How do you determine the mass of a red hot chili pepper?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hawkeye45_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2021
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Roses are red, cellos are brown

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 811
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordCinko
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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Why did the nurse carry a red pen?

In case she needed to draw blood.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 123
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pka13
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2021
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I was sitting at a red light with my family, when all of a sudden I said "Look, son! A super hero!"

It was the Green Arrow.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 125
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
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Why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they need to draw blood.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zoyaabean
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2021
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My friend said, "I bought a parrot for my son that has red and blue feathers."

I said, "Your son must look very strange."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a red-headed ninja?

A ginja!

(Straight from my red-headed teacher who has this nickname from his in-laws)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rmath12
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2021
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A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 306
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMeeme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 06 2021
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What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dragon_librarian4
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What's furry, red and flat?

A cat on the highway

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2021
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Two boats full of red and blue paint crashed in the indian ocean today

All of the crew are marooned

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/I-am-Just-Sam
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2021
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If you were 8 years old when "Red, Red Wine" was released

UB40 now

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Electronic-Stable123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
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Long live Rudolph the red
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pasd84
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
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You come to the end of the road. North of you is the red house, west is the green house, east is the blue house. Where is the white house?

Washington DC.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cowslapperz
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 11 2021
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I saw a butterfly on the ground with no wings, so I poured Red Bull all over it.....And Bam !!!!

IT DROWNED.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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I know a baker who has red hair.

He was the original ginger bread man.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
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What's red and invisible?

No tomatoes

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rsjf89
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 06 2021
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What burns longer; a red candle or a blue candle?

Neither; they both burn shorter!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 01 2021
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The police caught the teflon thief red-handed

And yet, the prosecution couldn't make the charges stick

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 02 2021
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Didja know that in Turkey they have a social networking dedicated to red hats?

It's called FezBook.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that a car full of garlic, ginger, and lemongrass ran a red light in the middle of the city, injuring tens of people?

It was a fragrant disregard for public safety.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dumbwaeguk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
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The red ship collided with a blue ship!

The crews got marooned...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/linkhandford
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2021
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Rudolph the red and his wife were on a stroll. Rudolph the red looked up at the sky and said "we should hurry up, there is a storm comming". So his wife asked "how do u know" and he replied...

"Rudolph the red knows rain dear"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/13harry09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 09 2020
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Being a parent is hard - my son won't ever let me have a good night's sleep; so when my wife came home the other day and asked why I was so red...

I told her I was just completely sunburnt

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OK_lp
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
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I red a joke about colors once.

It blue my mind.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/majestic_walrus1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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Roses are red, Violets are blue,

Don't confuse KY, with Gorilla Glue.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 55
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 14 2021
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A red blood cell was travelling through the bloodstream...

It bumped into another cell and screamed "Jesus Christ!!" God was not happy, he said "You should never use the Lords name in vein."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordoftheClouds00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2021
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My girlfriend and I were just touring the farmer’s market - she said one of the tables had some red hot chilli peppers, and asked if I wanted some.

I said, only if they’re givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away, givin’ β€˜em away now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ARCdotcom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2021
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It must be my lucky day! I found a plant that says it supports learning about a son of Norseman Erik the Red!

Yep. I found a for-Leif clover!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do farmers wear red suspenders?

To keep their pants up.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LiesInRuins
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I red a book about colors...

it blue me away!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fdaas403
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
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My doctor told me to drink two bottles of red wine after a hot bath...

But I can’t even finish drinking the hot bath

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The-MEGA-O
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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Why did the nurse carry around a red pen?

Just incase she had to draw blood

πŸ‘οΈŽ 43
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/1989JY_Ked
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Roses are red the queen wears a crown

Never gonna give up never gonna let you down

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/joeytherealking
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What's blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint

πŸ‘οΈŽ 95
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitalily
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
How can you tell how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is?

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TKCZBW_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LayThatPipe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green light say to the red light?

Don't look I'm changing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Electronic-Stable123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shigglezandgitz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2021
🚨︎ report
What looks like red paint and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

Dont hate me its cakeday

πŸ‘οΈŽ 283
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imaharry23
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do people Say Red It?

Because people use Reddit.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Darnli_YT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What's blue and tastes like red paint?

blue paint

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PicklePopular
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and bad for your teeth?

A brick

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BandyVandy9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Clatuu1337
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw some blood

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/90eight
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Real_Normal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like green paint?

Red paint.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rf152
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2021
🚨︎ report

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