And he responded βoh so thereβs reddiquette to it thenβ
(Also heβs on Reddit now so if he sees this then hi dad)
"Ah still love Vista Baby....."
Heβs the one who kept asking for an ex-box.
He felt his presents.
"The big bad wolf!" a goat shouted. "Is meditating!"
"So? Isn't that a good thing? questioned the bear.
"Noooo!" the goat bleated. "It's become aware wolf!"
Heβs in for a rude awakening.
Iβm not a fan.
So I signed him for self defence class
Eventually, I was given the sack
A cheek for a cheek as I always say!
Seems like someoneβs gonna get lead tonight.
Reddit.
Have to admit, it's rather fetching.
The man asked, "Tit for tat?"
No matter how fast I ran, he was always a little father.
He just can't part with it.
I said, "Everybody knows, you don't hire stupid people. "
He replied, "Deadlifts."
"Don't eat so much candy all at once!"
"Why?" the boy replied.
"If you eat too much candy, you're stomach will get bigger, and bigger, and it will eventually explode!"
The boy is shocked by this image an immediately stops eating candy. The next day, the boy and mom go to church together, and the boy sits down next to a very visibly pregnant woman. The boy looks at her stomach, then up to her face, and says, "I know what you've been doing."
The first guy answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!"
The policeman says, "Well...uh...that's because the picture I showed is his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer."
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The suspect wears contact lenses."
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
"Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that."
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?"
"That's easy..." the third guy replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear."
He told me that he was more of a Rolling Stones guy.
But thatβs his story, and heβs sticking to it.
he just got the most expensive one he could afford for $99.99. he asked to use the cow vendors phone to call his dad. the vendor replied "sure, for $5". the kid worked out a deal to send one text with one word for one cent. he sent his dad: "comfortable"
My son looks at me and says, βyou know Iβm blind right?β Me being me said βExactlyβ
Without missing a beat he said "They can't be, these are the only feet I have"
Proud dad moment!
The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!
I wasn't born until he was an adult.
She was sick of him acting so shellfish
Because then he could truly foil his plans.
"A TOE TRUCK!!??"
Because kelvin is an absolute unit
It was shelf defense.
But, I don't think anything would make my Budweiser.
He replied: A man is someone who is responsible and takes care of his family.β
Son: I hope one day I grow up to be a man just like Mom!
"In stinked"
Itβs my own fault, Iβll never let my guard down again.
"Cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Nah....Just put it on my bill!"
He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
"People like you make me sick!".
...because he dropped out of college.
Zero-degree Kelvin.
Because he was mynewt.
Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
I reassured him, "Don't be silly! Why would anyone pick on you, Someoneyourownsize!?"
Only ewes can prevent florist friars.
He felt his presents
