You have a 2-door car you want to display. You get it detailed. You put it on a platform so everyone can see it. You set up special lighting so all the details shine.

You have just staged a coupe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/basementmatt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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What's the most honest kind of lighting?

A can-dull.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?

LED Zeppelin.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zombie-narwhals
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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How do lighting bolts laugh?

They crack up

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xx420mcyoloswag
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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What is Lighting McQueen's favorite food

Cat chow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OrangAMA
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2020
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I need some advice. My roommate is always lighting incense and it's bothering my asthma.

How do I deal with someone who is being so incense-ative?

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πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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My brothers hate me and my mom might well be on her way to disowning me because I told them the Flash didn't need to get shocked by lighting...

since he was already Barry fast.

^(sighs)

My dad however, is very proud of me.

πŸ‘︎ 405
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leonoraMTY
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2016
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People say I have a unique way of lighting up a room

It's called arson and the people are called witnesses

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StAnger99
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
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Grate Lighting Idea
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duggtodeath
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
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What did lighting McQueen say when he hit the wall?

KachOW!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scotticustamus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
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What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark?

Floodlights and ark lights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DoctorScherzando
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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I started a charity to ensure everyone has proper lighting in their homes

I've always wanted to be a PhiLAMPthropist

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2018
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Walking through IKEA's lighting department...

My Stepdaughter says: "This place is lit!"

So proud.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/level32
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madeofmistake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
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What do you call lighting someone's ass on fire?

Arson.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/allhailbobevans
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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A man filling his car with gas, got some gas on his arm. He got in his car and lit a cigarette lighting his arm on fire. He flails around and other patrons help him put it out, just then 2 cops roll up...

They arrest him for waving a fire arm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormtrooper-85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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I was barred from a recent foam-firing toy tournament for lighting my darts on fire.

They didn't approve of my scorched nerf policy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gralatus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
The trees look really pretty in this lighting...

Out riding in the car with my boyfriend this evening.

Me: The trees look really pretty in this lighting.

Him: Yeah they really do! That one pine tree has scoliosis.

Me: Oh, does it?

Him: Yeah! Do you see it?

[I see the tree he is referring to.]

Me: nodding yes

Him: (nonchalantly) I guess it's just the curvature of the pine.

I laughed really hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/faintingnurse
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
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What did the pirate say when he saw his kid lighting the ship on fire? (x-post, /r/Jokes)

Arrr son!

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thingsishoulddo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2015
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I want to open a fishing supply store that only sells circuit breakers and home lighting supplies....

I'd call it "The Bait and Switch"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/silenoz_676
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
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During this lighting storm, my 9 year old daughter got me...

It's raining really bad right now (we live in Florida). There's rain, thunder & lighting. I was in my bedroom when we hear a loud thunder clap. I heard my daughter scream & I instinctively ran to her room. She sees me, starts to laugh & says "daddy, I wasn't that scared". I reply "sorry baby, I was just checking". She goes "I'm ok, it just shocked me" & then laughed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BXRomeo8586
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2016
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Some mood lighting

We were at a fancy restaurant with my mom, dad and my brother. As they do at these fancy places the lighting was turned down and was only along the walls.

My mom mentioned how lovely the mood lighting was but my father came out with "I don't care about any mood lighting I want some food lighting"

Cracked me up anyway

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Murphs_Law
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2013
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I asked my bf if he minds me lighting incense

He said, "no... What, do you think I'm INCENSitive?"

He was very amused with himself.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ismokeweedlol
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2016
🚨︎ report

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