What is a pregnant women's favourite part of a hike?
The water break...
Said this during a hike so it was all the more sweeter to hear the only two dad's chuckle.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
What is orange and hikes around in the hills?
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︎ Feb 19 2021
After a long hike to the top of a mountain, my wife asked me, βSo what do you think of The View?β
I said, βWhoopi Goldberg is ok, but I donβt like the other women on the show.β
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Go on a glacier hike?!
Norway youβll get me to do that
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I saw a cougar on a hike last weekend.
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Whatβs the best music to listen to on a hike
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︎ Oct 22 2020
A woman starting a hike at the Grand Canyon asked me how the trail was as I reached the top
I said βitβs all downhill from here!β
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Why did Ceaser go on a hike?
Because he wanted to Rome
Edit: fixed typo
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I went on a 20 mile hike the other day
It was a soul-crushing experience.
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︎ Sep 17 2020
I think my friend who owns the apiary got into some poison ivy or something during a hike in the woods...
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︎ May 28 2020
I was going to take a hike in the woods today but realized tick season is starting
and I like my Corona without Lyme.
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Two people went on a hike and came across some tracks. One argued they were foxes and the other said they were a deers
They were still arguing when the train hit them tho π
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︎ Aug 13 2019
I hike most mornings, so I went ahead and made a playlist with music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
My girlfriend "Dad joked" me on a hike.
I asked my girlfriend what she thought trees would sound like if they talked while on a hike.
She said "I bet we couldn't understand them"
I said "why do you think that?"
She said "because they probably only bark"
She then laughed the next half mile down the trail barking occasionally and saying "shh, shh, do you hear that? Thats a tree talking in the distance"
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︎ Oct 18 2014
I invented a athletic shoe company called Hikes, but everyone leaves my store before trying them on.
I don't get it, I've just been telling them to take a Hike.
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︎ Dec 18 2018
I went out on a hike with my friend and right when we set up we saw the heaviest downpour we had ever seen.
It was intense, just like how we were camping.
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︎ Jul 07 2018
After hearing about just how great going for a hike was, I must agree...
It was truly the peak of my day.
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︎ Feb 10 2019
The hikes in Yellowstone are too easy.
They're a walk in the park.
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︎ Jun 28 2019
Girlfriend dadjoked me on a hike
We were right below the flight path of the major airport in the area because there was a plane that was fairly close to the ground. So I said "I wonder why they are flying so low?" to which she responds "I don't think so, they probably have more than one passenger." I stare at her... she goes "So low? Solo?" I laughed and groaned. She will make a great dad.
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︎ Aug 06 2014
I went for a hike to watch the sunrise and saw a group of young deer frolicking in the morning mist.
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︎ Mar 28 2018
My friend was telling me about her hike and I asked her if the views were nice.
She said 'pretty decent.'
I responded 'What about the ascent?'
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︎ Aug 15 2018
I took a hike to the backcountry of Finland...
and arrived in dorsal Fin-land.
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︎ May 01 2018
On a hike today the mosquitoes were relentless
They were really out for blood.
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︎ May 30 2018
I have a backpack that lets me drink water while I hike. I've been debating returning it, but decided to give it another go. Yesterday I put a new straw in it, and now the straw is completely stuck and the backpack is unusable. I'm definitely returning it now.
It was the straw that broke the CamelBak.
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︎ Sep 11 2017
Our family went on a long hike, and our youngest son kept slipping and falling. My wife comforted him, saying, "Don't worry, honey, after we get through this snowy part it's all cake after that." "Don't believe a word she says," I interjected...
"There's no cake, it's all just rocks and dirt."
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︎ Apr 30 2018
My buddy Mark and I just got back from a great hike, but we can't go back...
Because now it's an un-Marked trail.
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︎ Jul 07 2013
Rain on a hike can really...
...put a damper on things.
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︎ Dec 01 2015
What did the introverted monk say to his friends when they invited him out of the temple for a hike?
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︎ Jul 15 2017
Today while on a steep upslope during a hike my son was walking up the shale rock beside the path with some difficulty. In frustration he shouted, "Why am I doing this?" And I responded...
"Well, recently didn't you say you wanted to live a bolder life?" Zing!
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︎ Apr 16 2016
Went on a family hike to a waterfall today in Hawaii,
My wife was taking a picture of the falls and I walked up behind her and asked "water you looking at?" Face palm and eye roll both. In fact a couple next to us overheard and also face palmed #winning
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︎ Jul 20 2016
Hike Who?
- Knock Knock!
- Who's there?
- Hike!
- Hike Who?
- "No one at the door.
The grisly truth is out now:
You are all alone."
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︎ Dec 12 2014
Father-in-law got us good before a hike
We were getting ready to go hiking around Mt. Rainier, and were hanging out in a large tent my wife's grandparents had set up. Her younger brother tried turning on a light hanging from the ceiling of the tent, but it wasn't plugged in. My Father-in-law looked at him seriously and said "looks like you'll need to plug it in to a currant bush."
Cue groans and eye rolls from everyone. At least I was able to appreciate the beauty of a quick-witted dad joke.
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︎ Jul 26 2015
Went Hiking today, and the kids asked " How was the hike?"
"Meh - It was okay. It had its ups and downs."
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︎ Oct 18 2014
Dad joked while on a hike.
"Hey, son, want to hear a joke?"
"Sure, dad!"
"This rock is gneiss."
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︎ Feb 05 2015
got my sister on a hike today
We are hiking this mountain, has been really nice weather when the wind suddenly picks up in force.
sis. "Where the hell does that wind come from!?"
me. point in general direction of where the wind comes from "From there"
The expression on her face told me that I might experience some sort of "accident" later on.
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︎ Aug 14 2014
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