Today, I got kicked out of my "Flat Earth" Facebook group...
I just wanted to know if the '6 feet apart' social distancing guideline was pushing anyone over the edge.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of the soccer game?
She ran away from the ball.
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
What did lady Macbeth say when she kicked her misbehaving dog out of her room?
My son just kicked the bucket.
I kicked my lad out because he told me he now identifies as a cow
I got kicked out of the library for being too noisy
I tried to explain to them that I was just reading a book but the librarian said there's no reading aloud.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up!
What do you call a Batman who just returned from a fight and got his ass kicked?
I got a buddy that keeps getting kicked out of bars but he always comes back
I was going to be a doctor but they kicked me out of med school when they found out I was a coward...
The dean said, "It takes guts to learn anatomy."
I got kicked out of a funeral for having an erection
Jeez, can’t a guy have mourning wood?
"Have you ever done anything good?" St. Peter asked a guy when he showed up at the Pearly Gates. "To protect a young girl I punched the leader of a motorcycle gang, kicked his bike over, and told them all to back off!" said the man. St. Peter was impressed, "When did you do this?"
"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."
Great, just got kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone five times.
Apparently I exceeded the maximum number of attempted Loggins.
I got kicked out of school for getting married.
I was going for my bachelor’s degree.
Why was the toilet kicked out of class?
Did you hear about the landscaper that got kicked out of college?
They found him changing grades.
I let my son wear a Liverpool jersey today. So far he’s been kicked, punched and spit at...
...it’ll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn't work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
Why did the German sales team get kicked out of the sausage convention?
They were the wurst people.
Why did the clock get kicked out of the library?
Nine ants were kicked out of the apartment complex
Because they were not tenants.
What happens when you get kicked out of a serial killer fan club?
What did the grandfather tell his grandson right before he kicked the can?
Hey look how far I can kick this can
I once farted in an Apple Store. They kicked me out because they didin't have Windows
Looks like someone kicked the bucket
Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today
The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied “if it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friars”
Why was the duck kicked out of his psychology lecture.
He kept calling the professor a quack.
Why did pelican get kicked out of the restaurant
Because he had a large bill
I was kicked out of the Police HQ tour when I asked to buy some merchandise
I just wanted some swat stickers
Which nursery rhyme got Sean Connery kicked out of pre-school?
Why was the fish kicked from the Salmon group?
'Cause he was being pretty shellfish.
I kicked my boot off a cliff today.
It was an assisted shoe-icide
What Did the Vegetables say when they were kicked out of the garden ?
"it's fine then Lettuce Leaf!!! "
I got kicked out of the Mime Academy for performing unspeakable acts
Kind of glad they kicked me out because their curriculum made me feel boxed in
I was kicked out of an ice cream shop because I was born without feet.
Apparently they’re lack-toes intolerant.
Last night my dad got kicked out of a casino.
He told me he just misunderstood the craps table.
My Philipino wife kicked me out for my general McAurther impersanation. I told here I shall return.
My wife kicked me out of the house because I'm still singing Christmas songs.
I said, "But Baby, its cold outside."
My wife kicked me in the face when I told her: Police! Freeze!
I guess I won’t be going undercover again.
I went to the Chinese buffet on crab leg night and ate my fill, but they kicked me out.
They said I was being too shellfish.
What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in the backside?
It was really easy to get kicked out of the Japanese air force
They had a zero Tolerance policy
I went out on a first date with this girl. We went ice skating but we got kicked out.
We were starting to break the ice.
Mrs. Claus kicked out Santa and now he doesn't have a place to live
So that makes him a ho ho hobo
Why did Dracula get kicked out of art school?
He could only draw blood.
Why didn't the Native Americans get angry when kicked out of their lands?
Because they became nomads
I just got kicked out of Hypochondriacs Anonymous.
I just couldn’t admit I didn’t have a problem.
Why was Anakin Skywalker kicked out of the frat party?
He killed off all the Yuenglings.
I got kicked out of astronomy class today
Why was the lightbulb kicked out of school?
My friend and I got kicked out of a NBA game because we went dressed in brightly coloured chicken suits.
Two flagrant fowls means an automatic ejection.
What do you call an alien that’s been kicked out of the group?
What's a pirate say when he gets kicked in the groin?
What did the llama say to his girlfriend when she kicked him out of the house?
No probllama, alpaca my bags.
A kid was kicked out of a birthday party for eating something.
It was the icing on the cake.
I just got kicked out of the flat earth society
I asked if the 6 feet social distancing guidelines pushed anyone over the edge.
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I remember the last thing my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket, it was...
“Hey how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket..
He said, "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll always remember what my grandfather said to me just before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "Grandson...How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I remember the last thing your grandpa said before he kicked the bucket... it was:
"Hey, how far do you think i can kick this bucket?"
I got kicked out of karaoke after singing “Danger Zone” nine times in a row.
Too many Loggins attempts.
I still remember what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
He said "kiddo wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I’ll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said
“Son”... “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Ill always remember what my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Hey son you wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
I'll always remember what my grandfather told me before he kicked the bucket
"Do you wanna see how far I can kick this bucket?"
My drunk friend was kicked out of Karaoke for singing “Danger Zone” 7 times in a row.
He had exceeded the maximum number of Loggins attempts.
Why did the elephants get kicked out of public pool?
For dropping their trunks
I'll never forget what my dad told me right before he kicked the bucket
He said "son, how far do you think I can kick this?"
I will always remember the words my grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket.
"I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?"
What happens when you get kicked out of a murder club?
I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row...
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts...
Just got kicked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone 5 times...
Apparently I exceeded the amount of Loggins attempts.
I remember the last thing my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "watch me kick this bucket"
I just got kicked out of Karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…
They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts.
I still remember what my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket...
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I was kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing Highway To The Danger Zone 3 times in a row.
Too many Loggins attempts I guess.
I'll never forget the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket.
He said, son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket.
I remember the last words my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
“Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
Why did Cinderella get kicked off her soccer team?
Because she kept running away from the ball.
I’ll never forget my grandpa’s last words before he kicked the bucket.
He said, “I wonder how far I can kick this bucket?”
What did my grandfather say right before he kicked the bucket?
Want to see how far I can kick this bucket?
I still remember the last thing my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket
"How far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
My father said one thing before he kicked the bucket
He said "Hey son! How Far do you think i can kick this bucket?"
Why did the elephants get kicked out of the swimming pool?
They couldn't keep their trunks up!
Why did the pelican get kicked out of the restaurant?
Because he had a very big BILL
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