4wn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A Viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said

β€œIt looks like it’s going to rain” his wife said how do you know?

He replied β€œRudolph the Red knows rain, dear....

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pasd84
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
One Night a Viking named Rudolph the Red told his wife, It’s going to Rain...she asked how he knew...

Because Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear

(Yes, I stole this from another sub:))

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DJBlue18
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released

UB40 now.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is black, white and red all over?

A penguin in a blender.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ur-main-man-gabe
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Red Cross not allow Jesus and Muhammad to volunteer?

It’s a non-prophet organization.

πŸ‘︎ 136
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/walrusgumbel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite colors are red, green, and blue.

They are the only colors I see.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
After the exodus through the Red Sea, Moses's staff could no longer perform miracles, and still he kept it beside him the rest of his life...

...he just couldn't part with it.

πŸ‘︎ 61
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.

He's a bordeaux collie.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mykeuk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s red and sticky?

That bloody stick

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Red wine and fish don't mix....

In fact, mine died.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Red Barron Originally Planed To Incorporate an Amelia Earhart Line Of Pizzas Into Their Brand.

But didn't because they felt no one would be able to find them.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NoManner8265
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the violent crash between the red ship and the blue ship?

All the sailors were marooned!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Vanguard_The
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
A Viking named Rudolph the Red

One night a viking named Rudolph the Red was looking out the window when he said, β€œIt’s going to rain.” His wife asked, β€œHow do you know?” He said, β€œBecause Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-Tigger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08
🚨︎ report
What is blue and smells like red paint

Blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hoggenstein123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells like blue paint??

Red paint.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Daymondotcom
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LocalSalesRep
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Chacmaa
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theunkillable
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.